@Butterflymoonwoman I remember learning about PAWS during inpatient a few years ago. They said getting over it takes one month for every year you were using. That’s a wild estimate. Nobody knows for sure. Mostly it comes down to maintaining your health. You know what you’re up against now; forewarned is forearmed. Glad you’re feeling better. @Its_me_Stella You are seriously rocking this. I want my sobriety to be just like yours! @Piglet86 Never be afraid to vent. That’s what we are here for. What I found out about resentments: they aren’t feeling any of it. It’s good that you want to apologize and do the right thing if you’ve hurt someone. But most people don’t feel that way. Don’t let it affect you or your sobriety, okay?
Anyway, I took care of business today so I can make the doctor appt on monday. So what to do with the rest of the day? I’d like to get some exercise, since I joined a gym that I’m not using. I have limited mobility in my left shoulder and left ankle, and some trouble breathing. Anyone recommend a workout program?
Or I could watch Netflix, I signed up for some reason and rarely watch it.
This weekend I will jump into my 6th sober month. This doesn’t make me want to drink but I am having some of my old familiar depressive thoughts. I get the dual refrain of “what’s wrong with you” and “It doesn’t matter” that cycle through my head all day and I know that I need to mix it up to stay afloat.
Tonight I’ll go to work and hit the gym afterwards, I’m trying a new 3 day/week workout schedule. This weekend I will treat myself to a quiet Saturday night before a busy Sunday and I’ll probably lurk around this thread a bit more as I get closer to this new landmark. One thing I know is that drinking does not help when my brain goes dark like this. My head will hit the pillow sober tonight.
Thanks, I think that might be it. I posted a few days ago that my depressive thoughts are gone in sobriety. The cynic in me thinks I opened the door to invite them in.
You truly have done so much work and continue to do so much! But the rewards are soo worth it by what u wrote in ur previous post. I am SO proud of you
I know! That happens to me a lot too. Get up early-get things done-and then what? I have to try to take time to do things I like to do and not things I feel like I should do. When I don’t have things I need to accomplish I often feel lost.
I’m on day 63
It’s been hard as I can’t get out much due to my mobility. This week I’ve been going out without a crutch. I can’t walk very far without experiencing pain but I go for a little walk every day. Tried to run for a bus on Wednesday definitely can’t do that yet. I realised quickly after the first step and styled it into a sort of hop, skip and jump type of thing I made the bus
Checking in Day 179
I am doing much better day. Not 100% but am feeling somewhat “normal” again. I managed to take my son outside for a wagon walk thru the park. Got some exercise that way since I was too tired to do a workout earlier. I have been making sure I eat nutritious food today also. I realized something today and I hope I explain this well. Since @Its_me_Stella mentioned earlier that I may be experiencing PAWS (which honestly I agree with), I have approached my current condition of brain fogginess and fatigue with soo much more compassion for myself. Yesterday was extremely rough for me and looking back, I feel like I was being so hard on myself and even went to the point of almost “punishing” myself by just not caring what I ate or how much, or by listening to the negative self talk that I had and not even challenging any of those thots. Knowing what may be going on with me now, has given me a sense of gentleness towards myself and a sense of hope that this too shall pass. Grateful for where I am today and what I have been able to accomplish so far today
Checking in on day 13
Yesterday I got home late from the BBQ, and I had to get up early. I slept 6 hours, which is not enough for me! But I went to bed sober. Work was very busy, and tonight in my street they are organizing a “outdoor dinner”. That means that the neighbors from the entire street bring out tables, chairs, music, food and drinks. For some stupid reason it’s triggering me… I have to get up early anyhow (5:00 am), so I’ll have to shut everything and put the AC on, otherwise the noise won’t let me sleep.
All in all I’m somehow grumpy right now, but at least I did the workout challenge, that lifted my mood a bit! I didn’t drink today! That’s already something!
Hey you guys. Checking in clean, 2 years, 5 months and 21 days. Coming up on 2 and a half years. My life has changed so much in the last almost 6 months… for the better!! The 12 steps and NA have really helped me be more in “recovery” mindset rather than just white knuckling it through recovery which is what I managed to do the first 2 years clean. I went into work and they sent me home, we didn’t have a cook so I was happy to have a day off. I went to the store, got everything I needed on my list, then I went through my closet and got rid of things that no longer serve me. Found some stuff that I had been storing away of like holy cards and booklets on my HP / spirituality. It made me very happy. I was really tired afterwards and realized I just wanted / needed to lay in bed and sleep… which I did. I have been feeling tired and unmotivated lately. I still get things done but I am noticing I was so busy, I need to do self-care. I ate some Cheeto’s jalapeño Mac n cheese … it was good but not as good as I thought it would be. I kind of regret eating that and not eating something healthier but it is what it is. I am feeling good. I have been working on my 4th step daily
And it feels awesome doing it. It brings up a lot but I know this step is really going to help me. I feel like working these steps and a program of recovery might be why I need rest. Also, I start college online on Monday. !!! Crazyyyy I am proud of myself . I am going to a meeting from 6-7 and then just resting / doing step work the rest of the day.
Have been feeling so much lately and realizing it’s gratitude and being thankful more then anything. I’m not Numbing my feelings with alcohol or drugs and I’m learning how to live . Learning to be kind to myself and when I get stuck or feel sad or lost I’m learning how to bring myself back … back to earth . I sometimes can’t believe I have made it this far . And the thought of drinking is non existent and hasn’t seemed like a solution in a very long time . I’m grateful for that. I have to thank my God for having my back and showing me the way . I’m not doing this on my own . I have tools and help.
Done with my usual recovery goals and responsibilities for the day and now I think I will find something on YouTube for later tonight . When it cools down I might go skate and try to free my mind with exercise. Have a lot of catching up to do on this check in thread and going to get through tonight by reading through here . This community really helps . I hope everyone is hanging in there and staying strong . God bless
AND 24 years sober… wow that’s amazing.
Work was very busy, and tonight in my street they are organizing a “outdoor dinner”. That means that the neighbors from the entire street bring out tables, chairs, music, food and drinks. For some stupid reason it’s triggering me… I have to get up early anyhow (5:00 am), so I’ll have to shut everything and put the AC on, otherwise the noise won’t let me sleep.
I am proud of myself . I am going to a meeting from 6-7 and then just resting / doing step work the rest of the day.
