Out for a late lunch… Husband orders beer…I look at the drink menu. I put it down. I order a mint tea:clap:
Still battling a little in my mind, but it’s NOT an option.
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Good for you Miranda.
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I’m looking forward to my tuna sushi bowl and this mint tea is delicious!
Thank you Eric♥️
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Thank you 
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Love mint tea! And glad they have it on the menu! Hate places where the soft drink options are cola or orange juice only.
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That touched my heart. Thank you for sharing your day and doing g the work you do
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Day 175 again.
I found a roach in my bathroom! Of course a few hours after i deep cleaned it. The 2nd ive seen in the month ive lived here. Its still in there…need to get peppermint oil and traps before this gets out of hand. Maybe move my cat food n litter.
Grateful I have a day off again tomorrow. Need to cook mushrooms.
A lot of empty bad feelings and empty time. Honestly would love to fill it with a bottle of wine and some crispy snack. But no, i actually fear losing control like that. Like i did in college! I always needed to be sober for a bit before getting drunk or stoned again. How did i go into addiction. Idk. I hate this. 
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Day 16 check in
Changed my mind a decided to attend this wedding. Just got here. Plan on keeping is sober free. Wish me luck! I will keep y’all in my pocket!
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Keep your own NA drink in your hand all the time so no one offers you a drink. Have an escape plan even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes to regroup and check in here if you like.
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Thank you. I needed to hear that.
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I’m glad to hear your feeling bit better, I cant imagine how it feels for you but I can try to cheer you up be around to talk to. I havent been on all day so missed this post earlier. it’s nice to see others where there for you.
Sleeping can help our mind reset from from feeling low and all not nice. I also do this. I also wake up in the night and do a meditation to fall back to sleep. It’s all good when all these things work so I’m glad they did for you.
Sorry I hadnt been around.
I do pop on occasionally when I’m busy to see I’d I have any private messages which isnt often but I do still check briefly so if you ever need me
Iv just jumped into bed going to do an 8 hrs sleep meditation- I usually fall asleep within the first hour. Glad your feeling better.
Have a great rest of the evening ( not sure what time it is where you are here its 2:20am)
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You’re so freaking awesome @Twizzlers thank you so much for your kindness!!! I appreciate you very much and hope your meditation goes really well, it’s 7:00pm here where I’m at. Sweet dreams and sleep well!!!
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Day 179 of no self harm.
Typical Saturday. Feeling like shit. It hurts to see everyone make plans and never be invited. Everyone’s so happy and having fun and then when I try to join a conversation the mood dies. My (not) favorite part of the day was when I was talking about how it’s hard to lift up kids at work and my uncle went “maybe you should lose some weight”
My best friend is offering to hang out to get my mind off of it but I just want to lay here and be upset.
I’m eating so much with work. I suppose 2 meals a day isn’t a lot but it is for me. And I really can’t get by without eating during work. I will faint. But now I don’t want to eat on weekends. My eating disorder feels so out of my control right now. I have to eat at work so I don’t feel guilty when I’m eating at work but anything outside of work I want to restrict
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Man, I can’t believe how much coming back to Tupper puts me in a funk. I’m glad to be here with my girls, but I don’t like being here anymore. I already want to go back to Plattsburgh
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How long are you there?
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We’re leaving tomorrow to go camping. I’ll be back in Plattsburgh Monday. I’ll be living in Plattsburgh for the next 6 months probably, I just don’t feel good when I’m in tupper it makes me feel bad for my girls
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Oh I’m sorry. You don’t have to say, because you may have already and I might have missed it, but why does it make you feel bad for your girls?
Day 315 AF
Went to my friend’s son’s bday party today. It was pretty chill.
Just got back from a long walk. I needed a breather.
Another sober weekend. Gotta keep pushin.
Have a goodnight, fam!
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