Very nice Menno!!! Yeah I love how smooth the ride is, definitely a lot smoother than other jeeps I’ve ridden in before. 
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I’m so glad you had a great weekend!! Nature always makes me feel better too!
Congrats on your car!
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Thanks
I’ve had that very blunt conversation with my son too. I’m just concern with him not seeing beyond this girl at the moment. I want him to be able to truly experience being a teen and I feel that this whole being in a “relationship” both for him and her is not fully allowing them to live their normal high school years. I guess just like everything I must let it run it’s course.
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We had a meeting with her parents as well but I got the sense we where there as if to officially be like ok their together for me the meeting was to address their wrong doing and to ask her parents to be more vigilant of their daughter which has not been the case. Hopefully being with all new peers helps my son out of his head and out of his “love”.
I mean I remember my teen years but these two swear they will get married 
.
Lost of prayers in deed in my end.
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Sounds pretty familiar. My teen years were different. I grew up in a very small town so dating just seemed weird because everyone dated everyone. I always took a date to athletic banquets and homecoming but never dated dated. And because I wasn’t tied to someone my high school years were a blast. Then in college I made the decision that until I knew I could support a child I would refrain. I saw too many kids grow up fatherless and eventhough I knew I wouldn’t abandon a child I made it my pledge to make sure I was stable first.
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Very mature of you at the time.
I can only hope that my son hits some of this maturity too.
I guess at this point only time will tell.
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Day 186
Well, try to make it positive. One day left and then i dont have to go back in. I have a date to meet with my sister and do some work - she has classwork and i have my resume.
Then either friday or saturday im going to get some writing work done at the place i like. I have a lot to work with, but I need to refine it.
Last night I wound up not tidying, and instead drinking 3 cups of coffee at 10-11pm and stress painting. Then I got up at 6 and lifted heavy objects until 330. Its hard to motivate to do anything now. Even though I need to cook dinner and tidy for 30min to make up for yesterday.
sigh
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Checking in again
The talk went really well, glad i spent a lot of time thinking about how to approach it.
Tw- eating disorders
My restrict & binge combo eating disorder is in full swing, really active & I’m struggling to control it right now. It’s in the “secret & private binges” mode where i heavily restrict around others then finally just go unhinged. My therapist says since it was my very first original addiction (we’ve been trying to work though but irl is still hard), it’s filling the cope & comfort neuropathways in the ol’ brain, which makes perfect sense.
The problem is, can’t live without food, can’t cold turkey it (tried, trust me. Got found out) and it’s like every other addiction.
I can’t tell myself I will get rid of my eating disorder and live without it someday, I’m just at a point where I need to learn to live with the fact that I’ll always have a strained relationship with food, and cope with how to rearrange patterns to function better.
Also have to continue to deal with behind the scenes emotional baggage propelling it, which is honestly becoming a lot harder than the original addictions I came here to let go of
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Evening check-in
After spending a few more hours reading and making notes, I’m finally starting to understand how my study works. I’m planning to finish reading all the explanatory documents to fully understand all of what this study entails; figure out what I have to catch up on; figure out what I still need to do to make sure I don’t fall behind again; find out all of the deadlines and lastly, put all of what I’ve found in a calendar.
I also found a file listing the competencies needed to finish the course. Turns out I’m terribly incompetent 
All joking aside, it was a very depressing read at first. I have grown tons over the last few years, but that list makes it seem like I don’t have my stuff sorted at all.
Changing perspective, however, helped a ton! Instead of looking at all my flaws now, I will instead focus on my amazing future after learning a ton of those competencies. Perspective is one very helpful tool.
I am tired, my head cannot deal with any more information. I’m satisfied 
Goodnight y’all
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Having an addiction you simply can’t quit is a fun realisation eh 
My problem is with technology. There have been tons of relapses. Tons of frustration. Tons of hating myself.
What worked for me has been dealing with that good ole emotional baggage. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It will tear you down.
A year ago I’d wanna die whenever I watched Netflix and relapsed. For the last 3 months, I’ve watched a lot of Netflix and crossed a ton of my boundaries without getting truly angry with myself. That might have been a bit too forgiving though. But I accomplished that by dealing with the baggage. And with the shrinking of the baggage, so did the cravings.
It’s good to read you’ve already taken the baggage step. Keep up the good work and good luck 
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I really can empathise. Tw disordered eating
I had a terrible two weeks of binging, god knows how much weight I put on, and then a week of restricting to try and ‘make up’. I hate the lying and sneaking around, hiding wrappers, buying food to replace what I ate, or the opposite saying I ate when I didn’t, etc. Not to mention how ill I feel after a binge or when starving. And I am definitely unable to moderate YouTube recently @anon3131847 which has never been my thing, my brain just searching for dopamine where it can find it, I guess. I am trying to ask myself “Is this contributing to the life I want to have?” and think about actively nourishing my body or brain, rather than just mindless consumption.
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Checking in, work is becoming a shit show fast. My boss is quitting. The old boss is trying to poach 2 of my coworkers. The department could easily fall into shambles. Im scared of the unknown and trying to remain positive. idk AA and accepting my alcoholism has given me more perspective and pause. I feel like ill just ride the wave and live life on lifes terms.
Im not going to drink about it. Wish me luck, this will prove to be a rough couple of months!
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Hey, now youre counting down to a week! Youve got this 
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Checking in day 703. Feeling sick, bad head cold. Negative for Covid. Also been having the blues something fierce lately. I offered to be an assistant coach for my kids hockey team. They really need another helper. Anxious about it. I have never coached, and just want a positive experience for the kids. Also I’ve never played hockey, so I feel out of place.
Thanks for listening.
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When people start leaving, it can be scary and unnerving. Please stay confident and maintain a positive mindset. You got this!
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Evening Check in
Day 205
Not much to report honestly. Have a mild headache. Doing laundry for my husband. Feeling okay I guess. Hope everyone is having a good day/night
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Day 20 - feeling encouraged about being sober, but anxious about my current mindset. I went to see my new therapist yesterday and it was ok, not great. She says that she can do EMDR Therapy for me, so I’m hopeful.
Has anyone benefited from EMDR Therapy? Does it work?
I still don’t have my furniture. Supposed to get it in 8-12 days…sigh.
I’m so weary. Looking for some support as God knows I need it now.
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