Evening Check In
Day 195
Been having some slight cravings today. Not 100% sure why. Maybe from the family stress back in my home province. I donāt think I am slacking on my recovery routine. Buuutttā¦ I havenāt been spending as much time in prayer tho. I need to get back into that. But I have been meditating and thatās been nice! Working on the weekends really throws off my routine. Basically instead of doing what I normally doā¦ exercise, meditation, prayer, self careā¦ I only wake up, get ready, and go to work, and then home to do other tasks and get my son ready for bed. Itās just very diff on the weekends. Looking forward to Monday and getting back to routine. Hope everyone is having a good day/night
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Hi Miranda!
I hope the family dinner and Dadās birthday went smooth, and Iām very happy your parents are supporting you. Youāre not crazy, I often say the āif this works, then itās a sign to do thisā etc. The crazy part for me, is I say it out loud, no one here to hear me.
I almost gave in tonight and went to the store for vodka. A storm was moving in, and itās something about thunderstorms that are a trigger with me. Good thing is I didnāt. And Iām glad you came here when you were stressed and you got help. 
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Your personally growth and awareness is impressive to say the least. Iām very glad that youāre here with us 
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Congrats!!! Love your new shades and your new coffee mug. 
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Beautiful growth Jess. Your journey of self discovery is a pleasure to be witness to.
Mah little sugar twin. 
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A daycare, currently taking care of 1 year olds so yeah lots of picking them up
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Thank you. I appreciate you a lot youāre always so kind
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One of the best oneās my āheadāā¦ addictā¦ whatever we want to call it would say would be. " OK if when I get to the light and itās green that means I am not supposed to turn right and go to the liquor store just keep going straight home." So it would be green and I would go through it and then I would be thinking āUgh fuck so now what? Does that mean I drive by the cold beer and wine by the house?ā Lots of times I would stop and just grab 1 tall can as a reward for not going right and getting my usual 2 bottles of wine and 6 pack. But within an hour I would be back at the cold beer and wine getting my usual daily quota.
I am not sure there are many of us that hasnāt had those thoughts.
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1178
Coffee. Thereās a railway strike going on meaning I have to 
to work today and tomorrow. Weather looks good for it so I got that going for me. Whatās also works to my advantage is that Iām sober and clean.
Itās getting harder and harder for me to imagine waking up hungover and having to go to work. Day after bloody day. Never again. This place is helping me remember what a hell that was. Life isnāt easy sober either, but itās endlessly better.
Letās have as good a days as we all can friends. Making it clean and sober is the first prerequisite for us all. Itās so very much worth it and itās doable. Just donāt take that first drink or puff or whatever. Love from Nieuwe Meer Amsterdam.
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Hi all. Checking in on day 373 Been a hectic and very tiring few days. Had a good time with my family this weekend celebrating my birthday and one year sober. But took on a few to many shifts at work. Now my school has been suffering. So need to get my mind refocused and back on my routine. Hope everyone is doing well and stays safe!
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In a little over an hour I will be 6 months clean. Was gonna wait to check in so I could screenshot the 6 month badge but Iāll probably be asleep by then. Iāll add the badge here if Iām still awake.
Today was okay. I decided Iām going to drop out of my online college. work will get easier, but it is an exhausting job. So I want to have time to relax when I get home. Iām busy Saturdays, so Sundays Iām expected to do a week of work in one sitting. Today I worked for 5 hours and wasnāt even halfway done. Iām also part of a free college program which is being defunded I just donāt know when so itās probably best to leave before I get a surprise bill. Work is going to pay for my early childhood development license, and they will pay for a
few college classes as well. As much as I find criminal Justice interesting, I think child care or just working with kids in general is something that I would more realistically pursue. I wanted to work in forensics, but itās really hard to get a job in that if you werenāt a cop before, since they typically just promote cops into that field. I would also have to do so much school that would definitely not be paid for. I canāt imagine myself ever actually getting a job in any criminal field(mostly because of how difficult it is to get one) but I can see myself getting a job in some kind of childcare setting in the future again. I think I really have found my calling.
I ate a meal today which is good. Been playing games and relaxing since I decided I was done with school. I feel like I should be angry with myself but Iām really not. Childcare feels like something that is much more suited for me. I also really didnāt learn much of anything with this online college because I didnāt read the materials 90% of the time. Iād just skim it to find quotes for essays and that was it. I had the interest, just not the motivation
Iām excited to go back to work tomorrow. I kinda missed the kids.
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Almost all done now Matt! Iām utterly exhausted and just quickly popped on and saw your tag. Appreciate your thoughts! The real estate called me to come back to the old place due to some minor cleaning I had forgottenā¦ a ceiling fan and window track that was apparently dusty but clean when I went back etc 
so glad I donāt need to deal with agents anymore after today! Hereās hoping this week brings some much needed normalcy and rest x
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Thanks for your responses and for being here with me friends! @Dan531 @Alisa @Misokatsu
@Its_me_Stella you put a big ole stupid grin on my face every time you say that 
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Good morning everyone. Day 2 and feeling more with it today. Itās not even 6 am and Iām up making the mrs a curry for her and her friend to take away camping with them.
@Mno one thing I remember about Amsterdam is the 1000s of cycles parked near the railway station. Oh and the trams. They are lethal if your not used to them.
I slept really well last night and that is good psychologically for having a good day.
Iām off work this week and have gardening to catch up on but itās looking like I may be rained off today.
Definitely no thoughts of going to the pub today. I shall have a wholesome day cooking eating and freezing healthy food.
I hope you all manage to have a good day or at least a better day if your having a tough time. 
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Huge congrats on your 6 months 
Sounds like you are managing and feeling good about your future this is good
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Long work week over. Time for some family time! 124 days off the sauce. Going to get out into nature on these couple of days and work with my varsithbteam on some fitness as well. Have a good one yall!
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Hi Iām so proud you didnt give in
And remember the feeling when you wake up and feel proud you got through it, thatās what it gets me through some days- the feeling of self accomplishment the next day realising I can do itš«
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Day 38
Will start my day with Rick Hanson Meditation after this post. 
Just wrote a todo list for the week and a new cleaning routine plan for the month (I found a very cool method).
Regular thingsā¦ Yoga, Eatingā¦
And appointment for outdoor swimming this evening. 
šāā 
I decided to do as many things by bike as possible! (fuel prices, clima crisis 
)
So I will drive to a group therapy meeting on Tuesday and another private on Thursday evening, although it is not that near and on the way back it is dark (i have lights of cause).
Take care and stay sober! 
Sending positive vibes and love
to everyone who needs or wants 
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Happy bank holiday Monday to those in the UK.
6 days booze free complete. Bring on day 7.
Had two dreams last night where I got drunk and made an arse of myself. Relieved to wake up.
Going to visit my mother in law today. The joys of sobriety! 
Have good days all.
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One week brother!! And as a reward you getā¦ to visit the mother n law 
lol. Either way man you should walk around feeling a foot taller cause thats really big! Keep it going 
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