Tonight will be day 182 of no self harm.
Work was crazy today. First it was me and my usual girl caring for 10 one year olds. They were all acting up today. Then around 4 I got put in charge of 19 kids who I’ve never met, didn’t even know their names on the playground. So tired.
Something positive: even with being exhausted quitting has not crossed my mind once I still love this job even if it is much more demanding than any other job I’ve had
Checking in -Day 11
Good day today. Had therapy twice today. Since I moved, I’ve needed another therapist. I found one who had an opening tonight and I will be a regular every Tuesday evening. It was sad saying goodbye to my therapist of over 5 years. He is in Michigan and we can’t work together due to insurance issues.
Made dinner for my son and I. Need to clean the apartment. I still do not have my furniture yet. They have 12 days, per the contract to deliver my furniture and clothes. This move has been so stressful.
Congratulations @Alycia on your sobriety! Keep moving forward. You are an inspiration!
10 days and feeling good! 
Finished my class only to walk out and see my hubby drinking beer. He tried to talk to me and I could here it in his voice. I felt irritated. Why? Because it’s irritating, or because it made me want to have a drink. It didn’t matter at the time- I just needed to step away before I screamed. I said nicely " just really need to hop in the shower"
I had a Looong shower. I got out and made dinner right away, chicken salad and yam fries. Had some yummy healthy"ish" dessert. Started watching a series on Netflix called Echoes. It’s not bad so far… Keeping me interested. Glad I’m sober. Thinking of you all❤️
Wow Miranda… that sounds sooo tough 
u did sooo well tho just stepping away. I’m so sorry this happened to u tonight
1180
Coffee. One more workday before my weekend. Not riding my bike there today. Railway strike is over for now. And the wind is still from the north meaning I’d have a headwind riding home just like yesterday. 35 km straight into 4 Bf is character building for sure. But not today.
My work in the detox is is going well. Been doing it for three months now and 'm learning and daring to use my own experiences a bit more each and every day. And it’s appreciated what I do, both by clients and colleagues. Learning one day at a time. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you can all. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from my commute, where yesterday for the first time I took a little break on the way. The geese didn’t mind although they harassed me for some food.
That’s the one. Keep going. Big hugs.
Checking in
Day 197
So me and hubby were watching a Netflix series. There was some drug related stuff in the episode we watched. Basically a women trying to get into rehab etc. Anyway, he says to me, “You realize it will be 1 year clean for us as of December?”. (It really won’t be 1 year… In Dec it will be 10 months for us but still I got the point). I said I was very grateful and happy about our decision to get clean and sober. He agreed with me! Which I was also grateful to hear. But then he said… “And see? U didn’t even have to go to mtgs to quit”. I said it was still alot of hard work. And he is like, “Not really, u just quit”.
I was alittle thrown off by this but then I realized that he doesn’t understand everything I have to do on a daily basis to keep my head on straight lol. I’ve been an addict for 22 years with varying amount of clean times. It’s taken A LOT of trial and error to get to 197 days of recovery from all mind altering substances. He isn’t an addict and for him it’s as easy as saying no. His mind doesn’t obsess and lie to itself, whereas mine does. Either way I’m soo proud myself (and of him also!). But it’s interesting how he basically thinks I have done nothing this entire time to get myself clean. It’s been hard effin work. Amd I’m still healing and learning and recovering. But im grateful that he is happy to be on this journey also 
We all see and understand how hard u work! You are doing great! 
You’re doing a great job and I’m happy that you’re coming home to somebody who is not using something. It would be very hard for you otherwise.
It reminds me of when people tell me “well just have one cookie”. I don’t savvy that part. Intellectually I do. In practice most likely I wouldn’t. “Have self control, just eat one”.
Even diet books will talk about having 1/2 of an ice cream cone or something. They don’t get it either.
As far as him saying you haven’t even been to any meetings that may be the fact.
You have had support. You didn’t do it totally and solely all by yourself because you have us here helping you… Realizing too that it’s always up to the individual to stay sober …
I think you’ve done a fantastic wonderful job and I know that it’s hard for you every day. I’m proud of you for each day that you have stayed clean and it’s good to see you happy with yourself that way too.
It’s fucking hard work. Everyday. It’s worth it. You’re doing amazing. You inspire me❤️
#Day 1442 
Back home!
Yesterday evening around ten we arrived back home. Tired from traveling. Strange to be in Istanbul in the morning and in the Netherlands in the evening. It’s nice to understand what people around me are saying again 
Today? A bit of chill time and doing laundry and some housechores. And between that eating the baklava we bought in Turkey before we left 
Thanks for sharing your most unique pictures of your trip Claudia. This one in particular is quite amazing. 
I’ll have to Google that one.
Nope. We definitely do not need alcohol to be on vacation. Pretty freeing decision. I bet that baklava was worth it. Glad your back safe at home.
Thank you Eric, glad to be home safely as well because I’m not a hero with flying 
I had one flight at monday and 2 yesterday.
But I survived 
And about the Basilica, it was easy to make good pictures there. Just find a way to get as least people on the picture as possible (because it was crowdy and so many people are making their Instagram pictures. They are posing everywhere 
).
And there is great art in the Basilica as well.
Day 4.
Hello world. 
@SoberWalker what a haunting photograph Claudia, I 
it! Pleased you enjoyed your hols.
My wife comes back from her breakaway today so I’m going to get really working in the garden so that it looks like I’ve been busy the last 3 days instead of being horizontal on the sofa. 
.
@Butterflymoonwoman you keep on girl we all know how hard you work at sobriety 
@Miranda we are all glad your sober you had a testing day and worked through it.
@Mno glad your giving your legs a rest today. The thought of geese mugging you puts a smile on my face 
in a nice way.
My days are passing by slower this week which is good for me, I’m really enjoying recharging my body doing more sedate activities is having a positive impact on my mind too. I’m not missing the pub at all .
I had 20+ beers in my fridge which I passed over to my neighbour yesterday and that space that’s left will be full of healthy food today. Beer I dont need healthy food I do.
@BrianP 129 nice work mate, steady on that ankle
Hope you all enjoy your day today. Just noticed I’m 84days without smoking! That’s a good feeling.
8 days in the bag.
Survived the long weekend with my parents.
Back to the office today.
Hoping work will distract me and today won’t be so hard.
Let’s go.
Nice work on 8 days brother!
Started the day with a bowl of oatmeal and yogurt. That’ll cure just about anything, right?! 
I’m in familiar territory- the honeymoon phase if getting back on track by eating right, exercising and drinking water by the gallon. My dedication tends to wane after a few days or sometimes a few weeks.
But I’m focusing on today. And today, I’m a non-drinker.
Day 79, I’m realizing more day by day, alcohol made me a ‘me monster’, “I, I, I, me, me, ME!!!” LoL I remember this from a stand up comedy, Brian Regan goes on to say beware the Me monster!!! It’s funny, but the truth remains. We listen to reply. And that’s something I need to work on.
Day 810 clean and sober today. Didn’t sleep well at all last night lots of racing thoughts that wouldn’t go away. Today is my Monday and I’m not looking forward to going to work though I’m grateful to have a job. Another kid OD’d the other night on campus but was brought back with naracan and survived. Being around addiction and the overdoses is really starting to wear on me I think as it’s a constant reminder of Corey. I was a plumber for 20+ years and cannot go back to my trade due to physical back issues or I really believe I would. The thing that sucks is I really don’t know how to do anything else other then my old trade that I can’t do anymore so I’m finding myself trapped without any options that I can see yet. I had visions of moving to Europe and working my way across the country for room and board lol, that would be quite an adventure. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys and am super proud of all of you!!! 
