90 days this morning. Feeling grateful. Going to spend the daybwith the family. Junk food will probably be involved. Hope you all have a great day. I’m doing mine sober.
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I’m sorry I F’d up our team streak, but I will be with you tomorrow in spirit when you celebrate 45 days!! 
CONGRATULATIONS a day early 
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Day 9 - Evening all. I hope everyone’s having the best day that you can.
I have had a really busy day. After a weekend away I’ve thrown myself into “life admin” and caught up with where I need to be. I got a bed base delivered today which was lovely. It’s nice to have another small step towards having my own place. The conveyancing is picking up pace now so I am having to juggle that as well. All this is in the background to my day job which is thankfully quite quiet at the start of the school holidays.
I have been thinking today about what my “goal” is in relation to my addiction. With the porn part of my addiction that is easy, remove it from my life completely. For the sex part abstinence is probably not going to be viable forever. So my aim is to love and accept who I am as a person and be open to a loving, caring relationship with a healthy sex life. I’ve said “be open to” as who knows if I will actually meet someone else? I am a nearly 40 year old man with a son and a step daughter from a previous relationship. It’s complicated. Which is why acceptance is so important to me.
If I accept who I am, and my life as it is, embracing all the quirks and things about me that make me who I am (whilst acknowledging that who that person is can change over time) hopefully I can put myself into a good place. I want to be present for my kids first and foremost, but I also what to be the best version of me I can be.
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I understand, I did the same thing after 5.5 months and went back out on a 2 month bender. Immediately I was drinking the exact same as I had been my whole life. It did not get any better. We all have our own journey. I hope you find your way back soon!
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Awe Maxine, I understand that you may need some time away. I will not try to convince u otherwise if that is whar your heart is set on, but please come back sooner than later. Relapsing is quite common when we try to recover but it doesn’t have to be like this. I used to be so embarrassed and feel so awful everytime I relapsed and was so ashamed coming back on TS. But I deserved the support here (as do you) and allowing that relapse to prevent me from getting the support I needed wouldn’t have been helpful at all. You deserve to be here and I just want u to know that. No matter what happens lady, none of us will judge and we all just want to see u have success in sobriety. Hugs Maxine! Feel free to message me whenever 
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Hi Kat here at Day 51 from Benadryl and alcohol. Meth pills and IV opiates in my past.
Did stepwork with my sponsor for first time since my relapse and got to halfway through ‘Unmanageability’ in Step 1 from the NA guide. Talked a lot about my relapse and how it started (when I told myself I could moderate my drinking).
Now she wants me to go to an AA meeting which I need to lose my resistance to. I have been to a couple AA meetings in my life, and they were good with good people. I can’t deny I might learn something. However I feel very attached to my NA fellowship at the moment, don’t identify as an alcoholic although yes I’ve abused it in the past as a substitute for drugs, and feel I learn enough from the alcoholics on here. However my sponsor is probably right.
I got called out a bit about my honesty. Especially where my feelings are concerned. It’s true, I only phone my sponsor when I have good things to report. I only post on here when I can be upbeat. I only feel I can be honest that I’m feeling down with my therapist nd psychiatrist. I don’t ‘out’ myself in meetings wen feeling down or like using. Stuff to work on.
I did one successful thing just now, recommended by my sponsor, which was delete this mobile game I’ve been laying for the last 5 years and on which I’ve spent thousands of dollars for in game content etc. It’s my impulsiveness and I was addicted to being good at it. It’s a relief to have it gone.
Love you all Kat
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Wow this sounds like alot of self awareness and alot of changes happening for u right now Kat. Proud of you!! Oh I used to hate it when my sponsor used tough love on me and called me out on my behaviours lol I’ve had a few resentments towards them but in all honesty, they were right. Alcohol was never my issue either but the last 4 years of attending mtgs back home was basically all AA. Where I was from, many more people had long term sobriety in AA as opposed to NA or CA where it was often a revolving door. So at some point in my recovery I needed that advice and help from those who have long term sobriety. NA has their own basic text but the 12 steps are the same. AAs Big Book was just fabulous 
honestly… the NA Basic Text is great but Bill W and Dr Bob (the founders of AA) honestly changed my whole view of recovery and really helped me to understand alcoholism/addiction. It might be worth looking into and finding a home group that really suits u Just really proud of you Kat and your willingness to grow in recovery. I also want to add a huge congratulations on deleting that game! Ur gonna save sooo much $$
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Day 307 checking in 
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Really hoping u stay strong I know u can do it!
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Like you mate I started on day one we can all get there just keep putting one foot infront of the other boose will never make my life better I have excepted that now 
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Day 73 for me not checked in in a while been doing good really good tbh getting relationship’s back jobs going great bought new car feels like a was never away from the kids for 27 days hope everyone doing good this here forum for me is my safety net and am grateful for it and yous
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This is so wonderful to hear. I love hearing about good days and successes in recovery glad to see u posting!
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Beautiful scripture!
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total mood 
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you so much for the support 
yes I need to be open minded about AA, same steps you’re right and I remember liking the ‘Promises’ which we don’t have in NA, lots of great role models here and in my Healthcare group of long-timers in AA. And it would be a secondary thing, maybe once a week or every couple kinda thing.
I know for damn sure I cannot control my drinking well once it starts and it leads me to want stimulant drugs. My sponsor told me from now on she wants me to visualize my DOC beside the alcoholic beverage whenever I picture alcohol. Very effective! I’m using those nasty rectangular meth pills.
It was actually hilarious at my first rehab we had to take turns reading from the Big Book except they said to pretend it was us. So a meth addict who was a bit of a class clown started reading and instead of Dr. Bob ‘Falling down the stairs drunk’ or something he said Dr Bob was coming down the stairs ‘Juuuust Tweakin’’ lol
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Omg that’s hilarious haha u can actually replace some of the words in the Big Book to make it more relatable lol that’s so funny tho. Whatever it takes for us addicts to relate eh? I also really like that idea that ur sponsor gave u. I think for many people one thing leads to another. So no substance is safe 
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Right!!! God is awesome
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Welcome back.
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Wow congrats on your 365 days without alcohol…thats a good chunk of back to back days. Very happy for you!!!
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