@michaeljlogan74 Hey man. Looks like we started our journey on the same day. Also day 20. I’ve done EMDR. I found it helpful. Helps put memories in the right place in your mind or something. I did for a pretty serious trauma in my past. Hope it works out for you!
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Omg i did emdr to process my rape and ptsd. The therapist used a light bar and oscillating music. Amazing stuff! Im excited for you!! Swear by emdr
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Hi @HeyImKris, let’s stay strong for each other ok? I’m glad that you found EMDR Therapy helpful, makes me feel confident in the approach.
20-days brother!
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I know how hard this can be. I followed the same pattern for a long time. ED was my first “addiction” also. I do believe I’ve recovered from that and I really enjoy my relationship with food now. I did have special councelling for my ED many many years ago, for a good couple of years. It is possible to move on from this also. I’m thinking of you💜
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Sorry you’re sick. My first two tests for covid were negative and then 3rd day after feeling sick I tested positive. I hope yours is just a cold and you get better soon♥️
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Almost on day 7🙂. It’s 8 pm here and I’m good.
Grateful I did not drink tonight although it crossed my mind briefly earlier in the day. I had a hair appointment until 6:30 pm so that helped keep me busy and when I came home I started making dinner right away. Thinking of you all.
Reading a couple of posts here about struggles with disordered eating made me feel sad because I know this feelings far too well, but that was many many years ago and I love my relationship with food now. In that sense, it also made me realize that recovery from alcohol addiction is also possible. Sometimes I feel like this alcoholic voice will always be THIS loud, and the addiction so strong, but I know recovery is possible♥️
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My mum is starting EMDR therapy soon for the same reasons, she isn’t very open to any other support but she is going for this one, and i really hope that helps her so much. Its really nice to read it helped you alot 
@Miranda another day Wow!! Your really doing this, im so proud to pop on here at 4:30am as i have woken up and see this. I truly am so happy for you. That feeling you feel in morning of being proud of yourself when you wake up sober keep hold of that feeling and carry it around with you for the whole day, you deserve it
@michaeljlogan74 I cant wait for you and your son to have your furniture, your doing amazing. Your staying sober through this so it will only get easier my friend I hope the EMDR therapy helps you too. Its great your therapist is suggesting ways to help you instead of just taking your money and letting you talk.
Keep your head up high your doing amazing.
@Butterflymoonwoman Thats amazing you made the bar and weights works so well. Dont be so hard on yourself, your in the gym and your trying. Give it a little time an your be back in full swing. I had a challenge yesterday oh boy! I am a brown belt 3 in karate from years ago and i went to a boxing class and wow i was so crap at it, i felt disheartened and like how can i have not been good ? Well luckily i love a good challenge so il keep going back. The swim after as always was great as i can go at my pace and its actually really relaxing for me. But i felt so deflated, maybe even like looking at my body like wtf how can i not do this. And my boxing partner told me just keep going at it, it clicks after a few sessions. So dont give up and dont feel bad, you showed up and you did what you could, we can only get better by showing up and that in itself is the start. My boxing partner who i just met in the session told me to be kind to myself and i stopped and thought hold on … i always say that but never to myself. So lets be kind to ourselves.
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Thanks yeah yesterday was weird. Really butted heads w my youngest and it brought up a lot of old feelings from my dad and all. You know I’m 41 he’s 80 and I still don’t fully feel comfortable being around the guy. I mean I didn’t give my son a “physical corrective action” or anything, but it felt pretty dysfunctionally familiar. It felt like either a fail or the most painful narrow win ever. Either way I was very upset by the end of the night even though my wife reassured me he was way out of line, not me and after jujistu before they went to sleep we hugged it out and he appologized and we talked.
You know it wasn’t the insolence or the argument that even really upset me it’s the fact that I see so much of myself in him that it scares me and there’s way more my father in me then I am comfortable with. I just felt like i was on a generational ferris wheel and i do not enjoy that ride so much. The idea of fate dominating over will being presented with conviction was at the forefront in my mind and as someone who gravitates towards existentialism this idea was pretty upsetting (I generally believe in the power of will much more than fate if for no other reason because it makes me more comfortable regardless of whether or not it’s true). Ultimately I believe that consciousness is the deciding factor between fate and will I believe that’s also why that is the Cornerstone of recovery is consciously admitting there is a problem. Without that there is only fate and seeming chaos.
