@MooseTracks Congrats on your 75 days also glad to hear your feeling a bit better today. Your doing amazing
Congratulations to all of us today
Thank you all for being so caring, iv never met so many thoughtfull caring people and been so lucky to have them all in the same place everyday
Awww you shouldnt feel ashamed, you have kept trying and i know myself quitting smoking is not easy !! I couldnt do it without the patches they really help take the irritability away and mood swings.
I will have prayers for you for your scan.
I also finished my xmas shopping today but i know il still buy more stuff i cant help it im so excited this year even though due to life circumstances the past 2 xmas i realised it is actually quite a sad time of year for alot of people. But i pushed my pain to the side and told myself this year im going to enjoy it with my son.
A cruise sounds amazing but even better to have your siblings with you its something really nice to look forward to, i like having things to look forward to its what keeps me going.
Im glad you got through storm Nicole okay
Nice to read your update have a blessed night to you too.
Checking in Day 278
Nothing super eventful happened today. Some cravings to use (for some reason the cheque in the mail for xmas triggered that urge. Havent dealt with triggers from money in quite some time).
I finished my errands and spoke to my sons medical team about this outbreak at all the schools in this city. Basically she suggested keeping him home from school for a week until this crazy flu dies down. Thats fine. Ill just have to adjust my routine for the gym etc. No biggie. He will return the 28th.
I did some Christmas decoration shopping at the Dollarstore store. They have some super cute stuff. Im going with a red, gold, and white tree this year. Hubby is putting up the tree this weekend! Yay! So decorating will happen next week. I cant wait to start wrapping presents lol
My eating has been super weird. I have been doing well in a sense with my eating. Eating better foods and more reasonable portion sizes. But sometimes i wonder if im eating enough? I am experiencing this weird sensory thing with textures. Like i cant eat if the texture bugs me. Idk. I will feel hungry but at the same time dont want to eat. Many months ago i had huge issues with binging food, hiding food, obsessive thinking over eating food, and now im eating alot healthier but also experiencing other things related to food too. Trying to gain balance in my areas lol
Anyway, hope you all are doing well. I work this weekend si have to dtart getting ready for that.
There seems to be a bad flu going around here in this part of the UK im in too!
Glad your son is well and yes keeping him off sounds like a good idea.
Im wanting to put my tree up but i wait untik after the 7th of dec my sons bday i have just dont that since he was little but im so tempted as especially as his 20 and he isnt interested in the tree really
Your colour scheme for your tree sounds pretty.
Money hasnt triggered me for a long time but evry now and then like all the environmental factors like the time of night, payment going in all happen and it reminds me of me sitting there waiting to go to the shop and meet the dealer sometimes it causes a craving others i sit there for about 10 mins thinking of how negative the experience of just going to get it and waiting actually was.
Your such a lovely caring woman, all the people you have thought about making dreamcatchers for xmas i think that really says so much about the kind gentle person you are, such a beautifull soul and im gratefull to be able to share our journeys here together
Today is 21 days for me. The last few days have been tough I gotta admit. Not really that I wanna drink but it getting used to having to fill a void outta my day Iām not used too. It kinda sucks having to place a number too on the days I didnāt mess up, from here on out Iām just gonna be thankful for each day.
Hope yāall having a good day!
Thanks. I have found meal prepping with my kids helps with the urges. We play games while we cook and it keeps me busy from about 6-8pm. Nights after 9pm do suck. I just toss and turn all night long. I know it will get easier each day. My day 5 was way worse than today at 21 days.
It didnāt take me 3 weeks to get to this point, It was more like 10yrs so I know I have a lot of work ahead of me.
