Ouhhh Twizzle, thank you so much for this post! Maybe it’s day of cravings. I feel you. We are strong girls okay! Very strong, taff girls.
And no we don’t even deserve a sense of guys like that! There are a LOT of other and good guys out there. We just had a wrong sensor these years, and we loved that drama and the kick.
I was so bored by more patient or settled guys.
It’s subconsciousness
In the meantime I have another view.
But i am not totally over it and healed.
Like you said, it’s about working on ourselfs in the first place. So… I really feel you!
Thanks for sharing your storry so open here. Drinking was totally combined with meeting my ex on.off guy too and he was using cocaine as well. Glad I didn’t touch it. Had enough with several other drugs between 14 and 20.
Please stay strong and go stubborn on your path. The right path.
Such a night won’t give you anything!
You will feel empty and you will have to reset.
You will regret it.
If I have the feeling of “I need to breakout” i am trying to do something wild, unfamiliar or new… Ok, just reminded myself that this is not a bad idea next time again.
Your strong, taff girl made 1850 meters in the pool and then… She cried under the shower and again sitting in the car. That’s life.
But we will make it.
Just read your post and the kind words of @Mno too
Awwwww when your sad know im with you in your heart and id give you a big hug and tell you things are going to be okay
Well done with your swim too your doing so well and so consistent too !
Your very right about staying strong and stubborn thank you for your lovely words they mean alot and make so much sense to me.
Iv just put my electric blanket on and im watching something called 1899 on Netflix it looks good so far, and il have some snacks in a bit.
Please try to eat this evening okay, you will need nutrients after that amazing swim so your ready for for next time.
Im so glad your here thank you for helping me rationalise my thoughts tonight.
Sounds super cozy!
Enjoy your night with the most important person in your life
Yourself.
Done
I still had leftover rice from vietnamese yesterday that I just heated up with tofu and scrumbelled egg. Carbs and portion, good for the muscles. Bitter Lemon zero as a drink.
I personally can sleep brilliant by eating late
So i will switch to bed in the second floor, under the roof.
@Ktorres Congratulations on a week and getting up so early to run!
@Juli1@Twizzlers So glad you guys can share experiences and support. That’s what a sober community is all about . Remember if you guys want to talk in more detail about your shared experiences you can pm each other if you don’t want the whole thread to see.
Im so happy you had something to eat and will be able to sleep after too.
This 1899 on netflix is quite good keeping my mind busy i am all cozy too.
Il probably fall asleep soon so have a good nights rest and hopefully we wake up feeling brighter if not we have eachother and everyone here for support
Has it really been nine days since I last posted?? Lawd, my life has been insane still.
I have a sister who is three years younger than me. She is the only “normie” sibling out of all of us kids. We butted heads since childhood and I quite literally hated her for years because I felt she was holier than thou and condescending. Well since our half brother came into the picture our relationship has gone a way I never expected. We have shared so much of ourselves to each other. I never realized what an impact I had on her. So many years wasted but we aren’t doing that anymore. She is flying through Florida and taking a day on December 7th to spend the day with me. But wait, it gets better. She also is going on the cruise! Four nights and five days of sibling bonding. I’m excited about it.
Our faucet exploded and ruined our kitchen floor. We thought it was the pipe under the sink but found the faucet leaking badly too. So a new faucet and pipe for the sink. Praying the floor dries well. Will definitely have to replace some of it and probably the cabinet as well eventually.
Finished my Christmas shopping today. Thank goodness!
This coming Monday is my repeat cat scan on my chest checking to see if the nodule in my lung has grown. Trying to stay positive. Prayers welcomed.
Still struggling with stopping smoking again. I’m so ashamed of myself.
Oh, we weathered the storm Nicole fine. It didn’t hit us as badly as Ian did especially since we used extra protection where Ian affected the house.
Been hitting a lot of ups and downs but nothing has devastated me except for the smoking.
@MooseTracks Congrats on your 75 days also glad to hear your feeling a bit better today. Your doing amazing
Congratulations to all of us today
Thank you all for being so caring, iv never met so many thoughtfull caring people and been so lucky to have them all in the same place everyday
Awww you shouldnt feel ashamed, you have kept trying and i know myself quitting smoking is not easy !! I couldnt do it without the patches they really help take the irritability away and mood swings.
I will have prayers for you for your scan.
I also finished my xmas shopping today but i know il still buy more stuff i cant help it im so excited this year even though due to life circumstances the past 2 xmas i realised it is actually quite a sad time of year for alot of people. But i pushed my pain to the side and told myself this year im going to enjoy it with my son.
A cruise sounds amazing but even better to have your siblings with you its something really nice to look forward to, i like having things to look forward to its what keeps me going.
Im glad you got through storm Nicole okay
Nice to read your update have a blessed night to you too.
Checking in Day 278
Nothing super eventful happened today. Some cravings to use (for some reason the cheque in the mail for xmas triggered that urge. Havent dealt with triggers from money in quite some time).
I finished my errands and spoke to my sons medical team about this outbreak at all the schools in this city. Basically she suggested keeping him home from school for a week until this crazy flu dies down. Thats fine. Ill just have to adjust my routine for the gym etc. No biggie. He will return the 28th.
I did some Christmas decoration shopping at the Dollarstore store. They have some super cute stuff. Im going with a red, gold, and white tree this year. Hubby is putting up the tree this weekend! Yay! So decorating will happen next week. I cant wait to start wrapping presents lol
My eating has been super weird. I have been doing well in a sense with my eating. Eating better foods and more reasonable portion sizes. But sometimes i wonder if im eating enough? I am experiencing this weird sensory thing with textures. Like i cant eat if the texture bugs me. Idk. I will feel hungry but at the same time dont want to eat. Many months ago i had huge issues with binging food, hiding food, obsessive thinking over eating food, and now im eating alot healthier but also experiencing other things related to food too. Trying to gain balance in my areas lol
Anyway, hope you all are doing well. I work this weekend si have to dtart getting ready for that.
There seems to be a bad flu going around here in this part of the UK im in too!
Glad your son is well and yes keeping him off sounds like a good idea.
Im wanting to put my tree up but i wait untik after the 7th of dec my sons bday i have just dont that since he was little but im so tempted as especially as his 20 and he isnt interested in the tree really
Your colour scheme for your tree sounds pretty.
Money hasnt triggered me for a long time but evry now and then like all the environmental factors like the time of night, payment going in all happen and it reminds me of me sitting there waiting to go to the shop and meet the dealer sometimes it causes a craving others i sit there for about 10 mins thinking of how negative the experience of just going to get it and waiting actually was.
Your such a lovely caring woman, all the people you have thought about making dreamcatchers for xmas i think that really says so much about the kind gentle person you are, such a beautifull soul and im gratefull to be able to share our journeys here together
Today is 21 days for me. The last few days have been tough I gotta admit. Not really that I wanna drink but it getting used to having to fill a void outta my day I’m not used too. It kinda sucks having to place a number too on the days I didn’t mess up, from here on out I’m just gonna be thankful for each day.
Hope y’all having a good day!
That’s life.
so your ready for for next time.
hope ur day improves. Hugs
you are on the right path yes 
i cant help it im so excited this year even though due to life circumstances the past 2 xmas i realised it is actually quite a sad time of year for alot of people. But i pushed my pain to the side and told myself this year im going to enjoy it with my son.