Hello friends. Today is day 411 (edit: 412 
). Having coffee and watching the sunrise. Iāve said it before, but quiet, hangover free mornings are absolutely jewels of sobriety for me.
I have a doctorās appointment later this morning, then off to work. Hope to stay dry on the bike, as rain is forecast today.
Congratulations @Twizzlers on 300 days and @Eke on four years! Amazing! Have a lovely day, friends.
Day 9
Day 9 of being better. No urges to drink or anything like that, loosing quite a bit of weight due to all this relationship stuff and been hitting the gym pretty hard, she went on another date last night while I was on the couch, came back and acted like she did nothing wrong, all this shits crazy to me I just gotta focus on that sheās carrying my child and Iām one more day sober and one more day closer to seeing my baby. Anyways Hereās to day 9 of a better me.
Hell yeah good job on keeping with it
Thank you, you too your staying strong, have you tried any online meetings? If things get tough it can be really powerful to just sit and listen to others experiences.
Hey all, checking in on day 774. I hope everybody has a good one!
Hi, Iām sorry I disappeared. I relapsed for 3 days and back on Day 1. I had a revelation of what I was confusing with being sober. Anyway, I wanted to reach out to you 1st because of those 6 bottles in your basement. Do you have someone to give them to? I understand not wanting to dump them, thatās why I went 3 days, I hate wasting anything even if it is bad for me. I wanted to let you know Iām thinking of you. Even though weāre no longer sober twins, weāre sober friends. 
Youāre going back to Switzerland Sat. Reach out here if they start talking to you, and tell them to shut the F up. Theyāre no good. 
Iām off to work. 
Day 776 clean and sober. I hope everyone has a beautiful day today, love you guys!!! 
Hi Everyone, I missed you! I will write more later after my work day. Love to all. 
@Lovelyoutlook Iām sorry about your Grandmaās test results, Iām sending hugs your way 
and 
for you and your family.
I should be able to find someone to whom I could give those 6 bottles of wine. They have apparently been down there for a number of years, so maybe they are actually pretty goodā¦ I donāt know, and I donāt want to find out.
I would be lying if I said that I hadnāt thought about it, but I wonāt be going any further than that.
Donāt be too hard on yourself about resettingā¦ When I fell off the wagon after being on it for 9 months, I foolishly laid there and waited until both the wagon and the horse went back and forth over me two or three times! Now Iām trying to stay out of the damn thingās way!
That being said, Iām glad that youāre back. You got well over 40 days, thatās a great achievement. Forgive me if Iām mistaken, but I seem to recall that you had said that previously, you had not managed more than a monthā¦ So now you have! A new āpersonal bestā.
And I suspect that your next āpersonal bestā is right around the corner.
Have a nice day at workā¦ Iām working away on one of my tasks as well. Very exciting stuff.
Maxine, Iām so happy you are back. You now have the opportunity to turn those three days into the most powerful days of your life. As you reflect on them try to figure out what triggered you into the relapse. Strengthen yourself against that weakness so next time you can slap it down. What did those three days do for you? Did they make life easier or better? Did they make any of your problems vanish permanently? Did they make you feel better about yourself? Journal about it. Get deep into yourself. Those three days have the ability to give you some powerful truths about recovery. Donāt bother wallowing in shame over it. Instead hold your head high and be proud that you came back. Be proud that today you can find the lesson in relapse that can make your recovery stronger than ever. Iām so grateful for your honesty and strength to come back and share with us. Welcome back home, luv.
No I donāt really know where all the online meetings and stuff are but I go to a meeting with my buddy every Sunday
Morning all checking in on day 3 had a little slip up. Gonna keep trying
I am so happy to see you back and posting Maxine!! How are you doing? Iām happy that you didnāt take long to come back 
hugs lady
Back on track. Checking in day 4
Day 145
I got the lease. My roommates are welcoming. I am paying less rent than I was. I have therapy again this week. Things might beā¦ok.
please, dont let me fuck this up. Life could be peaceful in this new room. I could have a car and do better art. Paper, not canvas now. Going to get rid of a lot of things. Only bringing things I use to this room.
So grateful for my mom. Grateful for this turn of luck. My cats. I need to look at my internet addiction head on if I am to survive this. But it feels possible now that i have a Place. Quiet, with my own bathroom and a big desk.
I will have a busy weekend. My car and current room smell bad and I need to clean them. I need to donate to thrift store, and pick up things to make this new room feel like home. Im going to get a nice soap dispenser and a new loofah. Maybe a rug if I can find one.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Thanks for reading. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.
Hands Charlie a raincoat so all those annoying moments can slip right off. . Hope your day gets better.
Day 10064
Spent my usual time sitting outside watching the world around me wake up. A cute baby gecko kept trying to steal my coffee cup lol. Five years in Florida and I still feel blessed to see the variety of wildlife and bright blue skies. I moved from Central California where it was a dust bowl with yellow skies.
Today is my cat scan of my lungs. Somehow I have managed to stay serene about it. Iām pretty old and tired so that might be part of it along with the feeling of it is what it is. No sense in working myself up over something I have no control over. I have a letter from the VA arriving today. Perhaps itās the results of my brain scan last week. Not concerned over it at all. I know Iām okay there.
I will admit that I have had thoughts of suing the VA if I do have cancer and it turns out to be terminal. Months and months ago I showed my doctor swelling in my armpit on the side where my nodule is. He gave me antibiotics and said it was an infection from a bronchitis attack. The swelling didnāt go down so he decided it was scar tissue in my lymph nodes. Never even suggested anything else. I still have the swelling. Ah well, just need to get through today and get the results. Need to stop with the āwhat ifsā lol.
Daughter always fixes birthday people what they want for birthday dinners. I decided on BLTs. Something easy so she doesnāt slave over the stove all day and I absolutely love them. And chocolate cake! Six days away and Iām drooling lmao.
Iām feeling so peaceful right now. Iām blessed. I hope all of you can find that moment of inner peace today.
Hi folks Kat here Day 53.
At work which feels good, the social interaction and caring for people is good for me. I am totally my own worst enemy like many addicts lol.
Had a bit of a revelation last night. So I choose to work the early shift, 6am to 2pm. This allows me to have the rest of the day to do other stuff, and is particularly great so I can attend meetings.
However last night at about 6:30pm I totally crashed fatigue wise and it occurred to me that this is what happened before last relapse, that is that I would get tired and miss evening meetings, more and more as time went on. Light bulb 
moment!
So my solution is going to be looking for an online meeting (NA) that takes place in the late afternoon or early evening to make sure I donāt miss one. And if there is an in-person meeting like tonight, I will caffeinate to stay up later. I need a meeting nearly every day, learned the hard way that that is good for me.
I did make the online meeting last night though fell asleep before the end.
Love you all and so glad weāre all making this journey together!!
Kat
Welcome back!! Iām sorry to hear about your relapse but glad youāre back with us
Wow Kat!!! Great realization! 
you totally solved that issue!