I haven’t been on here daily but I am checking in today day 67.
I never though I could go this long.
Times (2) I tried before I made it past 2 weeks and then I would tell myself I could moderate (havent been successful at that)
Feels so good to be in so many days now.
Things have been getting better.
I try and listen to my body and give it what it needs.
I have always been the type of person to put a lot on my table.
Ever since I can remember I have taken a roll of caretaker (started as young as 8 years old)
I am the eldest of all siblings and my mom has had a rough time in her life.
I am now a mother myself and obviously the caretaker part of me has only amplified.
I would drink lots of times to “relax” “chill” and in a sense it did help for just those moments i was drunk I guess. It would quite my over stimulated mind.
It would take my mind off the long list of things I needed to get done.
Now clear headed and sober I can read my body’s signals as soon as they start.
If I am tired I slow down without feeling shame or as if I am letting someone down.
I have learned that in order to take care of my kids and my household I have to first take care of me.
In fact when I rest my kids love it. We take a rest day as a family and it feels mazing.
I am just so glad to be sober and present in all aspects of my life now.
So glad I now have this perspective.
Lets keep going in our journeys and well I guess my over all advise today is be kind to yourself and give yourself what you need. whether it be rest, activity, self pampering, time alone shopping Lol. Do it!! don’t put it in the back burner.
@Hannahmay345 Welcome. Lovely to see you join and share with us. @Lovelylisha Congrats on 8 days. Early days are tough and then they get so good. I am still in early days. Still loving it. In my humble advise if you can skip the wedding I would do so. Events like that are very tough in the beginning and its often lead to relapse. If you feel strong enough to be bale to handle it its ok to go just know it will be challenging and a big battle ahead. Whatever you decide remember why you decided to make this choice of quitting. Check in with us if you need support during the event. There’s always someone available here.
Checking in Day 186
Feeling a little rough today to be honest. Had an awful sleep last night due to the heat in our room. I got up at one point and slept on the couch buz I felt so claustrophobic in the bedroom. I woke up at 345 and went back to the bedroom. Just an awful sleep. I decided not to work out this morning. I had no energy I got my boy ready and as soon as he got on the bus, I went to the coffee shop for coffee and a breakfast wrap. Waiting to pick up supplies right now for my son and then I’m off to grocery shop and then to my weight loss appt at 1230. Excited to see what that’s about. Really hoping everyone has an addiction free day! Will check in abit later
@SassyBoomer u are doing SO well on being nicotine free!! Proud of u!! @Hannahmay345 welcome Hannah to the forum! Glad ur here @Lovelyoutlook it’s nice to see u posting and I’m happy that ur still doing well. Sounds like uv made some huge progress overall in recovery @Hayleylujah a huge congratulations on ur new position!! That sounds like fun! What will ur job entail? @Menna congratulations on 10 days!!! Way to go my friend
Hi everyone. This is my day 59. I never thought I would reach 60 days completely sober. I just wanted to share. It’s. It easy for me at all and everyday is a struggle but I’m so proud of myself!
Checking in on day 19
Just caught up on the workout challenge, I’m leaving the (crazy people) burpee challenge for another day!
Tomorrow it’s my Friday, one day to go and the weekend will be here! Monday I have an appointment with my therapist, not looking much forward to that… he wants to “dig a bit more into my personal history”…
Another day sober and smoke free on the books though!
Day 6 - I am back at the house I am staying at with my boy tonight. I dropped my step daughter off with her Dad and Step mum but will be picking her up again tomorrow to take her and my boy to to a women’s football match. It will be the first football match they will see live and first time at a stadium so I am really looking forward to taking them.
The week we had away was really special for me. As I mentioned in the last couple of check in’s I’ve really reconnected with my family which has been one of the silver linings of my seperation. We created memories together this week and tomorrow we will create a few more.
I didn’t sleep particularly well last night as my anxiety reared its ugly head just before I went to sleep. But I talked to my parents about what was worrying me and that helped. I was fretting about the flat purchase.
I have found a podcast about anxiety and it identified a number of different thought patterns that lead to anxiety. The one I remember best is “catastrophising”. That is to say when your mind spirals down a series of what it’s (inevitably all bad). By being able to name the way I am thinking the anxiety has reduced a bit. I am going to pick the podcast back up when I get back to work as it is really helpful.
