Major congratulations and thank you for coming here to share with us! I love seeing folks stick around and bring updates that show long term sobriety is possible. Well done!!!
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@carriebianco Wonderful! 
@KrispyMac What progress! 
@Hayleylujah Ruminating on the past changes not one jot. I also wish like hell that I had done this, or not done that. But that leads to wishing your life away because you are not thinking about now.
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Evening Check in
Day 237
Feeling pretty accomplished today. I had a long list of things to do. Probably wrote out too many tasks but amazingly got most of it done!! Got my steps in bcuz I had to walk to the grocery store for Thanksgiving dinner tmrw due to the trains not running thru downtown. Came home, ate lunch and gave my boy his feed, then took my son out for a wagon walk thru the park. Brought a blanket with us so he can sit down on the ground and play with the beautiful fall leaves. Got some amazingly cute photos 
Then home to do up 6 loads of laundry. Lots of towels, clothes, hubbys work clothes, and the bedding etc. Did dishes. Now Im currently waiting for our supper to be made at this pizza place. Gonna eat supper while my boy has his supper feed. Give him a bath before bed and then relax with him until he falls asleep. There was only 1 slight urge to use. I caught myself sort of glorifying drugs in my head. When hubby came home with his money from his tattoo, he was counting it and it sort of triggered me. But I wouldnt go thru with it obviously. Just remembered how far I came and what I have in my life today bcuz of my recovery. Life is too good!! Anyway, hope everyone is having a good day/evening. Hugs TS fam!
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Day 23 almost in the books. Feel better than Iāve felt in, well, probably ever. Skipped out on a hunting trip usually filled with drinking all weekend to instead go hiking and to a science museum with the family and then a family game night. Best decision I ever made. My friend who is not much of a drinker anyways but is doing sober October, brought over some Topo Chico (sparkling mineral water) and I tried that for the first time and I actually really enjoyed it. I drank a few of them and woke up very hydrated. Haha. I hope yāall are all having an amazing weekend. I couldnāt have got this far without yāall. Honestly. God bless.
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Day 1 
Hey, all Iām back. Felt myself drifting away from the group which of course didnāt end well. At least nothing bad happened this time other than having to reset. Donāt remember if I shared this news, but I got hired on the spot for the job I interviewed for. Canāt start until my background check clears, but Iām trying to go to bed earlier so Iāll get used to waking up at 6am again. The whole highlight of my day was doing laundry. Oh, well. Tomorrow is another day.
Happy Thanksgiving to all our Canadian friends! 
(BTW: I actually believed, up until last year, that āBoxing Dayā was about the sport. 
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Thats awesome! Congratulations on 5 solid days!
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Beauty! So glad to hear about 2 mo SHF, especially 
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Iām sorry youāre struggling with those tough feelings. I think we all get the regrets at times. I get the shames. Just overwhelming waves of shame sometimes for Literally no reason. Like a shame wave hits me but itās not tied to anything Iāve done recently or in the past. For me it usually means Iām EXHAUSTED. If I just let myself sleep for as long as I want (which I know is not always a feasible thing to do) it resets my brain. I tend to do do do do to burnout and Iām not great at sleeping anyhow. Shame is the first sign Iām about to power down wether I want to or not lol
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Thatās amazing! Iām so glad you had such a nice weekend.
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Those feelings will come time to time. Im learning to sit with them and let them just be. Im working on not dwelling on them, but instead letting them flow through me, acknowledging the mistake, and reminding myself that āthisā is why im choosing a better life today. It can be painful, but we dont have to hold on to guilt and remorse. Weāve made our mistakes, waisted plenty of time and opportunities, but thats all behind us. For me, i have to focus on whats in front of me. I use those times as a reminder now and try my best not to get caught up in it. Im only 135 dayfs AF at this point but its what is helping me. 
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Welcome home @DryIn785 im so grateful you made it back in. Congratulations on the new job also.
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Holy shit sticks that is a busy day.
