Checking in Day 172
Late Check in for me. Was going to check in early but honestly I was in a funk and just didn’t feel like spreading my pity party with others today. I got fed up with myself lol so I chose to do something about it before Checking in. I need to be stronger than my excuses thats for sure!
My meds are frustrating me immensely. They make me soo tired. I do sleep well but it becomes so hard to function in the morning. I missed out on the gym again today and wanted to rest all morning and eat my feelings (both aren’t good for me). So I forced myself up to get outside with my son. We went to the store for odds n ends. There was signs of fall weather which I love! But for some reason I got emotional… not sure why. The fall season is really a deep reflective time for me tho… always has been. We did our shopping and came home.
Decided to workout at home (which I rarely do due to lack of euipment). I used my body bands and my sons heavy formula boxes to do my exercises lol. I feel better overall. I honestly feel like I would feel better mood wise if my routine was not so rigid. I have this mindset where if I don’t complete something at a certain time, then I can’t do it at all. Like morning workouts. For example, if I don’t workout at 530am then my chance is lost to workout. Or if I mess up my eating, then screw it, the day is lost anyway and might as well eat all the unhealthy foods I can. Where this rigid thinking came from Idk. It is very extreme thinking, all or nothing. I do have to address this med issue tho. I do need them (my husband today even said that I haven’t had any “mood episodes” since I’ve been taking them) but the groggy side effect is too much. I’ve been taking them thinking my body will get used to it but they haven’t yet. So will talk to the Dr about it soon.
Grateful for u all on TS. Grateful to God. Grateful for my recovery Hugs to everyone on here!
That Annie is a lucky girl. Can’t wait to see her.
Your job sounds kind of like what my daughter did after her rehab but with feral cats at a shelter. It did her and the cats really good.
I hope you enjoy it.
Thanks Eric . I will definitely be posting some photos tomorrow … didn’t even cross my mind today probably because I’m still learning the job. Will definitely keep you updated. I can future trip about anything so I still gotta be realistic and keep things one day at a time . Thanks for reaching out and hope you have a good rest of your day
Hey lady, I’m sorry to hear ur going thru a rough patch mentally.im always here also if u need me. Good thing to remember is that this too shall pass. I tell myself that often… but at the same time I tell myself that I can’t just expect things to magically change for me, I need to take action in order for things to pass lol. Ya my mental health is off lately too. Things are good for us tho overall. Can’t complain. Getting him ready for his 1st day of school Aug 15. Hubby is taking that day off of work. Thinking I might treat him to a lunch date. We haven’t had a date in 6 years. Bcuz we can’t have an ordinary babysitter watch our son due to needing to be trach trained, we haven’t gone out. But we will actually have time for each other that day since our son will be in school! I’m nervous actually for our lunch date What are you up to today? Work or relaxation?
@Bluekoolaid the days are moving, bro. It’s a trip. This app is like a time machine. I was looking back at my old posts. You were the person to reach out to me directly. I really appreciate that, man. It’s the small things. Stay up. Hope all is well with you and your new job.
I really love ur post! What u are doing (taking care of animals) is such a beautiful thing, especially for the dogs that really need it. And it sounds like it’s beneficial for u too sounds like a great job honestly.
This app really is like that !! It’s cool to be able to keep track of everything and look back on old times . This app is really cool . I never had any other social media before but this place is really cool . Ha I remember reaching out to you early on … probably because of skateboarding or maybe the music thread or maybe relating to your story also … You are a real person . I appreciate real people . Glad to see your pushing along . I think back myself and it’s crazy the way I was living and now doing the right thing actually has made things easier . Hope you have a Good Friday !! We got This !
Thank you . I’m definitely excited about the job. I think it will definitely help with my recovery. Thanks for reaching out and hope you have a good rest of your Friday
Things are great though part of me wonders when the bottom will fall out and I will stop functioning this well again.
