Awe thank u my friend. Luv u lady! Thank u for the support 
Hey girl, you can only do what you can do, you canāt beat yourself up, it makes you less available for who needs you the most right now, and thatās your son,
I know this sounds tough, but remember itās ok to feel, to have faith spiritually or in modern medicine, itās ok to break down
While you may feel upset that your son may not have āa normal childhoodā define normal? What makes him him is what makes him unique,
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When he was diagnosed with his braintumor i was very much mad at God. I understand now tho that God doesnt create the illness and disease in this world. Thats the evil in this world that does that. God helps us get thru our hardships. Gives us strength and hope. Im mad for sure but not at God anymore. I felt my mind sinking into this despair and anger and crying uncontrollably. Im sort of feeling like im kind of getting out of that. Trying to do a gratitude list in my head. Trying to hand this situation to God and trying to gain that inner peace and strength from God. Thank you for words xo i really appreciate the things u said
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I honestly was about to whine a little bit, but it suddenly seems inappropriate. More so than usual. I ended up taking a Seroquel last night. Havenāt needed for a long time. I was asleep until 11:30. 
I my legs were so stiff from yesterdayās walk, it literally hurt to stand up. So, Iām just watching TV (āJohn Dies At The Endā) and looking for something to eat that wonāt turn instantly into more fat.
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Thank you chris, ur absolutely rightā¦ i needed to hear that. Ur right, i need to stay focused and not drift into the past and stay present. I need to be in this moment for my son bcuz he needs me. And ur also right lol on what is normal? God turns our troubles into something good and he is very unique bcuz of his condition. Hes very special and very smart n many ways. And ur also right lol to not judge myself for how i feel. Wow u were very on point with alot of things 
I needed that reality check to bring me back into the now. I appreciate you Chris, thank u!
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Ur situation that is going on is just as important. Im glad u opened up to share whats on ur mind. Seroquil (when i was prescribed it years n years ago) was sooo hard on my sleep and appetite. I used to wake up tho at weird hours to eat lol i feel ur pain on the meds n sleep. I hope u get some rest for ur legs
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Also i apologize to everybody for all the God talk on the thread. I realize that not everyone is into God. And i respect that. I usually use the word Higher Power in this thread and save my God talk for my personal God/HP thread to make things more comfortable in a sense for others who are beginning the journey of a HP. But im just hurting right now and it just came out
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I wish i could totally hug u right now! Lol that felt very comforting to hear
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Eh Iām not a spiritual person, and Iām not, but my thing is Iāll never tell anyone to adapt to my beliefs you have every right. To speak as you will, if your faith in God is what is helping you through this, well then you do you
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I appreciate u saying that I also never try to push my belief on anyone either. My husband is athiest and we obviously have very diff views. Buut pushing a belief on someone actually never works in my opinion. A person comes to terms with their own Higher Power or a lack of HP in their own way. I didnt believe fully amd wholeheartedly in God until last year. It was a very long process to get where i am for what works for me lol anyway, thank u for ur help tonight and ur advice
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15 years in public safety, you just learn how to bring yourself in the moment.
Most people who call 911 arenāt having the best of days, and while their world is falling apart, mine is right in time, itās almost a learned response, you learn to bring people in the moment and have them focus on the end game l
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Day 1 (again) of sobriety just about in the book. I am actually really looking forward to sober sleep. I know tonight may not be the best night but I know sometime within the next few nights Iāll start really sleeping again. Iām actually kind of excited about it. Havenāt even had the slightest urge. In fact Iām pretty mortified and disgusted with the thought of alcohol right now. God bless everyone and thank yāall so much for this site. I canāt wait until I can start knocking off some of these milestone.
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Know what else Iāve come to hate about Seroquel? I feel like I have a hangover when I wake up. Canāt believe I took the stuff every night for more than a year. I spite of that, I still feel like going to bed! Iām sure everything is going to work out for your son and you. Iāve got a good feeling, just hang in there!
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Oh yesā¦ it makes people sooo groggy when they wake up. I gained alot of weight from being on it. Thank u for ur kind words. They really are very soothing and very apprecoated!
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Well ur skills deifnitly came in tonight with me it definitlg helled. Ur good at ur career!
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Im glad ur back giving this another try u deserve a joyous, free, life! Im glad ur thoughts have changed also towards alcohol. Wishing u a good sober rest!
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I feel you, I took seroquel, and I hated it either I slept for 15 hours or I felt like trash, plus the midnight munchies make it worse
My neurologist took me off of it cause he said it can cause it can cause neuro defects
Iād talk to your doctor about alternatives if you can
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You guys are in my prayers tonightā¦I pray for your sons full heeling and that his brain be washed clean of any tumorā¦ Also that mommy get some rest and have peacefulnessā¦ Sorry your day night had to be like this ā¦ It always gets better with a bit of time 
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My box is always open if you need it, or hit me on signal if your out of country and Iām not answering,
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Checking in Day 27! Have a safe and sober friday yāall 
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