Day 99 free from alcohol
Day 80 free from toxic relationships
Day 16 imperfect regular eating
Had a nice, relaxing day…
Meditation was very good
Cleaning was good
Swimming was super nice
Meeting him was nice and super funny again
Siesta was nice
Cinema was nice
Sushi was nice
Russian wild berry on ice drink is nice
Now, I am tired! 
And… I am lucky… I have a lot of reflected thoughts, it’s like a puzzle…
Love this sober life 
Take care out there 
Free from toxic relationships…I find that so interesting and insightful. Keeping toxic people or enablers around us only encourages substance abuse, poor mental health and bad judgement…
Saturday afternoon on day 12. The morning was good but now I’m starting to struggle. Getting a bad headache so getting grumpy. Previously I’d be starting to drink around now. It’s tempting but I’m trying to resist. I know it would make me feel worse in the end. I’m tired but when I tried to nap my brain would not quiet down.
Thank you so much
I was very addicted to these disfunctional relationships and all the drama and especially to the on-off and hot-cold game…
To the hormon cocktail it causes and to the trusted feelings I know from childhood.
(last point is what I just found out months ago)
Alcohol was combined with it and in my last relationship also cocaine from his side. I had several alcohol fallbacks in that relationship.
I started re-programming and am working on it on daily basis by meditating, free writing and an online course. Ended contact with 2 persons. As it was an addiction, i am tracking it.
He is trying to contact me since weeks, last time yesterday again. He’s blocked, but it’s on a message from banned list if he is trying to call me. But I am staying strong and focused. On positive energy, myself and all the possibilities in life!
I watched you tube a few weeks back for tips and it really helped with my speed.
Yes i love my watch especially when i fiund out it was waterproof, since having it i am noticing i can swim for longer each hour, and can be consistent without becoming out of breath too quickly.
My 10 yr old cousin swims professionally she litrally glides through the water like a fish i have never seen anything like it!! She is actually 2nd in the uk swimming squad for her age group. She travels over the Uk in the competitions.
She teaches me some tips too.
I cant wait to go tomorrow!! Iv changed the tine i go sonnow i go around 4-5pm as i notice it helps me sleep better.
I usually do a fitness class for an hour before but i stopped for a few weeks so im going to start doing that again.
It really is amazing how it boost the brain and all the good chemicals it naturally makes to feel so good during and after the sports.
Well that is just fantastic! So happy for you!
Repeat after me:
“ I will not even have a glass or two of champagne at Xmas”
That stinking thinking is not good. It romanticizes it in your head.
Big hugs @Twizzlers
Day 141
25 days no smoking
Had a kind of drinking dream last night. I was at a beach party, maybe Goa, and lots of people I know were there. I said hi and went to the bar to grab drinks, I was considering what I would have but something felt off. Then, in my dream I was like, no, I don’t drink, what am I doing. And then I got a lime and soda.
Flippin brilliant 
my unconscious brain has got my back 
Day 2
WOW
It was probably my first saturday when I did not drinked on friday in years! I am too exited to say I did not remember when I slept so long. Woked up at 11! Can’t remember when I slept so long for years. Usually I wake up hangovered early in the morning or the sleep quality is terrible! Or I am sober, but need to go to work or have other plans or just can’t sleep longer.
Later did a trip with my girlfriend and her son. We went to Underground Nuclear Silo Base museum in North.
I always wanted to see this one. It is scary and impressive construction. I heard we have more like this one, others are abandoned and in a poor condition, but have more tunnels to go. This one had many closed doors unexplored. Also there was the basements of nuclear warheads itself somewhere deep in the forest, but we were not too exited to look for them, because there probably would be radiation too and we were running out of fuel.
@ktktkt Well done! Keep going!
@CoalTrain Welcome.
@Twizzlers Your addict brain is being very smart, be smarter. YOU know that is bullshit. Halloween, Christmas, tis the season of easy excuses. You won’t fall for it.
Day 810
Just emotionally exhausted. My son is struggling more at school, he seemed a bit better, but I guess he was just masking, and it came crashing down this weekend. I am trying to be calm and supportive, but all my daughter sees is special treatment for what she would not be allowed to get away with. It is sucking all my time and energy, and I would like some time and energy to work on my marriage, but again that is being pushed to the back burner. So resentments and dissatisfaction are just being left again. I have had a headache and nausea on and off for almost a week. My husband nags me to just sleep early, and says I am not taking care of my health if I stay up past 9 thirty or ten, but I want some time to myself! To do SOMETHING that is not work, or chores or kids!
Checking in. Day 22.
I was hoping to go to work after my Halloween gig today. My son had my car, and when he returned, there was a flat tire. Turns out there is a hole in the sidewall. And it cannot be repaired. It needs to be replaced.
Actually, all of my tires could use replacement. So instead of working, I’m going to be changing tires in the dark tonight. At least I know how to do it.
Day 65- feeling…… FOMO. All of my friends and my husband went to an event we bought tickets for tonight. I bailed at the last minute saying I had a headache. It was really that I didn’t think I could go and not drink. Not even just not drink. Get hammered. I know I made the right choice for me but I am feeling a LOT of regret that I’m missing out on dancing with my friends and fella and I love Halloween and I’m missing out on my chance to dress up for the year and I threw $20 for the entry ticket down the toilet. And I’m feeling shocked honestly that the longer I’m sober the harder it seems to get. I’m super glad that they are all having fun honest. And I can’t wait to see the pictures. And I DO understand that this was the right choice for me. the one I needed to make but still. Fomo. Pppbbbththth. I want to be…. Stronger? Less tempted? Different? I dont know. For now I’m trying to feel at least proud of myself for making the right choice for me even though it’s lonely
Evening Check In
Day 258
Work went well today. Came home and made supper. Just relaxing now while putting my boy to bed. Started another dreamcatcher tonight for a friend and sister in recovery! Really excited about this one 
Also got this badge/reward today. Kind of in shock but alittle proud too lol
Super proud of you!!! I’m right behind you on day 58👏
I’m sorry this was difficult, but yes you made the right choice. I know that doesn’t make it any easier. I am so proud of you♥️
Oh my gosh I feel you. I’m sorry this is difficult. I have no advice. I just understand and want you to know if I was there… Wherever you are, I would come over and bring you a tea and do your chores for you. I really am wishing you some quite peaceful time♥️
$20 bucks is worth your sobriety. Imagine all the cash you would blow on booze. You made a conscious decision to protect your sobriety. If thats not strength i dont know what is. Good job @Imcrafty
Thank you very very much 
