Thinking of you and sending a hug. Tomorrow is a new day. I wish you a peaceful sleep. I know for me when I’m overtired things are always more difficult and I feel lost and hopeless. The heat definitely affects me too. Maybe u can try a meditation if you haven’t done that yet. Maybe a positive affirmations one?? I always find those helpful. You are strong, you will be ok, you can get through this moment and this day. Sending love💖
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Can’t get to sleep. Strangely irritable for some reason; which is weird because I had my Buspar refilled today. 
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I’m having a hard time sleeping too. It’s not too late here yet though. I thought I was really tired so I went to bed just after 9:30, but I’ve been laying here awake for over an hour… I’m over thinking things.
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That’s my whole problem: overthinking. Can’t get my brain to shut up even though my body is tired. What time is it where you are? Here (Topeka, KS) it’s almost 1am.
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Coffee. New workweek for me, but only 3 days to go till I have one of again. I feel good. Slept long enough. I’m sober and clean.
Had a meetup with a guy yesterday. A guy I encountered on a dating app, which like 99% of these apps, especially the gay ones, are aimed at hooking up for sex. Instead we met, shared a meal, I showed him around town as he was visiting here, we talked, and when we parted we hugged and said goodbye. Not sure if we’ll ever meet again but that’s OK. It was fun and it was great.
Sex: I didn’t even think about it. Now this might sound logical and normal for a first meeting, but for me it is totally new. First time ever I met another gay man without thinking, wanting and doing sex, and only doing that. That’s how messed up my head, body and soul have been. Literally forever. Through lousy parenting and sexual abuse and through what was inside myself anyway.
While all the while I’m just a (he/she/they) man like any other, looking for love, for companionship, for intimacy. Last night was the first time ever I had the feeling I might actually have that. And maybe have some sex too 
.
So this is why I call my journey one of discovery. It’s not really recovery since there is so much I never even had or knew in the first place. I’m on a road of discovery and it is a wild and beautiful trip. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam.
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Day 107 af
Checking in, feeling good. Need to get off my phone at night. Goodnight all!
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Thank you so much 
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Thank you so much…
So I have some inspiration for this matter 
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Hey all, checking in on Friday morning. Still just pushing along ODAAT have a great day or night people.
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Good morning to all my sober peeps that are actually awake!
I was feeling kinda wound up last night, so much so that I couldn’t meditate. I did calm down enough, but meditation worked too well. I woke up after 90 minutes, wide awake. I don’t have to be anywhere for another 3 hours. I was going to make an omelet, but I’ll have to settle for scrambled eggs because my “non-stick” skillet is now “stick”.
I have an EKG appointment on Monday, and I just realized my Health Access card (a sort of insurance) has expired. And even though I never throw away anything I don’t have the paperwork to renew it.
So Friday’s off to a great start, but I’m gonna keep it sober. Laters!
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Day 731
Another lazy morning, then the kids wanted to try fishing in a local park. We have a dollar store rod, and I know nothing about fishing, so I was sure they wouldn’t be able to get a thing, but they got some little shrimp, and used those shrimp to actually get some proper fish! I was so surprised! Got caught in a hell of a shower on the way home, luckily it is warm rain as a typhoon is on the way. They want to go again tomorrow but what with the 
I don’t think we can.
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Day 325 checking in 
Suns out here in Edinburgh hope everyone is well
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Day 791 clean and sober. I went for a hike immediately after work yesterday and had such a profound and relaxing experience. It reminded me of being a kid and coming home from school to change and go out to play. I am determined to go outside and play every day as much as possible. So much innocence lost, it’s time to regain myself and enjoy this life more. I hope everyone has an amazing day today, love you guys!!! 
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I can totally relate to this!!! Thank you for the laugh!!! 
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Yeah, that reminds me of better times, times I shouldn’t have given up for alcohol. BTW, I actually did get the omelet to come out okay: tomato, onion, and cheese.
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That’s awesome I’m glad it worked out for you!
And this is something we can do now to make new times that we don’t regret! Proud of you man, keep up the good work!!!
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135 days
it finally stopped raining and I was able to walk early today to start the day. It was odd without my little dog/spirit animal cruising by my side, but it felt really good to feel the fresh air and have some time with my husband before the work grind began.Have a wonderful weekend everyone
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I love this 
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Day 73. Just saying hi and much love hope everyone has good days
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Good morning!!! Day 3 complete — starting my 4th day today. I feel good. I’ve been running every afternoon and keeping busy in the evenings.
This weekend has me nervous but I’m confident in how much better I feel helping keep me in the clear.
Is it wrong that one of my primary motivations is wanting to get fit again and (hopefully) regain my 6-pack?? It almost feels selfish.
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