I struggled to find something to be thankful for in that mindset last night until i thought of all my flaws and addictions and weaknesses. Being thankful for them doesnt feel right, but idk i feel like theres something there. Perhaps all the work i do because of my dharma i can help people i care about. Then perhaps i should be thankful for my addictions? Niche had syphilis and had tremedous pain in his life, but even before he went mad he was thankful for his suffering. I still dont fully understand but as we grunt running up a hill or cry giving tough love to someone of value perhaps those sufferings too are gifts? For if its only through discomfort we grow and the determination of life is a manifestation of a higher power then perhaps we (those in recovery) are lucky people after all.
Lol sorry for such a long response to a simple question, but ive never been known for brevity. Thank you for checking in with me though.
Today is day 1282 free from alcohol and day 14 free from any other drugs. (See now that is an easy thing to be thankful for!! 
)
Take care
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Kevin is this you? Have you changed your pic ? I get really confused when people change there pics. Its great to see you here 
if not its great to meet you.
I think as parents when we have to tell the kids off it doesnt feel good, especially if its something that doesnt happen often. My sons 20 now. I hate any kind of atmosphere and think peace in the home is essential but sometimes kids rock that out of place, and it doesnt feel good. But its our job to correct them and i used to hate the odd atmosphere of telling them off. But its great you all went to bed with the situation resolved and hugged it out.
I held a family meeting when we needed to resolve stuff, the kids would pull a face like oh gosh what have i done 
but i always say never go to sleep without all being okay and resolving the situation, dont carry it through to the next day unless or course it is something that wont work like that.
Dont let it get you down
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1188
Just made coffee to take on my train trip to my therapist. Busy day, therapist, experiential expertise course, a meeting with my old friend to talk about some conflict we recently had (sigh). That’s my Thursday off.
Well. I’m doing stuff and most of it is useful too. I’m sober and clean. It’s the only way for me to a happier better life and I’m on my road of discovery doing just that. As it is for all of us or we wouldn’t be here. One day at a time. Have as good a days as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from my place. Finally some rain. Maybe autumn has started.
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#Day 1450 
Having the day off. Have an appointment this morning for another laser session to get rid of an tattoo. It takes like forever to get rid of it 
It’s a recent tattoo but the artist who made it fu**ed it up. So the tattooshop pays for the laser sessions (thank God, because I need many and it’s very expensive!).
I think I need at least untill may ore so next year untill it’s faded enough to get a proper tattoo over it. In this case I also use the on day at a time otherwise it gives me irritation and sadness about how my arm looks since february this year 
Venting helps. And believe me I’m also very happy that the tattooshops helps me out on this. Good service, but laser sessions are painfull as well and it take so much sessions to get rid of the ink.
Note to self:
“Patient Claudia…let’s be patient and gratefull” 
Picture from 2 weeks ago Cappadocia, Turkey.
I loved it there!
Have to hurry now! Gonna get dressed because have my appointment within 1 houre and have to bike to it!
Bye!!
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Good morning from a very wet North East of England.
I am on strike for 2 days over pay and conditions. So that gives me time to catch up here and also to get the old exercise matt back out. I tried the push up challenge on here and was disappointed with the results. It was a much needed wake up call if nothing else.
A starting point. So ive downloaded the 6 week chalange app. I had it a few years ago and it helped a great deal. This body will be aching tomorrow.
Slow and steady …
Hope you all have a good day and enjoy what your doing. 
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Checking in on day 454 toward the end of a very busy week. The kids went back to school this week and it has been a flurry of juggling school, daycare, soccer games, etc. My seven-year-old had a nuclear meltdown yesterday because she didn’t get pizza for lunch and did not want to walk up the hill (we live on a hill just above her school). Children are really the ultimate test of patience. 
I am hoping that today is smoother.
Another work trip has snuck up on me, and I just realized that I am leaving tomorrow. I have had plenty of practice traveling, so I am not concerned about that. However there is a big social drinking culture among colleagues I will be meeting with, and I realize that I am going to need a firm plan for protecting my sobriety.
Congratulations on all the milestones recently. I am sorry that I have not been able to keep up. Have a safe and happy Thursday, friends.
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Hey all, checking in on day 816. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 100 much love
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Congrats on the triple digits mike!
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Hell yeah Mike congratulations!!! 
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Day 818 clean and sober. I hope everyone has a fantastic day today, love you guys!!!
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