Very glad to hear you made a wise choice to order dinner out. Something struck me in your post though that I couldnt scroll pastā¦
Its actually not obvious you wouldnt go through with it. You are an addict in early recovery whose been sick, stressed, and working her ass off taking care of her child. Addicts go back out over way less than that. If money is still triggering do you think its possible to ask your hubby to count his loot out of site? The more ways we protect ourselves and listen to those warning signs the safer we are making our recovery. I know you would never want to go back out, me neither, so I try my hardest to protect myself and my recovery.
Oh and sidenote: I can imagine those beautiful photos of your son in the leaves. And I can imagne the beautiful mumma, clean, present in her body smiling and taking the photos. Iām so happy for you, congrats on your days. 
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Oh im so sorry to see this. Welcome back. Its easy to drink but its also very possible to get back up and continue being sober.
What worked for you in the first 2 weeks last time? Can you think of a night where you really wanted to drink but didnt and were proud of that?
Congrats on laundry and your job. You can keep the good momentum up!
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Day 218.
What a low day. On my smartphone scrolling. Couldnt find the coolant leak source in my car. Just laid around mostly and did some eating. Did have quality cat time.
Cleaned the kitchen. Its late but i really should set the 15 min timer. Ive put it off for hours.
Idk. Idk. Ok. Wound up making myself set the timer. 20 min to laundry and cat litter. Still more laundry to put away but im done working tonight.
Im going to put the fan on. Put podcast on. I have to leave the house at 9. Job interview. What a long low day of gross.
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Wowā¦ idk what to say. 1st off thank you! I was not expecting ur comment lol i never even thought about that myself to be honest. And also, a part of ur post scared me and a part of ur post made me feel relief. It scares me that even tho im coming up on 8 months clean and sober, that im still early in recovery. Realistically 8 months clean out of 22 years struggling with addiction, is like a stepping stone lol its a small amount of time in reality. Im not diminishing my 8 months. It took a lot of hard work to get here but in the grand scheme of things, its very early on, ur right. I think ur post made me realize that i need to stay focused. Life sure gets busy when substances arent involved but my recovery needs to be first in my life. If i dont have my recovery, i have nothing. Absolutely nothing. And recovery for me is directly related to my spiritual relationship on my HP. I need to step up my recovery. I cant start accepting these things to happen, such as my hubby counting money in front of me (he doesnt do this on purpose to trigger me. I just have never mentioned it to him that it bothers me). But the longer i just sit there and accept these triggers to happen, dealing with it on my own, the greater the potential risk of me being in a bad state just that 1 time, where i may end up asking about using. I dont even want to get to that point. I am thankful that i never have felt the need to use. I think overall im handling my stress n stuff well. But i need more recovery related stuff in my life i think. Thank u for ur amazing insight as always hugs 
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Day 4 of hopefully a long while at least. Been focusing more on not being alone as much and Iāve found that has helped me a great deal lately as sad as that can be for an introvert like me.
Ultimately it is good for me though as tiring as it can be but oh well. Being tired is nothing unusual. Been listening to the LOTR books lately, the version done by Andy Serkis. Heās been doing a decent job of it
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Checking in on day 9
Good morning to the European folks 
Itās 6:30 am, cold, dark and brrrr too early. I made it to 5 hours of sleep, better than nothing right?
After all these mornings feeling sick I finally feel good now. Iām even hungry 
A good sign.
Lots of work ahead, lets rock that!
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
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I saw someone I have known for over 20 years this weekend. A career heavy drinker. We sat down for lunch and he was shaking pretty badly. He mentioned that he drank a fifth of liquor the night before but thought he had the shakes from lack of eating and was hypoglycemic. I thought that was bullshit cause his shakes went away three bloody marys later. Good luck trying to tell this guy his drinking is too much cause he wonāt listen. A cold empty feeling ran through me like ālive and let dieā being in his presence. He turns 40 next month and I wonder what will become of him. Spending all those years in the party scene did not produce a good caliber of friendsā¦Not sure how I feel about it all past thatā¦I guess it just made me feel uncomfortable or bad for him or somethingā¦Blahā¦
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