However. Doing so well over last week. Have done about 5 meetings. Worked 3 days. Have been to gym 5 days in a row after work, making sure my gym bag is packed the night before. Showering and brushing teeth every night. Putting makeup on. Doing laundry (and folding it!). Keeping kitchen clean. Cooking. Calling sponsor. Stepwork. Driving fellow addict to meetings and the food bank. Etc, lol.
It could be due to the antidepressant medication increase a couple months ago. However, in order to function I do need to use caffeine, specifically those 5hr energy shots you get at convenience stores (Red Bull also works). I drink about 3-4 energy drinks a day. Also been taking some supplements L-Tyrosine and another one. I do still sleep pretty well at night for all that.
Hey Kat. I’m glad I saw this. I forgot to wish you a HUGE Congratulations for your 1 year clean off meth yesterday. And a day now.
And so are you.
Your bottom already fell out. You’re back baby. You’re back.
ODAAT
Wow Kat… ur like superwoman! That’s alot of productive stuff. If ur like me, being productive and accomplishing things improves my mood incredibly. Do u think that is why ur feeling so good? I think it’s normal to have those thoughts of “when are things going to crash and burn??” lol but if being productive for u is working, then maybe that’s the key to improved mood for u. It is for me like today I was again in a slump and I forced myself to get outside and be productive. It helped my mood. Even tho I don’t want to do it, I know I should bcuz it helps. Just make sure u don’t burn out… cuz u are doing alot. Maybe schedule time for urself too? Just a thought my friend. Really proud of you Kat! Hugs!
129 days
Managed to have a binge free week so far, which I’m happy about.
Sticking to my commitment to head to the gym before work this morning.
Don’t have a lot of rest this week so going to try find some time to wind down and have fun with my husband tonight/tomorrow.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend
@Dazercat thank you! Feels good to have a whole year between me and that poison can’t wait to get more time away.
@Butterflymoonwoman tyvm I do believe they say every task you complete gives you a hit of dopamine and that’s true for me. However I totally identify with your post about feeling ‘off’ and having a hard time accomplishing things. I just came out of one of those periods and have only been on the getting shit done road for a week.
I think we underestimate how sedating our psych meds can be, I’m on a fairly high dose of both of mine. I need need need a stimulant to counteract that. However, using stimulants for this purpose is not the done thing in medicine these days and my psychiatrist flat out refuses to prescribe me safe stimulants for my ADHD because I’m an addict. So caffeine is my go to these days, well better than meth.
I agree with this statement Kat! My anti-psychotic med is so sedating too. It seems to be a fine balancing act. On one hand I do need it for my mental health but on the other hand… by taking them and feeling soo groggy my mental health is negatively effected bcuz I’m not being productive and having to force myself to literally do things that never used to be an issue. So where’s the balance? Bcuz in 1 sense it works great for my mental health but at the same time it doesn’t. Coming off of meth at age 21 was brutal and even tho meds helped me stay clean, I was literally a zombie on autopilot. How is that beneficial? Thankfully I’m not on a single one of those meds and this med I’m on now is great!.. except I need the help of caffeine to function… and I hate that. My body is soo used to caffeine at this point that what else is there for me to gain that energy back. Idk
Daughter had made reservations at a nice restaurant at Disney Springs to celebrate my birthday. The food was great. Then granddaughter took me to the Ganachery and bought me my all time favorite chocolates, Orange chocolate and Coffee chocolate. Topped it off with a white mocha from Starbucks. I can tell they are worried about me and doing their best to get memories in. I tell them it is what it is and to not stress but I can only take charge of myself, not them. So I’m going to soak in every moment with them I can. . Had more energy today so actually got all my steps in. Going to lay back and watch tv for awhile and relax. Today was a blessed day. I hope yours was too
Hugs to everyone on here!
What are you up to today? Work or relaxation?
sounds like a great job honestly.
. Had more energy today so actually got all my steps in. Going to lay back and watch tv for awhile and relax. Today was a blessed day. I hope yours was too 