Short one today but been thinking; based on the way I’m feeling old mood swings returning, going to talk to my psych about raising my Lamictal dose again. He already mentioned it thankfully, but I think now’s the time.
I’m doing all the extras to help but it’s still kicking back into extra aggressive and reactive again, so I need to be quick with my response to this.
Just for reference I’m currently Dx’d with Bipolar 1; possibly adhd as well but getting that assessment next month.
Keeping myself as grounded as possible for the time being
I’m having the usual boring day; woke up too early, made breakfast, etc. Cooled off finally but rainy all morning and just wanted to go back to bed. Dragged myself out long enough to pick up my asthma inhalers. Binge watching some Netflix (sense8 is awesome!) and probably going to take a nap. I’ll write more later, I just wanted to say hello. Hello!
Summer is almost over and I’m getting concerned because I still haven’t shaken my annual winter depression.
I recently went on a 6 day backpacking adventure deep in the Cascade mountains. It was awesome. Life was simple; wake up, eat and walk. As long as I had a place to lay my head at the end of the day then all was right in the world. 6 days of no news, no politics, no internet, no TV, no chores, no responsibilities…
Now, it’s back to life and I’m having a hard time adjusting. I wish I could stay lost forever.
@Hayleylujah You must have made one awesome impression if they created a job just for you! Nice Work! @Lovelylisha Welcome to TS! My personal advice for the wedding? Wish them well immediately after the ceremony then bounce. @SassyBoomer I swear I’m going to join you any day now…
I’ve spent much of the last week and a half doing that; it drives one crazy, doesn’t it? I can’t wait to get back to work.
@Twizzlers I discovered the weirdest think for getting to sleep. While meditating, think about the word “thinking” as you exhale. Don’t ask me why it works. I’ve no idea. As far as smoking goes, I wish I could’ve quit both together. As hard as it is to quit drinking, smoking is definitely harder. Can’t wait to get those damn patches.
Well said. Although I’m pretty sure I don’t really need a half gallon of ice cream for lunch. @Butterflymoonwoman I occasionally have to sleep on the loveseat. My breathing acts up sometimes where I’m suffocating lying down, so I have to try to sleep sitting up. And of course I’m more tired when I wake up. Hang in there!
Day almost 11
Sun came out finally, which in Kansas means the humidity is going to be a nightmare for the next 3 days. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get to go on a hike.
I had a decision to make earlier going to get my inhalers. Wait 30 minutes for the #12 bus, which stops directly where I’m going or get on the #10 now and walk about 6 blocks. I had my umbrella, so I decided to walk. And then I became aware of my pace. “You march everywhere like you’re 15 minutes late. Just. Walk.” I told myself.
Never been very good at mindfulness but I did enjoy my outing. Till laters,
Yes I use the ‘thinking’ concept too !! And it really does work. I read it in a book.
I just for back from a swim a while ago, which I’m so glad I went to. Hoping it will help me sleep better too.
You have quit drinking thats amazing, dont do anything that will jeopardise that.
The only reason I quit smoking is I couldn’t drink wine without smoking so it kind of aided my quiting alcohol.
It is definitely very hard, I still get strong cravings for cigarettes but the patches really take the edge off and help stop irritability. I also used the gum and the lozenges and mouth spray (not all at same time) and they help for when you really are craving bad. Good luck with it, but dont put too much pressure on yourself there are stuff out there to help you with it.
Thank you so much. I will be delivering therapeutic arts activities to people experiencing loneliness and isolation. I will pick activities that will explore their circumstances and worries or fears and build up their self esteem and confidence through recognising their strengths and aspirations so they hopefully feel more able to take part in other community activities and maybe some volunteering. Can’t wait to start x thanks again
Thank you so much I thought I did terrible but they said they were really impressed. That’s yrs of addictions stolen my self belief. This is one step forward to reclaiming it. Thanks again
I got my boy ready and as soon as he got on the bus, I went to the coffee shop for coffee and a breakfast wrap. Waiting to pick up supplies right now for my son and then I’m off to grocery shop and then to my weight loss appt at 1230. Excited to see what that’s about. Really hoping everyone has an addiction free day! Will check in abit later 
