Actually day 16
Had my numbers off today is day 16
S/O has a date planned tonight with some guy she knew in her old unit, says she dose not plan on coming home tonight I find that rather disgusting while carrying my child… going to paint some nursery canvases with a friend so I’m not at the house alone. Generally I’d want to drink to forget everything but no urges what am ever and the emotional pain is less and less every time she walks out the door. Just pushing thru for the baby that’s all that matters
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1.41 day’s clean
Checking in
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Hi! Its wonderful to see u back!!! First off, a huge congratulations to you on 4 years of sobriety! Really proud of u for this!! I like what u said about creating our own safety. I think ur plan moving forward for any other issues that may arise (hopefully not tho) is good! I’m glad u didn’t let this situation effect the support here for u for sobriety 
welcome back!
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We’ll congrats on that 4 year birthday. Glad you decided to come back.
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@Jasty2 huge congratulations to u on 10 days! Keeo up the amazing work!
@Piglet86 loving ur positve post!! And ur self awareness I always love ur morning posts for some reason. Thank u foe the reminder about my morning readings. I think I will do some today too
@Faugxh he has been thru alot. He’s just a very resilient child (altho I wish he never had to go thru it). He’s come a long wat and is doing very well. Thank u always got ur support hugs
@SoberWalker Claudia I am super impressed that u have been vegetarian for so long. I tried to be (mainly for moral reasons) and I found it difficult and actually got ill. Not sure what I did wrong. Love the pic of the cute 
@Cjp thinking about you todat my friend. Hoping things start improving for you soon 
@maxwell Maxine I hope you have a wonderful day! How are you doing?
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Checking in. Clean and serene, 2 years and 5 months and some days. Last night I did my Step 3 w my sponsor… it went so good!!! I love doing the steps, they are so freeing. I want to spend money today, but I know I need to save it… so I have to practice self control. I am also so happy about giving everything to my HP. I even said this morning while I was getting ready “God you can have my relationship. God you can have my weight loss journey, God you can have everything in my life … please take it from me and don’t give it back to me… I don’t want it” I am done trying to control everything. I have to do continuously do this but it is worth it.
My HP knows more than me… I am so grateful for recovery, my HP, the steps, NA, my sponsor and the woman I have befriended in recovery. I am grateful for this forum as well!!!
Here’s some pics after I did my step 3. (I did it outside on the steps of the St. Paul Cathedral)
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Morning Check in
Day 171
Today I woke up disappointed in myself for not going to the gym as planned. I woke up irritable and just over all miserable. Was going to literally overeat on chocolate for breakfast bcuz I had the “F it” attitude. But u know what? I didn’t. It took some effort but I ate a healthy breakfast with normal portions. I sat down and I tried eating mindfully for the 1st time. It’s a crazy experience actually to really sense and feel what ur eating. I need my meditation back in my life amd I need to get back to my recovery routine. Once again I’m in this phase where I’ve been slacking and getting complacent. Prayer and readings (my 2 biggest parts of my routine) haven’t been happening and I truly don’t have an excuse as to why I haven’t been doing them. I’m making an effort to read more on here. Everyone on TS means alot to me. I cheer for all of u, no matter what’s happening, to succeed in recovery. And I dont want to just Check in and leave (I mean somedays that’s all the energy I have, but I love interacting on here). So im choosing to take action in my life. I get out of what recovery, what I put into it. And lately I haven’t been my best self. I’m grateful I can see this and do something about it today. Lots of love to u all!
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Flannery u look amazing and so happy and so free in ur photos! Ur post… it made me cry this morning. What u said about just not wanting to control things anymore… just giving it to God… this is what I’ve been missing in my life right now. I have been trying to control everything in my life lately, and I’m miserable. I want to get back to that surrendering it all place. Bcuz by letting go of everything, we become something! And that’s what I wabt back. I’m so happy for u for working thru ur steps. You make me wanna find a sponsor and do them again (I haven’t done a set of steps in over 10 years 
). But u make me wanna do them! Ur photos are such a beautiful reminder of freedom! Hugs lady!
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Glad to see you back here Mel. Belated congrats on 4 years sobriety from alcohol, and here’s hoping you’ll find the way to permanently quit weed too. We do it together, that’s for sure.
