Day #48
Woke up to darkness, but the sun is now beginning to rise on another day, and I’m so grateful to live so close to the coast - the sunrises and sunsets here are soothing.
I’ve got two work-free days as I worked yesterday; not back until Wednesday now. I’m not sure how I’m going to spend my spare time yet, but one thing I haven’t seemed to have lost post-addiction is my spontaneity - so who knows what I’ll turn my hand to 
Have a great day everybody!
I’ve actually had a really beautiful weekend. Friday was not a great day, but yesterday and today I am feeling much better.
39 days AF
The moments seem clearer, the memories made happier, the love for myself is growing.
I’d love to write more but I must close my eyes and get some sleep 
So here we are again. Been sober for 1 full day now. I know I’ve been drifting between my doc and sobriety but now it’s really time to cut the crap.
I can’t handle alcohol and there’s no denying it.
In the last couple of months I drank every day again. A couple of drinks but it was every day. No matter what day it was…
Last saturday I went out with my best friend to a bar and got super super drunk. Woke up with the worst hangover I’ve had in a very long time.
This really needs to end. I need to be sober. No more ‘just for a little while’ or ‘only for 90 days’. No…
1219
Coffee. Two late shifts to go before a long midweek weekend for me. I feel a bit in between, I am a bit in between, in particular with my new group therapy coming up in a couple of weeks but not having heard when exactly. And the stuff I’ll be addressing there (I hope) coming to the front a bit. Abuse issues, my relation to sexuality, relationships, gender. I do not deal with those well right now. Feeling the same mechanisms at work as I had with substance abuse, taking flight, hiding from reality, avoiding facing tough issues. Still loads of work to do in my journey of discovery.
But I’m very glad I can put this work in in the first place, one day at a time. Without my sobriety nothing would come of it and I’d be still digging a hole deeper and deeper. Or I’d be dead by now. So never again. Have as good a week as you all can friends. make it sober and clean. It’s why we’re here.
Pic is Great Sand Dunes NP (CO), October 10 2019. My first sober holiday. It was great, just as great as these dunes are. Lots of love to all of you.
@Jonachav123 & @DryIn785 Good to see you both back. ODAAT for all of us. Let’s do this. Together.
@Minatasha Success on your job interview. I’m glad you’re here. You’re not alone.
@Hayleylujah Nicotine has been tried (and rejected) as an antidepressant. It sure messes with the balance in our happy neurotransmitters and hormones. It’ll take some time to find your natural state again with those. Keep going. X
That’s tough to see. I’m glad you are walking a different path.
194 days 
Holy shit I’m sliding into a super crap anxious/depressive phase. I think it’s been triggered by stress with work and lack of sleep. But for well over a week I’ve been so anxious I can barely breath a lot, a few bad bouts of crying and just an overwhelming sense of dread.
I know I just need to chill out and meditate and calm myself down. I can’t switch off. I’m exercising a lot, I took a break this morning to try rest a bit before work so I wouldn’t be so run down. But it hasn’t really helped.
Anyone got any good book recommendations to chill out and keep my mind somewhere else?
I can see why I relapse out of nowhere. All these emotions just barrel me over and i can’t turn them off so I just try and numb them and get wasted to make it go away.
Sigh. Thanks for listening guys.
Congratulations hope I get to that one day. Anyways maybe try reading the big book of A.A., or basic text of N.A. Alcohol is a drug so it mingles together lol. If you download the "everything A.A. app it’s pretty awesome. Oh and for shits and giggles say the serenity prayer as many times as you need too 
Maybe try this on Sundays:
Day 850. I went and saw the Lost Boys last night at my local movie theater. It was so cool to see it on the big screen again!!! I love going to the movies, it’s part of my self care routine. Anyway it’s Wednesday for me lol I hope everyone has a fantastic day, love you guys!!! 
Thank you.
day 17. Just checking in.
Hey all, checking in on day 848. I hope everybody has a good one!
Day 14. Made it through weekend number 2!
I just want to say that I’m so fucking proud of you.
You are doing incredibly well despite all the shit life has thrown at you the last couple months. You are an inspiration. One of the strongest people I’ve ever met, truly.
Thanks for sharing this helpfull experience! I had the same issues and to have a regular sleeping pattern really helped me. 
Really proud of you, that you recognised your thoughts! FAB (“Fading Affect Bias, which is basically remembering the good about a situation or time period and readily forgetting the bad”) a really mean bitches.
Glad to hear that you doing that good! 
Thank you @RosaCanDo 
yes, I’ll stick around like a tick. Do love TS community although Im not that active anymore 
Congratulations to two full sober weeks! 
10138 days drug free
55 days post nicotine
Life has been a whirlwind lately. It’s less than three weeks to my trip with Honor Flight to Washington DC.
This coming Thursday we are leaving on an almost spur of the moment trip to Maine. My great granddaughter is now nine months old and her mother’s mother still hasn’t met her. So we are going to surprise her. We even have a plan on how to do it. She works at Walmart so I’m going to act like a lost grandma and tell her I’m supposed to meet my granddaughter by the diapers but I’ll be almost crying that I can’t find them, please take me there. And of course her daughter with the baby will be there. Lol
My health continues to be so-so. My lung health continues to improve thanks to quitting smoking. That helps improve my sleeping pattern which plays a part in my waking life improving. Funny how it all comes together.
I may not be posting or commenting much here but I still read. I still root for everyone. Things will settle down after the DC trip. Until then have a blessed day!
