Checking in
Day 207
It has been an awful night. Its currently 150am here and my son was taken to emergency by an ambulance. My husband and I were doing his monthly tracheostomy change and when couldnt get the new trach in. Panic set in bcuz this helps him breathe and i couldnt get it in and there was blood everywhere. I went with my son in the ambulance and got to the emergency. He was doing somewhat well with his stats surprisngly without having a trach so they thought they could maybe put him on a cpap or a bipap to regulate his breathing (he is normally on a ventilator at night). The hole in his neck closed up so there was no way for me to suction him and his lungs were soo gurggly from whatever was in them that needed to be suctioned out. Anyway i wasnt having it. It was 1130 and nothing was happening. I couldnt keep my son awake any longer while we wait for a machine or some answers about what was happening. I started getting very firm sbout needing answers and expressing how serious this is. Shortly after i get notified that they will be taking my son into the operating room to intubate him and then take a look with a scope down his throat and then place the trach back in. Hes in there now and will be coming back soon. Im exhausted but grateful for my voice and for my ability to advocate for my son. I needed people to listen and even the social worker here said i did really well advocating for him. I meed therapy for sure for my sons medical stuff. I already had ptsd before my son was born, and i definitly have medical ptsd also. Hes coming back in like 2 min so ill uodate u all later. Just needed to talk
Big hugs for you Dana and for your son. Please post how heās doing. And how youāre doing. How scary and traumatic for all of you. Thoughts.
@BrianP have a good day and congratulations to your daughter. Itās good to see you posting. Hugs.
Omg, how awful! So glad you could voice your concerns and your sonās needs. Please keep us posted how he is doing. 
Have said a prayer for your son.
I hope everything is okay.
You did the right thing, try and stay calm while his in there. I am thinking of you very much.
Hey all, checking in on day 817. I hope everybody has a good one!
Youāre an amazing Mom and an amazing woman Dana!!! I hope all went well and that heās doing better now!!!
Day 819 clean and sober. Really strong winds woke me up this morning so I went outside and had my coffee. I love storms and rumor has it that we might get some much needed rain yay!!! I hope everyone has an awesome day today, love you guys!!! 
Happy Birthday to you! 
Day 101. Hey fam, doing ok. I picked up a tiny bit of work from a lady who rents apartment, it went from just cleaning to paintint her whole apartment. I just canāt wait for it to be done bc itās really messing with some of my schedule for groups. Iām not supposed to be working working for a while but I didnāt think some extra small cash would hurt. As usual I told on myself and was honest yesterday to counselor bc I donāt like feeling sneeky. She didnāt seem upset, she said If itās not pushing me towards a relapse then do it. So Iām gonna finish and not do this again for a little, anyways much love
Hey Dana, that sounds absolutely terrifying. I cannot imagine how stressful this is. I hope everything went well and your son is doing better. You are so strong!
How scaryā¦ I couldnāt even imagine handling that situation. I sure hope and pray everything turned out good. Youāre in my thoughts
One month! Congratulations! 
Oh my lord Dana that is terrifying. I am so sorry to hear about that - it must have been terrible. Iām glad heās ok now. I am thinking of you guys.
Day 70!!! I havenāt gone this many days without alcohol in close to 20 years! Life is already changing for the good and I feel healthy and alive!! Iām so very grateful for all the support that has gotten me this farā¦.but Iām still focused on staying sober today. Just for today. 
That is annoying. Sorry to read that. 
Checking in, Day 592. My parents came to visit yesterday. Long story, but my brother has always struggled with alcohol, and yesterday my mom let me know that he had a big blow out with his wife about it. His wife doesnāt understand the addict mentality and doesnāt understand why he canāt just quit. I explained that HE has to be the one that wants to quit, for himself and not for anyone elseā¦ Which led into my wife and I having a long discussion, after my parents left. I ended up making amends to my wife for everything I could think of that I did while in my addiction for the last 17 years of our marriage. It was an eye opening experience, but a much needed talk at the same time.
@Butterflymoonwoman i am soo soo sorry you had to go through that health scare with your son. I hope you all are resting now
Benzos are really bad. It took me 1 1/2 weeks during detox just to get them out of my urine.
Checling in
Day 207
@Mephistopheles @Alisa @Misokatsu @Twizzlers @Piglet86 @Rockstar24777 @icebear @Dan531 and everyone else who is thinking of my boy.
Thank u all so much! 
The love and support i felt from u all really brightened my morning. I am sooo grateful to be clean and sober and to have been able to tackle this emergency with my son with a clear mind. Last post i wrote was him in the operating room. He does have his trach in now. They were able to laser remove the tissue that was causing the block. So thats not an issue now. He is off sedatives and is slowly beginning to wake up. He will be sore around his neck but he is getting tylenol for that. I am grateful to God for watching over him and getting all these people to come here in the early morning to do this surgery. Im grateful for my voice and being able to advocate for him. Even tho i was emotionally heightened, i was able to keep my cool to an extent l (I did apologize to the 2 drs that I saw tho bcuz i was very straightforward and firm with them i guess. I may have come across as rude idk. I was obviously upset and i cried and was emotionally distraught. But i did apologize to them anyway and cleared the air). And im grateful for my husband who told me he was proud of me and that i did a great job getting him what he needs. Anyway, hes resting now. I finally ate something and am having a coffee sitting next to him. Im really glad u guys are all here. Love u TS fam! U truly all are like family to me and i really appreciate that ur here 
thats freakin scary! Sounds like you did everything right. I hope staff was receptive to your needs and requests (as an er nurse i know how some nurses/docs can be!) Ill keep you and your son in my evening prayers as well as those caring for you both. Looking forward to seeing good news as heās stabilized and you get some relief.