39 days substance free
169 days self harm free
2 days regular eating
Today was weird. My job has protestersā¦ It shut down business for about 4 hours. We had to close 3x today in total. I also had a busy day outside of workā¦ And Iām feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything I am responsible forā¦ At work, Iām a manager, and at home Iām in charge of the house and all the kids and all the schedules. My niece (one of my bonus kids) is going though a rough breakup, and another bonus kid ( little sister in law) is trying to get me to help her sneak time with a boy behind her fatherās backā¦ Ugh. I just have too much on my mind today. I will try to sleep soon and wake up at 4 to start another day at work before all the weekend activities for all the kids begins.
Guys!!! I was craving a drink sooo bad but I said no and went to pick up my kids. I was with family and my cousin opened up a nice cold one, so tempting. But nope!
Then my aunt offered me a drink she wanted to share with me.
I openly said with no shame ā Iām an alcoholic. I canāt drink Iām trying to be a better person for myself and my family. Unfortunately once I have one I have no endingā surprisingly they all took it very well and didnāt make it out to be bigger deal than it is. Iām just happy I was able to say that out loud with no care in the world or cared what anyone would think of me.
Wow!! You are amazing! Iām so proud of you for turning down a drink and doing it more than once!! And even moreso for letting it be known that you are not drinking! And why you arenāt drinking!
Almost at the three month mark. Been busy living life. Doing service work lately has made me even busier. Except my house is messy again. Tomorrow I sleep, eat, and clean.
You 3 are the best!! Iāve gotten so much great advice from all of you in the little time I been here!! Thank you. Iām so proud of myself I didnāt want to ruin such a great day with a week of depression and feeling like crap after.
@SassyBoomer Itās funny you posted today. I was about to tag you in the āYou are missedā section. Glad youāre back! Iām sorry to hear about the smoking. I thought once I got my patches again I could quit again. I was mistaken. I have one of those nodules too, but they told me at my last exam āit hasnāt grown since your last x-ray in 2019, so itās probably nothing.ā Probably. Iāll absolutely keep you in my prayers.
Youāre one of those people, we love you too!
You mentioned this is a sad time of year for many of us. I didnāt think it was for me. This year feels different. Not having a family hurts worse the older I get. Iām gonna stop now before I ruin my night.
Sometimes, those are the best days. Just rest and reflect and recharge. Iām happy things are going good Dana!
Seriously? No wonder you feel a little overwhelmed. @Ktorres Good for you! It should always be that easy. Why does everybody feel the need to railroad us into drinking after we said no? @Fiarra Congrats on 3 months!
Day 7 (again)
Been a strange day. Started when my alarm went off at 5am. Trying to get up early so Iāll be ready if work calls. But I didnāt go to bed till almost 3, so I tried to turn off the alarm. Long story short, I ended banging against the nightstand until it was no longer an alarm clock and it just kept ringing anyway, driving me nuts! Then I realizedā¦ it was phone alarm that was going off.
I figured Iām up now, guess I should start the day. Made bed, prayed, ate. Nothing really happened. Too cold to go anywhere - daytime high of 25F but 14F with wind chill (-4/-10C). Called Aegis about getting my job back and left a message, no response. This seemed like a sure thing only a couple days ago so now Iām all apprehensive again.
The cold may be a blessing, keeping me inside. Triggers abound. Between the job situation, the boredom, the loneliness, the holidays, etc. I just really feel the need to drink. I just got back on the wagon a week ago! Tomorrow is goiong to be warmer than today and I donāt know whatās going to happen.
For now, coffee and Netflix. Good sober evening to all!
P.S. I just realized Iām missing the Leonid meteor shower.
Right?!!! I feel like sometimes people want to push us so far just to see if we fail. And crazy how some are so willingly ready to even pay for our poison.
you are on the right path yes 
i cant help it im so excited this year even though due to life circumstances the past 2 xmas i realised it is actually quite a sad time of year for alot of people. But i pushed my pain to the side and told myself this year im going to enjoy it with my son.
I have one of those nodules too, but they told me at my last exam āit hasnāt grown since your last x-ray in 2019, so itās probably nothing.ā Probably. Iāll absolutely keep you in my prayers. 
