Aaah. This resonated. I have similar tells. So glad you recognized the red flags and reached out for help.
Reinvigorate your sobriety! Its hard to stay present and get those day to day things done but you are not alone in climbing out of that hole.
5 Likes
Checking in with almost a week AF. Today would have been a perfect storm set up for relapse, but I took a nap and went for a walk instead. It went through my mind and I kept telling myself, just donāt do it, donāt pick up. I played the tape through and thought about all the things I enjoyed about the last week and remembered that shit will not happen if I pick up a drink. I remembered how miserable I was the last time I drank and how much Iāve been able to accomplish by staying sober. I wish I understood why this horrific keeps pulling me back, but for now I will not drink today. Iāll wake up tomorrow and hope to not drink then either.
14 Likes
Congrats on winning today! Stay strong. Youve got this.
1 Like
Checking in here. Feeling pretty overwhelmed with all that we have to do to start the new school year. I know it is normal, but it is giving me some extra anxiety tonight. Iām also anxious because a job offer for my husband is taking extra long to get finalized and I just want to see resolution!
The good news that I realized tonight is that in past school year jitters I would have popped open the wine to ācalm my nervesā and I didnāt even think of that for relief. Iām just at 10 months sober now so Iām pretty pleased that I didnāt have a craving. Woooot!
One day at a time and steady effort is paying off.
Now if I could just settle down and relax about school. 
16 Likes
Girl I am sooo proud of you right now!! You learned alot from ur last relapse and arr using all the tools u got to pull thru. Great self awareness 
3 Likes
Day 178
Sort of a nightmarish day in my head but anā¦ok day otherwise.
I will remain sober and set the timer for 15 min tonight. @DryIn785 [quote=āDryIn785, post:366, topic:149870ā]
; I struggle with the same things. If you find something that works, please share it!
[/quote]
I think a very simple timed 15 min of tidying is a very solid first step. A whole mood can change in 15 min. And I have just been remembering more. It can be at any time of day and the timer really helps me get started bc theres an end in sight - either ill get in a flow or finish more things or im allowed to say ādoneā immediately at 15 min and like, some mess is reduced.
Obviously this is adaptable if clutter/cleaning isnt a main problem for you, but i would highly recommend at least trying something like this adapted to you - a simple daily commitment.
I have been working daily on assorted creative projects. I talked to my mom and sisters. I talked to my roommate and am worried i was weird. I probably was weird! Massive tension in my body.
Got tacos with amazing vegetables but not enough beans. Need to figure out what im eating tomorrow probably leftover rice, a bagel, granola bar for lunch and pizza bagel for dinner. Im trying to buy groceries more strategically so i spend less money and less things go bad. So right now im holding out.
Full relapse into social media nightmare scrolling!! My phone is sucking my soul away and i make myself too paralyzed to be accountable to my own life. I will delete these apps soon!
Support to others who are Overwhelmed tonight.
10 Likes
Evening Check In
Day 197
Definitely feeling burnt out right now. I think I overdid it on the cardio this morning tho. Iāve been feeling tired most of the day. I have eaten well so far today also, which makes it almost 2 days of healthy eating and exercising. Pretty proud of myself actually Other than the health related stuff, I actually did my recovery/spiritual readings today too. That felt good! Did a meditation also. Did some reading with my son once he got home from school. He is slowly picking up words and I was helping him sound out the words he didnāt know. Overall a good day. Canāt complain really. Iām finding my days to be very the much same. Not boring but very routine. And in alot of ways I love routine. I have always thrived on it. But I feel like Iām missing out on excitement. So need to find those healthy ways to gain excitement I guess lol have a great night everyone
14 Likes
Had a good day today. Brought the mrs to some volunteer work, then we lifted at the gym and then ate some good Indian food. Since reintroducing meat into the diet (about a meal a day, but not every day) our family dinners are better. Really butted heads with my youngest tonight, but then read a bit and did some tidying up and floor laying in the basement gym. Over all it was a pretty good day.
Think Iām going to check out some jujitsu prices tomorrow as I def have at least 150 more bucks or so monthly without buying pot. I have trained a bit in the past, but either my habits or back injuries kinda halted that (mostly my habits honestly).
I hope everyoneās doing well. Looks like there were some awesome victories here today.
Keep up the good fight yāall.
