Still having mood swings. Seems like it changes every few hours. It would be nice if my mood was just balanced permanently.
Neither a mood high nor a mood low gets me drinking. Not today.
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Good morning all.
Your worth it. 
We find that no one need have difficulty with the
spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open
mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are
indispensable.
âThere is a principle which is a bar against all informa-
tion, which is proof against all arguments and which can-
not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignoranceâ
that principle is contempt prior to investigation.â
âHerbert Spencer
PEACE
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12 days. Check.
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Morning Check in
Day 278
Just checking in today. Had a really good sleep bcuz i disnt wake up at 530 for the gym. I just couldnt do leg day that early lol I started a new crafting project and have been working on that this morning. Have some errands to run today also. My son had been good with his temp! So maybe he missed the outbreak at school 
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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I am soo proud of you! You just have put sooo much energy and work into a healthier you! Im impressed. U inspire me honestly everyday. U really do!
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Good day todayâŚfeel pretty much over my funk the other day with lots of intrusive thoughtsâŚwhat i have i learned is that i can get through bad days and wake up the next day feeling alot better. My daughters teacher took me to one side at pick up time this evening to tell me that today my daughter had written a poem and was brave enough to then read it out in assembly to the whole school! Im am bursting with pride 
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Checking in day 75. Feeling a little better than yesterday, still feeling very tired overall. Work tonight, and then off all weekend. Looking forward to getting back to the gym routine and catching up on sleep this weekend.
Wishing everyone a happy sober Friday!
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Oh wow!! What a fabulous thing to hear! Proud of her!
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Day 63. Still AF AF. Hope yâall are doing well. God bless.
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Thank you Dana she was very pleased with her little self , bless her shes doing so well.
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2nd checkin. Day 119 AF
I have a hard craving to drink, SH or restrict eating to zero.
Called mum and we argued again!
Feeling like the last idiot. Want to escape from life by toxic behavior! F*ck
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Hey Jules.
Fuck that craving!!
Are you HALTING?!!
Seems like Iâm catching you on here when your craving. I wish I could help more. Iâm glad you shared.
Have you heard of HALT?
Is there something you can do to help ease your cravings?
Edit. I see it says binging at the top but itâs for any kind of addiction craving.
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Brian started this great topic.
Itâs kinda cool to see @I.cant.We.can use it in real time. Miss you Brian
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Thank you.
I am all of that.
I will go to the pool anyway.
There I am maybe not alone.
I am so lost sometimes last days.
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117 days. Feeling existential and left behind in life. But Iâm still not giving in to temptation.
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I was just thinking about you so popped on 
Me and my mum have a really love hate relationship but very quickly we can argue its something we are both working on because life is just too short, i wont go into details but she has a weird way of showing she cares and loves but deep down i know she does.
But what was making me think of you is tonight i am craving so bad, craving drink and craving to not be alone.
I have this guy we are really close like have been in love with eachother for many years, i havent spoke to him for 2 years but he keeps constantly trying to get in touch with me and i so badly want to meet up with him but if i do im going against everything i have worked so hard to not be and to not be apart of.
For me to meet him id feel i need to drink - so straight away i am not at a place in my sobriety where i can start a relationship back up or anything like it.
I know how quickly id turn into the person iv worked so hard not to be.
He also always has the drug cocaine around and i would use it when i drank, everyday i was doing this all day to block out and numb myself from a traumatic situation that has been ongoing for the past 2 yrs which i cant talk about as coming here helps me to escape those problems and concentrate on staying sober here is my safe place and il end up sad and triggered.
All im thinking about is getting dressed up and having one night of just âletting my hair downââ even thinking about it gets me excited but i then remind myself who i am and who i want to keep being, and its not a drunken cocaine mess hanging with a person just because im familiar with that scene. Theres so much more to come of our sober lives but at a steady safe pace where as if i want something i usually dont hang around and this has got me no where but trouble.
Then i remind myself how well im doing and do i want to chuck that down the drain all for what really is nothing good.
You can get through these feelings, the grass is already green for us why would we want to go back to what we know isnt good for us.
I hadnt shared this before but as we are both having similar feelings i hope it can help you some way to know your not alone, your doing so well and im proud of you, you deserve to meet someone that can give the relationship what you give it and nothing less we just have to be patient and for me i need to learn to love myself sober, to be kind to myself and love will come when its ready and if i am honest with myself im so not ready for it although i want it.
Im still building my life back together and for me this guy if i met back up with him all in 24 hours id ruin this life. Somedays are so lonely i want to scream, somedays im so sad i cry, somedays i dont feel like anything good is going to happen and i think why am even doing this staying sober.
But most days are good, they never used to be but there are more good days than bad, i know who i am now, i know what plans i have for my life, i am learning what truly makes me happy instead of trying to run away from myself.
Im learning to like what i see in the mirror and tomorrow morning i want to wake up being sure of myself knowing im strong inside and working on my own self love.
The thought of waking up after a silly night of making silly choices - i cant even bare to imagine that feeling in the morning.
Anyway i hope your okay, im here for you im not sure if any of this made sense as im feeling abit like my life is boring and why shouldnt i just âŚ
But i know im having delusional thinking iv got through these feelings many evenings before and i will again today.
I will wake up tomorrow safe and happy and sober.
Im going to read here, put a film on and make some food in a bit.
Im so glad your here 
P.s you need to eat something okay, if your going to feel bad for eating then just have some healthy dinner because your body needs it
Im thinking of you x
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Yes you will Twizzle. Because youâre worth it. Because sobriety is worth it. Itâs worth it so much more than all the other stuff you write about. Weâre so lucky to have you here. Youâre definitely absolutely totally not alone. Huge hugs and big love. And the same goes for Julia @Juli1 of course. Hang in there ladies. X.
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Thank you this really means alot to me to read your kind words.
This is so true and makes so much sense out of the confusing thoughts im having.
And thats all i need to do is to stay sober and this way i know everything is going to be okay.
Going off the rails would definitely only make these feelings x10 worse.
Your so lovely and we are lucky to have you here too !! I dont know what id do without being apart of this community
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