How long before you’re in bed for the night? Do a countdown….make it for one hour at a time. And listen to a podcast while doing something productive around your home. I frequent Recovery Elevator. It helps me TREMENDOUSLY to hear other people’s stories! And to help pass that hour by hour. I hope this doesn’t sound like corny advice. It truly does help me on days that I struggle.
You can do this!!! Just for today! 
It’s a good idea. I listen to that one, and That Sober Guy
Day 197
I just did exactly 15 min of cleaning. Skipped yesterday and my room was a disaster. Ill try to do 15 more soon. I start work again tomorrow. Dreading it, and I dont have a good cover letter for new jobs started yet. Should do that!
Made good food out of tofu leftovers and instant risotto. Will bring lunch tomorrow.
Note to self: dont be a petty, miserable, bad person who brings others down and instead work hard to show up right. When the habit of cleaning all dishes and keeping your room tidy starts to stick, keep educating yourself and read more each day.
Edit: i just stood in the kitchen and buffered. I cleaned it today bc its small and easier to clean than my own room. My own room has:
my desk to organize, the floor to vacuum, litter box to clean, packages to finish assembling and send, shelves to organize and wipe down, laundry to put away, plastic bins and paint cans to…fucking move somewhere else…
Its really not as bad as it used to be, when i lived in a weed pit. I know my brain will thank me tomorrow if i do another push tonight. So posting here to set my mind to it and be accountable. Ill set the timer and in 15 min ill make a cup of tea to celebrate.
Today was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I want a drink soooo bad. I don’t know why. It won’t fix what’s wrong. It won’t actually relax me for anymore than that one drink and it won’t just be that one. Y’all are right when you say that. my inhibitions will be lowered by that first one and I’ll drink The rest of the bottle and tomorrow I’ll feel like complete crap and won’t be able to deal with the issues we encountered today. But tomorrow morning before I dive back into this nonsense I’m splurging On a fancy coffee. I can tell you that right now. A fancy coffee costs like 1/3 of what a bottle of wine would. I deserve that in the morning right? And tomorrow, I’ll be happy i didn’t drink today.
Oh man. I love risotto. Good choice on pairing it with some leftovers to make something new. Also good job on your cleaning!
Good job you! I’m so glad you came here instead.
Checking in on day 6. Still recovering from my relapse. I don’t feel the same as before . Sometimes I feel hope but briefly. I know the things I need to change but I seem to get in the way . I’m my own worst enemy. I’m tired of soul searching and digging deep . I want to escape but I don’t want to drink or use . I guess I can be grateful God brought me back to recovery when I didn’t plan on coming back anytime soon. I also think these psych meds make things worse . They solve one thing but create 5 more problems . I’m going to push through another night with Netflix and food . Maybe tomorrow will be better but I don’t feel it . I’m not drunk or high … I guess that matters
Remember the good things that come from sobriety, remember the pride you had in yourself. You can get this back, my friend. Keep working your program and checking in. We are here for you my friend.
I’m hearing you and thank you… I been here before … I know it’s gonna suck for a couple weeks . In the meantime I will try to protect my mental health as much as possible .
Thinking of you. I’m sorry it seems like the meds are making other things worse. Are they new meds?
Good for you for coming here. How are you now?
I love how ur playing the tape to the end in ur post. Almost like ur talking urself thru the craving! Great work!! Everuthing ur saying in ur post is soo true. And cravings dont last forever. In the moment, they feel like they do. Buy they absolutely dont and ull feel so much stronger and more empowered knowing that u didnt let ur addiction bring u down!
Congratulations!!!
Sorry I’m a little late…
Thank you. I learned about playing the tape forward from @Peace just today. I guess the universe knew I was gonna need that lesson today. I’ve fed myself and showered and went in a little walk and I already feel about a thousand times better than I did a few hours ago.
Evening check in
Day 216
Work went well. Came home and actually had a nice evening with my family. My son still is feeling a bit warm but nothing major. He is basically his old funny self again lol Will be keeping him home tmrw so that he can fully recover. Tmrw we will be picking up his glasses from the optometrist. Cant wait to take pics!
Recovery wise Im good! Constantly am grateful to be where I am today. No cravings or triggers or weird thoughts today.
Health wise I have so far managed to eat within my daily calories. That feels good after overeating for 2 days. Will be exercising at 530am tmrw bcuz my son is home tmrw from school.
Life is good 
In the grand scheme of things i have very, very little to complain about. Where i am today, is somewhere i only dreamed of back then when i was using. My life is not fancy by any means but it is the closest no “normality” i think i can get lol God is good!
Day 3 Sober
Day 2 Smoke free
All i can say is its work in progress…Had to do night shift last night and it was a long boring night.Big test tomorrow working in shop with triggers all over so ill have to be on my toes and stay busy…And Im going to leave at the end of the day when tge co worker’s crack that first beer i dont even care if its 3pm ill be on my way home to my safe place…Its hard when everyone smokes in shop too.But on the flip side Im just sick of being sick so ill do what is right in my mind…
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE HELP
Yeeees… Thank you Joe 
Made it… And seeing things clearly! 
Checking in and grateful for making it through today.
In two hours it will be 18 days!
Love to you all💖
Day 2104. Spent the day doing a few work emails, running a couple of errands and going to my women’s meeting in the park. Also helping both of my kids take baths! Not something you would typically do for two 14 year olds, but my son has to have his foot bagged to keep it dry after a surgery, and my daughter has special needs and needs help washing her hair. I’m feeling pretty present, which is good. Im not wishing my life or circumstances were different. Keep going, one day at a time (ODAAT).
