Thank you!! you need to get past 20 to get to any higher number. And when I started this app I really had no concept of what it would be like going over 6 months. I thought I would cave at some point. And for the first 60 days/90 days I was constantly watching the clock! And i promise time eventually passes.
But this app came into my life concurrently with a certain change of mindset and idk if Id be sober without one or the other. I needed that timer and this forum! But also hit a point where i understood on a deeper level continuing to use and continuing to be a Toxic person would ruin my life in ways beyond my imagination.
I did do the easiest cleaning possible for 15. But am motivated to get home and actually deep clean my room to start the weekend, 3 days off after 5p!!
You are persevering despite an unsupportive partner which is so much harder! But it does get easier to dismiss the urge to use with time, even though life doesnt necessarily get easier like it hasnt for me. And im rooting for you, I do get happy when you get past challenging moments.
You are not alone. I would love to and I know my child would love to as well. It comes with the disease, we leave a trail of destruction behind us. But if we are able to stay clean and we are able to change our behavior grass starts to grow in that path again and the more we walk forward the further that destruction gets from our beautiful grassy path.
I can NEVER change what I did and the
feeling I have regarding that is pure powerlessness and one of the biggest detourants of relapse for me. I do not ever want to create more havoc and terrible memories, I am so over creating suffering for myself and others. So instead of berating myself and shaming myself over it, I pride myself in how well I am doing now. Living this new way of life after over 3 decades of active addiction takes practice but I am doing it and so are you. Thats something to be proud of. If you keep your nose pointed forward eventualy that destruction will be so far in your past all the good stuff will out weigh it.
You are coming up on your anniversary, my addict was a complete ass to me before my one year so try not to fall into negative thinking. Stay on your toes, youre doing a great job and youre a great parent. All we have is today. One day at a time.
It’s so hard not to get stuck in yesterday or tomorrow… Stay in this moment try to breathe. It’s not easy yesterday I sat in the Sun and just tried to enjoy the warmth on my skin and really stay in the moment. My mind races all the time too… I really have to struggle to find reasons to be happy even though I have a lot of them I think… Message me anytime.
@Miranda I am so proud of you 21 days you have put so much effort into this.
@Thirdmonkey congratulations on your 1664 days!! WOW!!
This is so true, and something i try to steer away from. Just seeing this written has helped me today so thank you. I needed this reminder.
@Rockstar24777 I love to read how positive your feeling and that its making you feel like a kid that feeling of excitement out of life. Congratulations on your 832 days
@Benwa10 congratulations on your 6 days, canping sounds fun, it will bring a totally different experience not drinking, a good one where you will appreciate nature and the time with your family more
@Clarity 788 days is amazing and a massive huge congratulations on the birth of your child. I hope you dont feel depressed for too long. And there is help if you feel you may need it
@GOKU2019 sorry to hear your not feeling to great, when i read your post ‘PAWS’ popped into my head- not sure if your familiar with it. Post acute withdrawal syndrome. Take a google at it.
This time will pass and i wish you well also congratulations on 340 days
@DevinRieske18 congrats on your 46 days also sorry to hear about your friend.
@Kdog I think the fact you didnt use it as an excuse to use shows strength and the fact you came back shows your willingness to want change and your puttinf in the action to do that. Good on you for staying strong when emotions are high.
Just catching up here, congratulations to everyone who is sober today. I usually mention the first 10 that i see as i scroll up as there are so many of us it would be a job in its own right to try to mention everyone separately. But know your seen and im proud to see how well everyone is doing, and im proud of those who are reaching out when they need the support, thats a strength that keeps us sober. Have a good day all x
Day 28. The weather is turning and I’m delighted. Happy fall equinox friends. I’m gonna soak up this very fall like weather today before it swings back to 98 degrees for the rest of the week. Lol
Congratulations! Hope your day today goes ok w the appointments. Hope you’ll start getting more sleep and the days will be easier. Glad you checked in. Big congrats!
