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Coffee. Woke up too early. Never mind. Will make something of my extra day off which I got because of the aggression incident last week. Made an appointment for EMDR to try and help deal with the mental consequences of it. Not today alas. Going to have some self care instead, do a spinning class later , have some good food , a walk downtown maybe . Pet Luna .
My day will be sober and clean for sure. Just like I hope and except from all of you. It’s why we’re here. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from Amsterdam.
I am sorry to hear about the traumatic birth you both underwent. I hope that you are being well taken care of by your family. Postpartum is hard and know that you dont have to do it alone. There are lots of support groups online and through the hospitals for women who are suffering. I am always just a phone call away too, and rumour has it I am a pretty good resentment sounding board.
Congrats on your clean time and on bringing a clean baby into this world. You are a miracle and so is she. I love you.
Remember the day when you had no choice? I do, never wanna go back there. Not sure i would have chosen to run in that heat, maybe a swim in a lake though. Hahaha, great job getting through your feelings.
Day 367 checking in have had a rough nite by partner and baby daughter have covid they have been up most of the nite with the symptoms been giving my daughter calpol and ibuprofen plenty of water hope it shifts soon I start work in 2 and a half hours it’s going to be a long day
At first congratulations with your little wonder
And second: I found the happily birth myth stories overrated. I had 3 babies and thought I might die at every occasion
Back in those days in the Netherlands they want you to give birth at home with no anestetics whatsoever. These days a woman has more to say in it.
Take your time to heal! Both physical and mentally. Accept all the help you get.
Venting helps! Talk about your experience around the birth with other moms, they understand.
A picture from Cappadocië, Turkey. It was the highlight of our holiday for me. All those balloons in that rocky environment. Almost not real. I made soooo many pictures
I have to hurry now, bye!
Awwwww Polly my doggy baby she will crya and screech if try to leave her with anyone who isnt my son or my mum or dad or brother.
Like even she can see me and my cousin holds her outside the shop it sounds so loud and sad the noise she makes.
He will be okay xx try and enjoy your day and imagine the cuddles tonight when you collect him x
I used to go to a face to face meeting, but they don’t work the steps and a meeting takes 2 h in the evening. Because I start to work at 5 am, I’m already in bed at this time.
Normally I take part in 1 of 3 specific online meetings every day, but at the moment I’ve to care for our new dog, too.
Online meetings are great, i lived on the 24 hour one at the begining of my sobriety, but there are smaller ones for different areas too.
I spend alot of time alone, and i feel really lonely and for me i see this as slippery slope to a relapse in the future. So for me the face to face meetings are for 2 reasons.
I dont have a support network apart from this community, so i have to take the time to build a support network to be apart of.
Human interaction, as i really need it right now but in a safe sensible place and way thats safe for my sobriety.
You have a new dog thats so exciting
My dog really helps me stay sober, it gets you out when you wouldnt feel like it usually, and the love yoh share between eachother is something so lovely.
Edit : 3. I think im ready to do the steps but going into AA woth no expectations that way im going with the flow and open to having a sponsor and doing the steps where i had not been open to this before. (due to lack of knowledge and my perception of what i thought AA was)
I got a sponsor at my first online AA meeting after I “left” the marathon and nobody in the face to face meeting did sponsoring.
I’m glad that you’re going to work the steps! It took me a long period of time, before I could fine something that could nearly be a higher power, because I’m a atheist/agnostic.
I believe in god, but i still struggle with how to hand over my problems and surreneder to him.
I have always said though when people get put off of by the words a higher power, that i feel just being in the rooms and powerfulness of everyone being there for eachother is a higher power in itself. The people.
Yes i need a sponsor now, i still am kind of put off from it but as i said iv scrapped all expectations and preconceptions i have/had and im an open book because i dont know, but i know it works for so many and the problems staying sober this time just werent there when i did 8 yrs before. This time around i need the support.
So you got a sponsor through online, usually its face to face but that’s amazing that you did.
Im thinking about going to a meeting tonight… im not sure.
As i am really trying to make a strict routine for myself otherwsie my depression and ongoing trauma (im not in any danger) i get lost and stuck and find myself in bed for weeks where to me it felt like one long day.
So i am going to keep going to the meeting every Wednesday as part of my routine and tonight i may just go just to keep me busy.
I dont allow myself to watch tv in the day unless its the weekend im so strict with myself but it works and to be honest i say strict but its just daily living im learning again, a new routine after a traumatic loss, learning who i am, and how to live sober on top of that.
Awwwww you doggy is so gawjus
I love my furry friends they really are part of the family.
7 days AF AF!!! Not going to drink today. Woke up with a headache but actually feeling pretty damn good today. I hope everyone here has the amazing day that you’ve all earned and deserve. Hard work pays off. God bless you all.
Day 833 clean and sober today. Going to be running the front office again today at work which is cool but not my favorite lol. The cool part is it’s a very easy day physically and that means rest for my newly forming hiking legs Have a beautiful day everyone, love you guys!!!
Congratulations on no cigarettes!
I drank decaf all throughout my pregnancy and I missed the real stuff as well. I’m likec you-I like my coffee strong. I eventually found some decaf that was better. I wish I could remember what it was! There are some better ones out there, and I found even better if I used a French press or did a pour over. Oh talking about this makes me want my coffee. Its 6:30 am here. My cat woke me up and I thought I’d try to lay here and then go back to sleep but I guess it’s not working so I’ll get up and get my coffee now after all that talk about it.
I’m sorry to hear about your sciatica.
Are you seeing physio?
There are some stretches that can help alleviate the pain, but I know it can be awful. Thinking of you
, have some good food 
, a walk downtown maybe 
. Pet Luna 
.
Polly my doggy baby she will crya and screech if try to leave her with anyone who isnt my son or my mum or dad or brother.
It took me a long period of time, before I could fine something that could nearly be a higher power, because I’m a atheist/agnostic.
