I was choked up reading that, 
I’m excited for you to start your lessons. Even if you don’t make it to Carnegie Hall it’s a piece of puzzle for your soul. Hugs, sweetie
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Im so glad he is out of surgery and is okay 
Have been thinking of you both.
Im glad you have eaten something all i can advise is maybe get some rest when your son does, as i think your really good at taking care of his needs and dont really need advice just maybe some friendly support for yourself. Im here for you 
anytime day or night.
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Im sorry you had to go through that as a child. I cant even imagine being an adult and being told that about my underwear let alone a young girl
.
About the piano, you will be great every one has their own style and technique and you will find yours. I used to play the piano and i think what i got out of it most was that i enjoyed it even if to others what i was playing sounded like nothing to me it did and its so fun. Im glad you have taken a step to do something you have always wanted to im so sure you will get enjoyment and it will be therapeutic too im sure 
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@Butterflymoonwoman
@DLS
@Twizzlers
Thank you so much for your encouragement! It feels like a big thing. Yes, taking back my power 
that’s how it feels
Thanks so much 
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This must be very difficult. You do have to ignore them, at the end of the day you have pulled yourself up from what sounds like a mental health crisis where those should be supporting you even now after 3 weeks.
Hold your head up high very high, in the end these people doing this will look bad, im sure many people will be looking more at their intentions than be slaundering you for your suffering.
Either way keep in mind this time will pass, just stay focused and stay sober. You mention its affecting your kids, depending on their ages maybe speak to them if you feel it is necessary.
Its so sad to think when a person needs help and is at a point where they need support people do the opposite.
Hopefully the majority will understand your experience, someone will tell them to stop. It shows more of how much of a low human being they are and people should see this.
Live your life, and try to pay no attention to it, concentrate on yourself because your doing well.
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Well first off you should never feel bad about advocating for those you love. I do sympathize for both parties as I know what it’s like when things are requested that I frankly cannot provide due to ridiculous, borderline dangerous staff shortages and/or the standard operating procedures in which we operate. I know what it’s like being in over my head having to put on game face and do the best I can. It sucks and Healthcare is never been as bad as it is right now. I’ve been in emergency medicine for about 20 years and right now everyone’s hurting more than they ever had. Again you weren’t wrong for advocating but there are a lot of pressures that an acute care nurse has to navigate and some of us are better at doing it than others. Like you said at the end of the day if we can get everything done and everybody lives and no long-term harm is done then that’s a win… and as shitty as some wins look (and nowadays most wins don’t look that pretty) we’re just grateful for what we have. Im grateful things are looking better for your child.
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Wow. That’s so scary, not being able to breath properly. I’m glad you had strength and clarity to be there for your son.
If you can, please show yourself some grace and care too. You went through a ringer there. Sending you hugs and prayers!
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That’s terrible how you were treated. Makes me heart weep. I hope you find healing as you work on your recovery 
Enjoy your piano lessons!
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Hello friends. I’m at the airport about to leave on a work trip and I am suddenly getting really anxious. There is a big drinking culture among some colleagues I’ll be seeing (some for the first time since covid). I’m not sure I’m ready to admit my problem to them, and frankly I am worried that being “out” as an alcoholic would be very damaging to my career.
I want to protect my sobriety at all costs, and I feel kind of disingenuous having these kinds of feelings. Nevertheless, I am trying to come up with some responses when the inevitable invite for drinks comes.
I know that it’s kind of silly and selfish, but it’s got me all jittery this afternoon, and I just needed to get it off my chest. Phew.
Anyway 455 days alcohol free. And I had a yummy smoothie from Smoothie King so I got that goin for me.
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Relax, take a few deep breaths
You can get through this, and when you do you will have re wired part of your brain making cravings and temptation easier to get through.
Have a plan for yourself decide seriously, if i was in your situation this would be my thought process;
- Do i really want to stay sober ?
Be honest with myself and ask myself realistically if my plan so far is really going to work or am i fooling myself?
What do i realistically need to put it in place to make this work.
To be honest, to a person who doesnt have problems with alcohol like us it is normal to say im not drinking tonight i dont fancy it, or iv got to be up early and most people dont give it too much thought. So its okay to just say that.
If you feel you need something to say you could use your on antibiotics for a tooth or something if that helps.
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Maybe say you got on a health kick since lock down and decided you liked it! “Haven’t thought of a drink in forever!”
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Checkin in day 136. Have a good one!
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Checking in clean and serene. Got through another stressful day at work. I feel like I am always going … also, I am going to an NA convention with my sponsor so I am grateful. I have a lot going on emotionally and mentally. My boyfriend gets out of prison in like 100 days. I am stressed, anxious and excited about that. I also have some spiritual stuff going on… I am meeting w a priest at another church that I haven’t been to on Tuesday to be prayed over … I am a little scared about it but I know I am going to be ok. I would appreciate any prayers I can get. Thank you . I am grateful to be here and for this platform
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Checking in
Day 207
We are going home!!! Im beyond blessed to be heading home. Everything really fell into place today for my son. Thank u to everyone that was so kind and helpful to my sons scary situation. His trach site looks sooo much better and hes back to his old self basically 
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I have a friend who just says “I can’t drink cause I’m on a cleanse” and that is usually enough reason for people. Not sure if that would work for you but it’s not a lie. You’re just on a cleanse forever. Lol. People are used to hearing that reason these days for health or cutting out sugar or booze or whatever so she doesn’t really get many questions about it
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Howdy! Thought I might as well fall in behind my sober twin CC at 664 days!
Good day today. I was crushing it at work…started a new project with some fun coding for a change.
I was working from home today and at lunch I was cleaning up the kitchen and picking up around the house. Trying to get rid of those things that dont bring joy ya know like the marie kondo thing. So looking in the kitchen cabinets…all those wine glasses, beer glasses, a few martini glasses…don’t need those anymore! So out they went.
Feels good to let those things that do not bring joy go.
After work I got some pizza and planned out the weekend a bit. It is going to be much cooler here this weekend and i’m thinking it will be perfect hiking weather…maybe a bit wet but I don’t mind that.
Have a nice weekend all, where ever you may be!
Bye for now…
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Way to go on throwijf out the wine and beer glasses!! Sounds like ur being productive and staying on track! Way to go!
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Evening Check In
Day 207
Feels so good to be home right now. Everything feels so much better now that things are back to normal.
My eating wasnt great today (understandably). But im not allowing myself to feel defeated with that all or nothing attitude. I will start back on track tmrw. One day of off eating and no exercise isnt the end of the world.
I have the day off tmrw from work but do work sunday. So i am doing some running around tmrw. That will be nice.
I am exhausted and already ready for bed.
Hope everyone has been doing well 
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@HeyImKris I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know it is awful now, but people have short memories, and time will give some perspective, I believe. The right people will understand you were struggling. Those that don’t understand, don’t understand, so don’t worry about them.
@Hayleylujah That’s awful that your foster mum would make you feel even more dirty (when you aren’t at all) by doing that. Anyone with a lick of sense would know that is totally wrong. Rock those piano lessons! Or jazz them, or classical them. Whatever is your groove.
@icebear You don’t need to explain if you don’t want to. I don’t have to explain why I have a certain salad dressing, I don’t have to explain why I don’t have a certain beverage.
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