This is exactly what I had been feeling for almost all of my life. I relate and understand where you’re coming from 100%. These feelings have gotten fewer and farther apart the longer I’ve stayed clean and sober but they still come and it’s debilitating. I’m really proud of you for reaching out to us that is a giant step in the recovery process!!! I’ve found that by letting things out and sharing what’s going on in my head with everyone here that it makes things a lot easier to bear. I’m glad you reached out and I’m here if you want to talk 
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Day 258. Joined a running club a couple of weeks ago and it’s helped me so much! I love the commitment and challenges it gives me. Most of all I love how I’m around good people, doing something that’s mentally and physically good for you, and it’s nothing to do with drink! All my life every social situation has been the same, something that involves drink! Now I’ve got an escape I enjoy 
I wanted to share this to help somebody else who may be struggling with sober social scenes. My social scene went from massive to nothing when I gave up drink and it upset me, but this has gave me some social life back without sacrificing sobriety.
I have my first 10k race Sunday! Did a 10k run in 45 mins this morning (nearly killed me) but hoping to beat it Sunday 
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We will blame my phone for that one and not my sucking at names, but yeah. Every day its a great check in
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Hey way to go mt friend!!! So super proud of you!!! Ur almost there to a year!! Odatt!!
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Midday check in
Day 214
My son is home today from school due to a cold 
thankfully it doesnt seem too serious 
. I always get overly cautious with illness bcuz it usually requires a hospital visit and we were just there last week for trach issues. Thankfully he doesnt have a fever. Just a runny nose. I gave him some tylenol to help with the uncomfortable sick feeling. Cuddling with my boy today. Not much else going on. Hope everyone is having a good day!
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Happy Friday! Have an amazing day my friends!
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Day 37 free from toxic on.off shity pseudo friendship plus thing
His number is again on the blocked calls list 
Worrying if he is okay 
No…
No no no…
Don’t unblock
Don’t get back
He is not nice to you
He is addicted to alcohol
He is using cocaine
He is cold
But I am thinking about it
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Hi I’m just checking in. It’s been awhile since I last checked in. I’m at 19 days and I’m really struggling today. Part of the reason I haven’t been checking in is because my husband came home from being out of town for work for 6 months and fell down in the driveway and broke his ankle. It’s been constant stress. And today I found out he can no longer help me buy a new car. My current vehicle is old and started stalling in the middle of intersections while driving. I’m feeling very defeated and overwhelmed and like I just want to disappear into nothingness.
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I’m sorry you’re having such a bad run. Life can tough at times but those times are temporary. Using will not help anything, it’ll only make things worse. The best move you can make is staying sober today. Keep doing the next right thing and it’ll turn around for you. We’re all here for you.
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…1638…absolutely craptastic day. One that tests the boundaries of soberiety…i am fine and in no way going to drink. However…went back to the basics.
- kept my hands busy…started rebuilding this piece of junk
- talked to some other recovered drunks and vented a bit
- about to open up my recovery dharma book
- came on here and vented a bit
Use your toolkit, even when you know you wont drink…
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Checking in
Day 214
Ita been a very medical kind of day. Lots of medical care for my son. Sickness really effects him more so than the average child I would say due to his medical condition. Something mild can be very drastic for him. Anyway, I am soo grateful that I am FULLY present to be here for him, to cuddle him, to take care of his medical needs so that he can quickly get back to health. Im grateful for my recovery, probably more so now than ever. That i can love him and be completely here for him 100% of the time, is a gift of recovery. Thankfully his temp has not increased much and if we can manage this cold at home, then we wont need to stay in hospital. Praying for a good few days of healing!
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You’re such a good mom to him, what a great reason to be sober 
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I’m glad you are here and I hope you can check in a lot. I can relate to “feeling crazy”. You’re not. You’re human. Not everybody experiences so much, not everybody feels so deeply, and some people have to work harder at being happy. I think I’m a “super feeler”. I’m affected deeply by things. This can be difficult, but it can also be a great gift once we learn how to manage things a bit differently. I hope your medication increase starts to help a little. Do you have a councelling or therapy session set up soon?
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I’m glad you can be fully present for your son too.
So proud of you Dana. I’m sending healing thoughts.
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Congratulations on 11 months! 
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Evening Check in
Day 214
I feel overwhelmed, worried, anxious, stressed, sad. I sometimes feel like im going to snap mentally. My sons temp has been increasing. We did give him some more tylenol at around 6pm. I am having a hard time mentally and emotionally. I absolutly dont want to have to go to the hospital with him. If he needs it, i will of course take him but im praying over n over that he start healing and recovering from this immediately. I sometimes cant take this ongoing medical stuff. Its hard. The worry and stress and all the medical care. I hurt for my son and what he has gone thru. I hurt for him at the loss of a normal childhood for him. I am SOOO angry inside and sad at the same time. Im tired. Im exhausted. I need God to help me and help him to get better. Im so tired. Really i am
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I’m praying for you both; hang in there Dana
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I need God sooo bad right now. Im fucking so mad and so scared and so sad. I feel alone and exhausted. I dont want us to have to do this anymore. He doesnt deseve everything hes been thru! Hes such a sweet compassionate boy. Why him? I dont get it. I fucking hate it. I cant stop crying. Im trying my best to compose myself… but this medical stuff with my son is what hurts me THE MOST. My past doesnt even come close to the hurt i feel for my sons situation. Thank u for responding girl. Huge hugs to u. I really need something right now. Ive been begging God to just help him right now
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Thank you Mark! Luv u my friend. Uv always been such a huge support. Hugs! How r u doing?
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We are here for you. Sending positive healing light your way
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