Congratulations Eliza 
ODAAT
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Checking in on day 23 of no alcohol.
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Thank u 
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Well i am glad to know your okay 
The pictures are amazing wow !! Il leave you to enjoy your break and yes more pictures when its possible.
Safe travels my friend 
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In between meetings today i went for a walk along the beach
I love being able to work from home and have the sea so close. Tonight i will be sober
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I hope today is a brighter more peacefull day for you. I get a little sad knowing your not okay, you have been through so much and we live so far away i cant even say lets get out for a coffee and talk.
Needing to cry and nothing comes out this has happened to me its such a deep pain inside i couldnt even explain it. I hope you dont feel totally alone i did before i made connections with you all here but in my face to face life i am and its a struggle sometimes and i just want you to know im here with you
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Day 18
Today was better 
Sadly I have to return the shoes I bought Saturday, theyâre already falling apart and I was nervous because I canât find the receipt! Usually you need it to return something. But they do it without, I only wore the shoes 3x.
Had to rush home bc I need the box the shoes came in.
Cross fingers that they have another pair of shoes that fit my strong feet 
Update: they had the same shoes I had to return, those look fantastic
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
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Morning Check in
Day 248
Really feeling pretty good this morning. Sleep really does help. New day, new mood, new opportunities, and new outlook!
After getting my son on the bus, i did a cardio and ab workout. First real cardio session after getting that damn flu like 2 weeks ago. Surprisingly, my stamina wasnt too bad. My abs on the other hand⊠ouch! Anyway, gonna pray and then go grocery shopping. Get some fresh air!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Exactly! Love this
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Noice! One sober week! 
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MAY BE TRIGGERING, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION
Good Morning everyone,
It has been a while since I have been here.
Hadnât been around as I was working out my short lived lapse in judgement.
I was thinking hard on how to proceed.
I made it to the 3 month mark.
just 4 days later I attended a wedding.
I really had no actual desire to drink or felt uneasy around a crowd drinking.
However I did make the choice to drink. I had 1 margarita the entire night.
I did not get drunk and once I finished the one I didnât feel like I needed another.
I did feel bad about drinking it but also felt in a way proud of myself for sticking to the one I had said I would âIfâ I did drink.
The following week I went to a concert and again I had one beer.
There were no cravings but I was with a group that I knew would not be judgmental if I had ONE.
One is all I had.
Didnât feel bad about it and again didnât want more after that one.
The following weekend I went out for lunch with y family and too ordered one.
This however is a tougher crowd.
I could see the annoyance in my SO and my son did make the comment of âI thought you didnât drink anymoreâ
I did not want more and these 3 are the only drinks I did have during that period.
I would say my control over the alcohol was something I was not able to have before.
However during those 3 weeks I kept feeling bad about having broken the long lasting accomplishment I made all those days prior.
I havenât had a single drink since October 1.
I am sad I lost all those prior days but I also learned a lot.
I guess what I was looking to prove to myself is that I am in control and that indeed I am.
I chose to drink and I did but now I am choosing not to.
Happy of the 19 days I now have and I struggle in my own mind asking myself if in fact I lapsed.
Still working on that and working with my HP to come to terms with all of it.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason and the biggest lesson I learned and was very clear was that I donât need alcohol for any reason. Not in a celebratory way, in a mourning way or in a disappointing way.
I hope that everyone is having a great day and hope we can all reach into our deepest selves to stay strong today.
God Bless 
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We all have our own journeys, no two are exactly the same. Good to see you and see youâre doing alright⊠keep on ODAAT
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Day 33. Still here, still af af. 
Going to get my 1 month chip on Friday. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and keep on sobering on.
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Sorry to hear about the shit day. Donât know that it means much but your post have been an inspiration to me on my sober journey. Seeing you post about concerts and such have reminded me that I can have a good time sober. I hope all is well brother. Reach out anytime you feel like it through messages.
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Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement
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Day 89 AF
Day 70 toxfree
Puuuuh⊠Had a real energy draining day at work⊠Too loud, too many egocentric people around me, showing themselfs up.
And many things about my job coach meeting and group therapy yesterday haunting in my head.
Sometimes I think the whole job thing and the whole wish to change the job⊠Itâs all too much for me! But I want to quit as I am not happy anymore and the situation canât be solved. Itâs okay atm as I have some colleagues I can work with in a very professional way, but that doesnât change the whole situation. I canât quit working at all⊠We all need money (more then ever these times). I have to deal with this whole process in a very calm way i think!
Managed to calm down this evening a bit with a walk, warm foot bath, doing nails and face mask 
itâs also a way 
Tomorrow I have my 90 days af⊠Yippie yeah! Will open my gift tomorrow in the morning 
The guy I ended up with 70 days ago tried to call me again this evening (message from block list). Itâs irritating. Thoughts about reconnecting coming up again. I know⊠I knowâŠ
Will give myself some yoga before bedtime and some light dinner with spinach and feta cheese now.
Love you all
Hugs
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day 31
Off to work for a split shift, had a dream last night that i drank, then forgot i had drank and had to ask i did, then droveâŠwoke up suddenly super upset.
The last time i got clean i didnt go through this. Was an interesting sleep thats for sure.
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Feeling a little hopeless right now.
Anxiety and greif is through the roof, its 8pm here in the UK and iv got a small bit of food cooking but the anxiety and emotional hurt is making me feel physically Ill at the thought if eating, i want to go to sleep to temporary get out of reality but if i go to sleep right now il end up awake by midnight feeling even more sad and alone in the middle of the night.
Sorry i just needed to let it out my eyes are filled with tears and this is the only place where i feel people actually care about eachother.
I will be okay in a bit im going to eat a small bit then get into bed and relax but not sleep.
Im feeling fed up when i get this bad inside mentally of trying to speak myself to reason with my situation and tell myswlf its okay when i know its not its exhausting pretending.
Feel like i could call the crisis team or go to the hospital (im not in any danger to myself or others) but they will just throw benzos at me and i already have some i just dont use because after a few hours of taking one they actually make it worse and the feelings last longer so not really much they can do i have to ride it out.
I wish i had some family i could turn to right now, im sorry im releasing this here but i know il feel better just knowing that you all here care and listen and sometimes thats all it takes is to know there are people who have your back and care and listen and understand.
Want to just delete this and not send but im going to send it because i feel so alone right now
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