At work which feels good, the social interaction and caring for people is good for me. I am totally my own worst enemy like many addicts lol.
Had a bit of a revelation last night. So I choose to work the early shift, 6am to 2pm. This allows me to have the rest of the day to do other stuff, and is particularly great so I can attend meetings.
However last night at about 6:30pm I totally crashed fatigue wise and it occurred to me that this is what happened before last relapse, that is that I would get tired and miss evening meetings, more and more as time went on. Light bulb moment!
So my solution is going to be looking for an online meeting (NA) that takes place in the late afternoon or early evening to make sure I donāt miss one. And if there is an in-person meeting like tonight, I will caffeinate to stay up later. I need a meeting nearly every day, learned the hard way that that is good for me.
I did make the online meeting last night though fell asleep before the end.
Love you all and so glad weāre all making this journey together!!
Checking in Day 164
I feel okay today, I think I was feeling very overwhelmed earlier. I didnāt feel like eating bcuz of stress but I ate a plum and protein ball for breakfast for something.
My stress was caused by trying to get my sons medical equipment packed up in 1 easy to carry rolling crate/dufflebag for the nurses are school. Itās been a nightmare. The bag I got from amazon was too big. So right here is my Lululemon gym bag that wonāt stay attached to the crate. Grrrā¦
Anyway, it feels like Iām fighting myself with my weight and with food. I didnt go to the gym this morning, but will tmrw. I wanted to binge eat/emotional eat bcuz Iām stressed, but instead I chose to slow down and make a nice meat and veg wrap for lunch. The strength it took me to prevent myself from not grabbing the entire tub of frozen yogurt and eating it was alot! I know that binge eating will NOT make it better but make me feel worse about myself if I engage in that. But that pull to do that is there. Grateful I didnāt act on it. I did eat some frozen yogurt but actually measured out a serving and didnāt grab the whole thing.
In 30 min, it will be time for my sons medical appt here at home. Once that is done I think I will clean up and try and maybe do things mindfully so Iām not all in my head.
Hi Beautiful Ladies! It was only a misstep, but in that time I realized my frustrations and anger were misdirected. I have a disease that causes chronic pain & inflammation, and I have that disease drunk or sober! They are separate, one doesnāt cause or help the other. Iām glad I had that epiphany because I could have gone down the wrong road.
On Tuesday (my 3rd & last day drinking) I only drank because it was in the freezer, I actually poured iced tea after work until I remembered. Then I drank vodka. I have since dumped it and was fine yesterday and today. I donāt want that poison in my body anymore. I appreciate you and I missed you and everyone on this forum I call friends. Thank you for your love & support.
Hi Eric, @Dazercat I missed you a lot too. I havenāt seen many of your posts so Iām not sure if youāre still on vacation. I read a few, and I truly hope you were able to enjoy it and not worry about what anyone else was doing. You always say, you can only control yourself. Sending hugs my friend!
Thanks Maxine. Iām glad youāre still in the fight. So I guess if Minnie isnāt on the foodie thread your not checking for me there?
And Iām doing daily gratitude of course.
Thanks for thinking of me.
I know Iāve missed some people. @Piglet86 (MC) you reached out, and I want to thank you too
@DryIn785 Hey Mark, I donāt think Iāve seen you at all, hope you didnāt drink. But if you did, come back my friend and join me on my completed day 1!
Another reason. I stepped away, I was getting so overwhelmed. Some of you are amazing at keeping track, responding to everyone especially if theyāre in need. I commend you for that. I couldnāt keep up. I will do my best and know, no matter what, I care about you all, may miss posts, skip a day here & there, but Iām hanging around this time.
@Daishippai youāre correct sir, Iāve never made it to 30 days, so my 43 was definitely an accomplishment. Thank you!
Actually Iāve only scrolled & looked for Minnie there and Iām WAY behind on Memeās. You are such a strong presence here and a big reason Iām on this sober journey.
And I canāt forget my 1st reply from @Miranda I hope youāre hanging in there beautiful lady!
Sorry to hear your going through this.
Your right in thinking no point working until you ben told to worry, you will just drive yourself insane.
I do have you in my prayers
And Iām glad you have something to look forward to on your birthday. BLTās Iām drooling now too hehehe
Hi, I thought you had tests done, but couldnāt find it before. Hang in there and try not to worry until you have final results. I know, much easier said then done. Iām praying for you if thatās ok. If not, doing it anyway but wonāt tell you, haha.
@Its_me_Stella I canāt forget you! If you didnāt tell me about glueing tiny stones to a sticky board, thereās a good chance I wouldnāt be here. I love doing it and when I drank for a couple days, I stopped myself from working on it because I knew the shit show the crooked placements of diamonds would have been in the morning. Finished and hung my 1st one, now working on the rose.@Cjp howās your painting coming along?
3 days as of 7pm tonight. Iāve had a good day again and managed to get 4hours continuous sleep which is quite a lot for me. I read stories and accounts on here whenever I can and also the just for fun thread to help with passing the time and keeping my mind occupied.
moment!
you totally solved that issue!
I was feeling very overwhelmed earlier. I didnāt feel like eating bcuz of stress but I ate a plum and protein ball for breakfast for something.
? Well, whatās better than 300?
youāre so special. 
Actually Iāve only scrolled & looked for Minnie there and Iām WAY behind on Memeās. You are such a strong presence here and a big reason Iām on this sober journey.