This was my 4th one, it was good.
The group was smaller this week which was nice and i shared a little bit, well… i just introduced myself properly and im going to go every Wednesday evening. I need to i need the extra tool in my box.
It was so welcoming, all 4 of them have been so nice and each had a chair - someone who comes to tell there story and this really is powerfull to listen to. Do you go to meetings ?
I’m still tobacco free. Some days are easier than others. Today is not one of those. My blood pressure has been up lately. I blame not smoking . So I had to switch to decaf coffee. Frankly, that just pisses me off so much. I like my coffee army strong. If the spoon won’t stand up on its own then the coffee is too weak. This decaf crap has no smell and no taste.
My sciatica is really acting up today. I can’t get comfortable no matter what. That makes me cranky.
I’m absolutely not a jewel to be around today. Good thing my family loves me lol.
Got two chuck roasts wrapped in butcher paper slow roasting all day at 220 degrees and one with broth and vegetables. Dinner should be awesome. I’ll try to enjoy it. Lol
For now I’m gonna go pour out this fake ass coffee and have a contraband mini Pepsi. Winks.
Day 145 here. I haven’t checked in for a while but I do read everyone else’s check ins each day and find it a huge support.
I’ve been finding myself poring over the past a bit recently. One of the things I think I have to learn to accept better is that my inability to correctly piece together strings of events during the time I was receiving help ( medical and practical) for my mental health is not my own fault.
My son called me from school today to say that he’d been elected his class president which is just such wonderful news, especially as he was having such difficulty with his classmates a few months back. The guidance team decided to switch his class which i accepted as a reasonable solution but was unsure whether it would work. It really seems that it is working far better for my son though. When he won the vote he said he immediately thanked his classmates and told them he’d bring them in doughnuts on Monday. We’ve just been looking at how much that’s going to cost! I’ve suggested we bake some brownies instead
It’s approaching the fourth anniversary of my husband’s passing and I’m finding I’m thinking about him a fair amount at the moment. Sometimes I just hold one of the pillows on the bed as I’m going to sleep and imagine it’s him.
Checking in Day 220
Ny day has been wuite relaxed so far. Really not a whole lot going on. My son went to school, I went and did a lower body workout, and then went to the grocery store for supper ingredients (which i am SO looking forward too). My husband is from Nova Scotia and we had a friend go down there for vacation last week. Anyway, this friend picked up some real Nova Scotian pepperoni. So we are having poutine (fries, gravy, and cheese curds) with fried pepperoni. I ate very light so far today so that I can eat a higher calorie supper tonight. Im looking forward to it Just doing some cleaning now and waiting for my son to come home.
Hope everyone is having an addiction free day!
@HeyImKris all we can do is be better now. Try to not look back at the past too much, were not going that way. I know we have repercussions from things we have done but it will get better with time. Focus on today my friend!
@Minatasha confrats on 200! @Benwa10 keep at it brother. First time camping for me sober was awesome. Waking up sober camping was nuts. Being able to pack up the shit without wanting to die was way better! Good luck! @mx_elle congrats on 9 days. Keep at it!
Checking in day 149 af. My dad just took off back to Michigan. He has always been one of my favorite drinking partners. We had a great sober week in the pacific northwest, and went to see Roger Waters a couple night ago! My finger printing came back for coaching soccer and i failed to pass the background check. I had a meeting with Hr and told them i have nearly 5 months of sobriety and can be a great help to the kids. They passed me along and I coached my first game last night. (Assistant coach). Im grateful for that. Keepin in going one day at a mf time.
My typical Sunday morning tradition after camping was, crawl out of the tent with a pounding headache and try to pack up everything including somehow fitting tent back into original bag without throwing up. Not this this time.
. So I had to switch to decaf coffee. Frankly, that just pisses me off so much. I like my coffee army strong. If the spoon won’t stand up on its own then the coffee is too weak. This decaf crap has no smell and no taste.
Just doing some cleaning now and waiting for my son to come home.
