tonight will be day 289 of no self harm. TW for suicide
still feeling sick, awful headache, random dizzy spells and sore throat. tested myself for COVID again and it was negative.
tomorrow is going to be the 5 year anniversary of when one of my best friends took his own life. he was 12. I was 14. been feeling pretty down today because of it. I think it’s the fact he died so young that gets me. everytime I think of him I’m reminded of all the things he never got to experience.
something positive: still enjoying my Legos, I’m not sure if anyone is interested but I’m gonna keep posting Lego updates because I’ve been having a hard time checking in daily and it motivates me
I enjoy to see your Lego i enjoy seeing you here too. It slso gives me comfort that you come here and share when you feel sad, i dont want you to feel alone ever
And again wow you are really good at the Lego!! I find it do difficult to follow any instructions but i can imagine mentally this is brilliant for you, as you have to think and problem solve so your mind is concentrated on just the Lego.
Hope you feel better soon, not sure if possible but maybe some cold snd flu tea from the pharmacy? This make help you get through the work day easier, what pops to mind is a Lemsip.
Xx
I actually have a really hard time creating my own original Lego stuff so the instructions are perfect for me. it’s very relaxing. it’s also super satisfying. definitely keeps my full attention. probably gonna buy some cold medicine or at least some vitamin c or something soon. hopefully it’s just a cold but we’ll see. thank you for always taking the time to respond to my posts by the way. your kind words mean a lot every time
Im here for you i want to be, im proud of you for being so open about stuff. Your an amazing young woman and im gratefull to have met you here and to be able watch you blossom ito a beatifull flower along the journey.
Congratulations also on your 289 days !! Amazing !!
Reading the posts and replies on this forum has been a huge help for me, to stay on the path. Thank you everyone, for your encouragement, love and support. I couldn’t have done it without you
Day 10 and it was a rough one. Managed to get by but even so, I’m tired. Work was frustrating and stress inducing today so that didn’t help in the slightest. Apparently your brain wants to fall back on familiar habits when stressed. Which is just fantastic. But overall it was alright today and hopefully tomorrow will be better
Morning all,
O the way to start day2 sober, feels strange to wake up in morning rested and not having a dizzy head ( like its been daily for over 4 years ).
Last night felt a bit shit befor bed probably coz my body was missing the booze.
Hope you all have a good day
Checking in on day 65, and wishing everybody a fantastic day ahead The weekend is almost upon us!
I managed to get along to my first meeting last night for quite a few weeks. It was great to be able to see some familiar faces. It was a Topic meeting. Afterwards, I came away feeling enriched and so much better after having the opportunity to share and listen to likeminded people in a safe, secure environment. It was definitely an aspect of my life that has been lacking in the last couple of weeks while I haven’t been able to get along to a meeting.
My local meeting is quite a small one; normally there’s less than 10 every week. But I’m considering driving to another branch meeting which is about 10-15 miles away every now and again (which happens on a different night), which I’m also told is much bigger - 50+ people most weeks. Hearing a variety of stories and recollections will help me.
Back at work today after a few nice days off, but after today, I’m off till next Tuesday. Got a few plans for over the weekend which will be nice Have a great day everybody - ODAAT.
Good morning all, restarted this app I’m currently 11 days sober alcohol and cocaine. Needed to get myself back on track. I have good support around me. I need to do this.
1237
Coffee. My weekend. Two early shifts to go on Saturday and Sunday. Counting down to my vacation after that. But first I’ll enjoy my first Thursday free of any obligations in months. Too bad I can’t go for a proper hike or bike ride as both my right foot and hand are still a bit off after the spill of my bike I took the other week.
Well, I’ll think of something else to do. I’m sober and clean, just as I expect from all of you here as it’s our only way towards a better life. Have as good a day as you can friends. Love from Amsterdam and my workplace in Utrecht, where this view is one of the main perks.
Glad to see you back again and giving your sobriety a chance again I had heaps of resets and this last attempt has stuck 7 months now. Just have to keep trying x
Day 10. Woke early, but I did go to bed insanely early last night. Actually slept okay and no headache this morning. Yay! Still battling severe depression though. I’m already on meds and have my next therapy appt Tuesday. I’ve been feeling extra lonely lately. Only a couple people know about my drinking problem and my struggle with sobriety. I don’t feel comfortable opening up to my family yet. Don’t really have anyone to talk to besides you all. I know I could try a meeting. I’m hesitant right now because everything seems to trigger major crying spells. Don’t want that around others. My goals for today are to shower and stay sober.
Day 97 free from alcohol
Day 77 free from toxic relationships
Day 14 imperfect regular eating
Attention maybe bit triggering words about my drinking storry.
Glad that I made it so far…
Today I thought it has become normal,
not to drink, but - it’s not normal at all!
It took me strength and power to make it so far.
I was drinking 2 - 3 bottles of wine every day, despite of short breaks and trials to get sober. Last one was 6 weeks in may, started again in combination with the toxic relationship I was in…
And I was soo fucking auto-programmed,
not able to stop at all and I had lost ALL inhibitions about drinking in impossible situations.
Even during and after sports, in online Yoga classes or spiritual meetings and yes - I was drunk driving (thank god nothing ever happened) …
Often before having a date (with guys that were not good for me anyway).
I was so fucked up, pending in hangover 24/7.
But I made it…
Life has become so much more peaceful until here. Excited about my further journey.
Still trying to eat regular in all its imperfectness. My stomach is in trouble, I had different emotional overwhelmings since a week and stressful situations in job.
Need to ease… Tonight it’s my 90 minute Yoga live class
So I was at gym doing LEGs yesterday around 8:30 on evening and got a call from boss. Says that I need to be at work tomorrow at 6:30 / pump fuel and go to load hot slender asphalt. It is very nasty and quite hard job. After LEG day…
Glad to hear you’re feeling a little bit better Karen. Small steps forward yes. I had no one to talk about this sobriety stuff in real life too. Tried meetings. They were helpful for a while even though I have a serious problems with functioning in groups. But this place for sure is what helped me most, it gave me connection, it gave me people who know the deal to talk to, I even formed some real friendships here. I’m glad you’re here as together we make it work, this sobriety thing. Hugs.
i enjoy seeing you here too. It slso gives me comfort that you come here and share when you feel sad, i dont want you to feel alone ever 
super glad we met
maybe bit triggering words about my drinking storry.