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Dana, yeah I just now have to give a situation that makes me feel guilty and ashamed over to Him… I am so upset about it but I am going to let it go. It is very freeing to just give it over to Him. I got emotional about it too this morning when it happened… maybe you should look into a sponsor. There is so much healing involved with the steps. One day, one step at a time!! 
thank you for the compliments too.
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Hi Dana, thank you for thinking of me. I’m okay, been a long week at work, several deadlines until Fri. Just feeling blah. Hope you’re having a good day. 
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Heyy everyone
Been a bit
I lost my phone and I just found it
It was under my bed with everything else ha
Im 120.48 or something like that days sober
It’ll be 121 at midnight
Off to work soon
Talk later
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Good afternoon all. Late wake up today as I didn’t sleep to well again last night. Sleeps always been an issue with me but hasn’t been this much of an issue since I had Covid. Constant feeling of lethargy. Have to work tonight and tomorrow night then see my mother who I haven’t seen sober yet. So have a little anxiety, but am not setting expectations as said by my friends here and just see how it goes! Hope everyone stays safe and has a good day!
Edit: 349 days.
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Day 3 - For the most part today went really well. I’m making a concious effort to really be present. A bit like with mindfulness meditation when your brain starts to drift off into a whole bunch of thoughts I just brought it gently back to where was in that moment. I’ve spent so long just being locked inside my subconscious it’s been really nice to take a moment and just see what’s around me.
That’s not to say my anxiety wasn’t there. I was at about 6/10 for anxiety today, even when there wasn’t a lot happening. I find it’s like a shortness of breath constantly and my fingers tingle as if they are charged with electricity.
The later part of my day was pretty stressful. I got the contract paperwork for my flat and on reading through I found a section that seemed to imply the maintenance charge was double what it was advertised as. So I had an hour or so of panicked phone calls to end my day, trying to get confirmation. If it is that figure then I will have to pull out as it’s unaffordable. But I am trying to be more rational about it. That is entirely out of my control and if I do have to pull out I have other options.
I am back home now with a free evening so I am going to try and just chill out and be kind to myself.
I hope you all have a good sober day.
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Day 8 again 
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Really glad you are back with us, Mel. Congratulations on the recent milestone!
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Checking in DAY 100 AF! Thanks you to this community for being here. Found a potential sponsor yesterday. For today I’m going golfing and floating down the river with a sober buddy before work. Hope you all have a great day!
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Day 52
Feeling better than my last post 2 days ago.
I took some time to think why I was having such intense carvings and I think it’s because I laxed on my routine. After getting the stage 4 diagnosis for my grandma I got very sad. I had no energy to go work out, I just came to work and straight back home. I guess I needed time to process. However lots of my drinking I did when I was bored or feeling lack of connection. I now realize that I need to work out in order to kick those feel good endorphins going. Feeling good physically helps me be more optimistic and just happier. I cant control what goes on with my grandma but I can control or help my mood and reaction to it. I went with my aunt and my mom to her Appt yesterday. She starts targeted therapy this week. I was very happy to be with her for support. Glad I was able to take the time off work to be there. This week I told myself I must get back to my routine and make it a priority to remind myself to feel positive and be happy. I also noticed I was starting to not feel any sort of type of way regarding sobriety. Like it didn’t feel as though I was doing anything special. I had to remind myself how this addiction takes so much from me and how I need to make sure not to put my guard down. Been listening to my usual recovery podcast but I feel I need new perspectives. Feel free to give me some recommendations guys. I am putting my mind as though I am back on day one. I am not so don’t worry but I want to look at everything with fresh eyes. My kids go back to school next week. We are only a couple days from our mini vacation. I am meeting my sister in SF while I’m on her side out town. Really looking forward to that.
Thanks for reading guys.
@kat261 Congrats on one year 
@Piglet86 Nice set of books. Hope you enjoy your morning reading.
@Cjp I hope you start feeling better
@Leveller @Carlo Congrats on 10 days guys
Happy for all the milestones reached
Lets keep putting in the work guys.
ODAAT 
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Congratulations Nate.
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