Can’t say mine is much better. Very poor reputation. Jail plenty of times but I always try to give the benefit of the doubt. We spoke of it months ago and now he’s upset that it’s going further out than I had said at first, still all my property so can’t for the life of me understand why he’s making a big deal but is what it is. I tried.
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Day 727
Hello hello fam I knew I hadn’t done an official check in here for awhile but realizing it has been a full month! I kind of fell into a dark hole of depression that I couldn’t find the words to talk about. Everything just felt heavy so I stuck to the just for fun threads, minimally that even. Just a lot going on with life right now that will eventually turn out good but is really hard right now. My emotional capacity is limited. But I’m here and I’m sober.
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Well done staying clean and sober through depression!. I fell into a hole a couple months ago and failed to make it through. So kudos to you. Glad you’re here and feeling better
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Day 10 - Evening everybody. I hope you have all had a good sober day.
Today has been a relatively good day for me, if unremarkable. I went to work, I was organised, I dealt with some problems and then got some thing’s sorted at work. Even did a little bit of training which was nice.
I have however felt a little flat. I dug into that feeling and I don’t think I am challenging myself enough at the moment. The rational part of my brain tells me that the last few months since the seperation have been life changing and I am busy being present and dealing with a flat purchase and a whole new routine. Yet part of me, the creative part of me is feeling neglected. I have spent a few years writing a story in my spare time and it is something I would like to get back to. So tonight I will, even if it’s reading back over what I have done it will hopefully get the creative juices going again.
I am also feeling a bit frustrated with my ex. I was due to pick my son up today and at the last minute she rang to say I didn’t need to. I told her that we had made the arrangement with my son and it would be confusing for him if things suddenly changed on him. I’m quite concious of this particularly with the seperation. If I say I’m going to be there I make sure I am. Having picked him up and spent a little time with him I took him back. As I was leaving I told him I will see him on Thursday (as my ex was working away and needed my help to look after him), my ex chose that moment to say “oh I don’t need you on Thursday anymore.” (Her words not mine).
Ultimately I’m feeling very frustrated that, even as we are seperated I’m being picked up and put down at a moment’s notice. I am going to bring this up with her next time I speak to her as it’s not good for me or the boy to constantly have things changing. Plans do change and we all have to adapt to what life throws at us, it would be good to get a little bit more consideration.
Sorry for the rant, I needed to work through these feelings and getting it down in text for feels like a good start.
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Hi, you certainly have NOTHING for which to apologise !
Am I understanding you correctly about drinking ? Believe me, I have been sorely tempted !
In the cellar of my house (which I only recently purchased), I found 6 bottles of nice red wine… they’re still laying on the shelf down there, and I plan to leave them for the next buyer of this place (whom I hope will come along VERY soon).
Whatever happens, you always have a supportive group here, it’s never easy, but we all do better together.
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Hi everyone… so 45 days under my belt, and pretty happy about that.
I was reading earlier about losing pets… pretty tough, I know that.
But, on the lighter side, here is a video clip of the dog of a friend of mine. I’m kind of his “second-level” owner, as I drove her across France to go pick him up, so I’ve known him forever.
He often stands up on his hind feet to get a better look at things… pretty cute.
Hmmm, that didn’t work… the system says that I can’t upload a short video clip. Does anyone know what I’m doing wrong ???
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Checking in day 91 alcohol free. After 3 months I feel it is time to incorporate daily exercises into my routine, as well ass getting back into running and playing more soccer. Goal is to be down to 199 lbs by new year. Will keep posted on weight loss. No more binging! Have a great Tuesday everyone! Much love!
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Going to start by staying away from the French fry bowl at work. Baby steps haha. For real though 100 situps and 100 push-ups a day to start. Soccer practices start here soon so that will be beneficial as well. I was running. But I fucking hate running! Might give it another shot
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I love ur post! 
Its true… addiction/alcoholism doesn’t make us bad people or horrible human beings. It is just something we experience and we are alp working so hard to better our lives. Luv u lady! Thank u for the prayers 
thinking of u also!
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Thanks @Lorelai and @kat261 
I’ve missed y’all.
My depression definitely was my reason to relapse in the past but I’ve finally learned and know for a fact that will only make it worse. Sobriety isn’t perfect but it’s sure better than the alternative. And therapy has been helping.
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Hey guys. Happy to check in 60 days free.