15 Likes
What an awesome idea for a healthier lifestyle! All that money u saved can definitely do more good now. Would probably be a good feeling get back into it after all this time!
1 Like
Itās good to be seenā¦ congratulations on 1700 days of recovery 
2 Likes
I have much to catch up on and I just donāt have the energy. Iām about to make a cup of tea and call it a night. Which is bizarre, I slept great, and had a nap in the afternoon. Iāve been tired all day today. Aside from going out with my case mgr. and the library, didnāt really do much of anything.
Iām on day 22 now, and Iām doing better on cigarettes, but I still have one a day and Iām not setting my official timer until Iām completely quit. So, Iāll check in again if I wake up in the middle of the night. Until then, everybody have a great sober evening! 
10 Likes
@kat261 - You go girl! Way to master managing triggers. It takes work to do what you are doing. Well done!
4 Likes
Tonight will be day 182 of no self harm.
Work was crazy today. First it was me and my usual girl caring for 10 one year olds. They were all acting up today. Then around 4 I got put in charge of 19 kids who Iāve never met, didnāt even know their names on the playground. So tired.
Something positive: even with being exhausted quitting has not crossed my mind once I still love this job even if it is much more demanding than any other job Iāve had
16 Likes
Checking in -Day 11
Good day today. Had therapy twice today. Since I moved, Iāve needed another therapist. I found one who had an opening tonight and I will be a regular every Tuesday evening. It was sad saying goodbye to my therapist of over 5 years. He is in Michigan and we canāt work together due to insurance issues.
Made dinner for my son and I. Need to clean the apartment. I still do not have my furniture yet. They have 12 days, per the contract to deliver my furniture and clothes. This move has been so stressful.
Congratulations @Alycia on your sobriety! Keep moving forward. You are an inspiration!
15 Likes
10 days and feeling good! 
15 Likes
Finished my class only to walk out and see my hubby drinking beer. He tried to talk to me and I could here it in his voice. I felt irritated. Why? Because itās irritating, or because it made me want to have a drink. It didnāt matter at the time- I just needed to step away before I screamed. I said nicely " just really need to hop in the shower"
I had a Looong shower. I got out and made dinner right away, chicken salad and yam fries. Had some yummy healthy"ish" dessert. Started watching a series on Netflix called Echoes. Itās not bad so farā¦ Keeping me interested. Glad Iām sober. Thinking of you allā¤ļø
13 Likes
Wow Mirandaā¦ that sounds sooo tough 
u did sooo well tho just stepping away. Iām so sorry this happened to u tonight
2 Likes
1180
Coffee. One more workday before my weekend. Not riding my bike there today. Railway strike is over for now. And the wind is still from the north meaning Iād have a headwind riding home just like yesterday. 35 km straight into 4 Bf is character building for sure. But not today.
My work in the detox is is going well. Been doing it for three months now and 'm learning and daring to use my own experiences a bit more each and every day. And itās appreciated what I do, both by clients and colleagues. Learning one day at a time. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you can all. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from my commute, where yesterday for the first time I took a little break on the way. The geese didnāt mind although they harassed me for some food.
21 Likes
Thatās the one. Keep going. Big hugs.
3 Likes
Checking in
Day 197
So me and hubby were watching a Netflix series. There was some drug related stuff in the episode we watched. Basically a women trying to get into rehab etc. Anyway, he says to me, āYou realize it will be 1 year clean for us as of December?ā. (It really wonāt be 1 yearā¦ In Dec it will be 10 months for us but still I got the point). I said I was very grateful and happy about our decision to get clean and sober. He agreed with me! Which I was also grateful to hear. But then he saidā¦ āAnd see? U didnāt even have to go to mtgs to quitā. I said it was still alot of hard work. And he is like, āNot really, u just quitā.
I was alittle thrown off by this but then I realized that he doesnāt understand everything I have to do on a daily basis to keep my head on straight lol. Iāve been an addict for 22 years with varying amount of clean times. Itās taken A LOT of trial and error to get to 197 days of recovery from all mind altering substances. He isnāt an addict and for him itās as easy as saying no. His mind doesnāt obsess and lie to itself, whereas mine does. Either way Iām soo proud myself (and of him also!). But itās interesting how he basically thinks I have done nothing this entire time to get myself clean. Itās been hard effin work. Amd Iām still healing and learning and recovering. But im grateful that he is happy to be on this journey also 
22 Likes