@ReeBee28 I’ve never heard someone mention working their willpower muscles but it really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing, it was a really powerful moment in my day.
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Day 2
Today has flown by. I’ve been on edge all day today. I know that this is par for the course with how I feel after a relapse but somehow I never seem to remember this part.
I realised as well that I am angry and frustrated with the situation I am in again. The worst part is I find myself not doing much else but waiting and fixating on the things that are outside of my control, such as worrying about whether my ex and the kids get to stay in the house or whether my flat purchase goes through. They are big things but they are things I have no control over.
Whilst I was away from TS I had some of my best days when I just focused on the present. I let go of the things that I couldn’t control and just went with each day, planning things, doing things and feeling empowered by the good choices I was making.
I will get back to that. I just need to remember how.
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My Drug and Alcohol therapist mentioned it last week to me and it really helped to see it like that. Our willpower muscles are weak in early sobriety and any workout will hurt and be hard. But just like a muscle that is used to lift gets stronger with weights (think of the weights as tests, temptation, struggles etc) so too does our willpower. I am happy to hear it reasonated and helped 
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Thats a beautiful number ther my friend!
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Ok so i have figured out how to reply but how to post now??? Thanks
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Im so glad to see ur post! I was thinking about u and ur event last night… hoping all went well!
I call these days “emotional hangovers”. Usually when i feel blah and worn out after having a really emotional day the day before (either with my rollercoaster of emotions or from a very triggered mentally exhausting day), i call them this lol
Im glad u stayed sober!!! Congratulations on passing that test! Proud of u for sure!!
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At the very bottom ull see a white reply button thats next to a Topic Control button (at least this is what it looks like on my phone). Click on that and it will reply as a seperate comment to the whole thread and noy just a reply to 1 person
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Day 245
Got up early, had coffee and bagels. Now im on the couch watching tv.
Im aware im 8 months sober today.
I have to breathe. Im so close to being less broke. I want to do well at this job. I want to grow as a cook. Im going to get orthopedic shoes bc wow, a lot of walking and standing. My body hurts. I made myself shower and will try to get some tidying done. But ive been vegetating on the couch all day.
Im glad to see all the milestones, they are all important. You dont get to the longer milestones without first getting to 7 days, 20 days, 30 days.
It is still hard at 200+ days, in ways that are just different. Instead of feeling lost and not being able to imagine myself not using, i look back on the constant smoking and lying to myself with absolute Horror. Giving myself the rest of the year to process that.
Tabouleh and air fryer potatoes tonight. Will see my sister. Kind of burned the day away, its 5pm already.
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Dexter new blood on prime is so good I binged watched all of house of dragons peak tv
Inside job on Netflix is funny as hell (anime)
Devil in Ohio is good so far only got to episode 4 at the moment
Inventing Anna is peak good watch imo
She hulk not to bad on Disney
I’ve got greys anatomy back on atm as background noice lol
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Hi TS swim club
Missed you at the pool 
Thanks for your words, swimming is for every level and everybody and there is always a possibility to develop and have new interesting kinds of training. 
I like it very much if we motivate each other.
Enjoyed it soo freaking much today. Unstoppable.
Had an hour of napping in the afternoon. Spinach with gnochi and salomon for very late afternoon lunch and a 75 min yin yoga session before swimming.
Tomorrow we have family time and my mum is cooking Ossobuco 
… Thank god, really need something to fillup now!
May I ask why you are watching “in the lounge”… What kind of lounge? Sounds like a hotel or a clinic. 
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I’m checking in. Day 29. I’m just going to say it.
If there was a recovering alcoholic out there that could get drunk simply by looking at the bottle or by thinking about the bottle…
Then I suppose that person would find a way,
To not look at it or think about it.
So for me, there are no excuses. It’s not enough to simply avoid the physical behaviors. For they are simply an extension, a symptom of my uncontrolled eyes and free racing mind. Having a zero tolerance policy when it comes to lust and fantasy is the only way for me to guarantee freedom from porn. I did not give myself permission to lust or fantasize today. In fact, I did not give myself permission to look any woman outside of my circle today. Nor did I yesterday nor the day before that. Over the past few weeks, I have had some days where I lost the battle in lust. But I’ve had more victories than defeats. I could have not done it without God. Submitting to His will is the best way to receive His power and presence.
And because of that, I know that I’m going to win this war. I will be victorious. And I will conquer.
Have a great day everyone
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Congratulations, try to enjoy every moment in your life!
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Evening of Day 2. Not to bad a day until a bad headache that started this afternoon. Now my anxiety is kicking in. Worried I’m facing another week of headaches from withdrawals. My own fault. Not looking forward to the time change tonight. My cats just don’t understand.
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This was my experience. As I got farther away from Day one, that regret turned to acceptance and gratitude. I remember when you first joined TS. You are knocking it out of park.
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Hello friends. Checking in on day 512. Drove to Wisconsin to buy a car. We simply needed a new vehicle to manage kid pickup and drop off. I don’t like how dependent one must be on automobiles in the US. Living in Europe for many years and never needed a car. Oh well.
On another note, something extra to reflect on tonight. Exactly five years ago tonight I ended up in the ER with a near fatal BAC and put on a psych hold/suicide watch. After this was the first time I started taking my mental health and sobriety seriously. I’ve had some bumps since then, but I am happy to be cozy in bed with a clear head tonight.
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I’m glad something I’ve said has helped! This forum has helped me tremendously…when I’m struggling and when I’m not. Congratulations on your days!! It’s a big deal!! 
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