Its my first ever 2 months in my life. I have been struggling for the last 2 years but being here helped me a lot in achieving this. And in the morning, I was actually so close to relapse but I did not.
Thank you for being here for me.
Have a great day. Peace.
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Checking in
Day 162
I am definitly not listening to my body today and I’m paying the price. My upper body was SO sore from my workout yesterday but me and my boy needed to do grocery shopping today. People were just everywhere on the train and in the store. Some people are super friendly but most were so inconsiderate. They obviously can see that my son is in a wheelchair and yet they choose to stare at their phone and pretend like they don’t notice. So I deep breathed thruout the outing and spoke to my HP bcuz I was feeling soo overwhelmed. I did our shopping and bcuz we take transit (I don’t drive), I had about $100 worth of food in my backpack (which was brutally heavy), and bags underneath his chair by his medical equipment, on the chair handles and on my arms. We got home and I was beat. I hooked my son up to his feed and then I ate lunch. I’m done for the day. But I’m really feeling it 
At least I don’t have to go shopping for awhile and it was a really good workout haha hope everyone is doing well today!
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Amazing Deep! 60 days is huge. Well done for getting there. It sounds like you have really dig in and done some hard work to get there. Top stuff!
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Wow Deep!!! Congratulations on 2 months! Something to be sooo proud of! Ur doing so well and I’m glad u share ur journey with all of us 
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Hi,
I had a really big life changing situation that still is ongoing. Iv had to learn to live again, to learn that this change has happened and I have to keep up with it- I couldn’t for the first year even get out of bed crying everyday, weeks felt like one long day, I had no routine anymore, forgot who I was even when I look back now I feel my soul was gone it was just me detached and empty trying to cope with such a traumatic experience (I get triggered into deep depression talking about it in detail) but I just want you to know you will start to feel like you fit in, the new routine will become the norm, everything does fall into place and then our mental health catches up and everything seems to work it self out and we cope, and manage. But this bit Inbetween I know feels so alien, for me it did.
Also your right that your time with your son is important for you both, and not just for when she needs you to be there. You see your son because your his dad, not for her convenience.
It’s good you have thought about how to approach the conversation instead of just going off about it.
Anyway I just wanted say keep having hope and faith because it will be okay for you.
@Deep huge congratulations on your 60 days 
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Month 11 day 3 of no alcohol!! Feels good!
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111.73 days sober
I woke up so sick
Lastnight my tooth hurt so bad giving me a headake all night
I started to feel better at 12pm because I got some medicine to help and it totally did. Got to work at 2pm 1 hour late because my boss said to use the extra hour to rest up so thats what I did
Im here at work for 3.5 hours longer and im sick again
Efffffff thisss
Thank god it’s a easy day
Im getting a ride home from my co worker at 9pm when my shift is up then i have 2 full days to rest with my feionce
I’m so stuffed up i hate it
But I’m at day 111.75 willing to get more time
Take care
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Hi Kat, your doing amazing congratulations on your 52 days.
I was feeling rather not good about myself lately, and I hadnt been to the gym In years. But this week I just got up early and went swimming, then I did it again the next day and I havent stopped since (been about a week and half) iv added in a fitness class before the swim and my body aches all over I’m think iv gone in like I’m at boot camp 
But yes defo just go, after that first time back your be fine. Goodluck with it 
It’s great to see you posting I hadnt been on properly for about a week just getting into fitness and reading at night and it’s doing me good so far.
Anyway just wanted to say hi, well done and that iv just started with the exercise and its helping in so many ways.
Take care
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Yes, thank you! It so lovely here. Quite a few bits unpacked but all the important stuff is done. Nice neighbours, gorgeous surroundings, and I mean we have some land! So grateful, truly living our dream. Obvs not all rainbows and unicorn farts… but what is? 
Hope you’re doing ok. Sorry to read about your Dad. Looks like you gave him a lovely send off. Hope the wonderful memories you have of him are some comfort 
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Thank you @Twizzlers for the support and inspiration! Having coffee with a dear addict friend tomorrow but will plan and confirm a trip to the gym Thursday afternoon after work. Will think of it as a treat and very positive thing for myself, get the 90’s dance tunes going, and smile.
You make me want to swim and indeed my gym has two pools (and a women’s only so you can go in naked hot-tub!!)… don’t worry, the guys section has one too. I know they do Aquafit which I would enjoy so will pick up a pool schedule. I also need one because my kids are members and I need to know when family swim is. So you see, you’ve helped all of us!
Love Kat
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