The anticipation!
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I too used to find my time without my children (when they were staying with their dad) the most difficult time. On one hand I could relax and they didnt see me drinking. And on the other I missed them so much it made me drink more to numb the feeling. Now when they are at their dadâs I fill in my time with alcohol free activities that make me feel better about myself. I do yoga, therapy, craft, catch up with friends, study, work and most of all rest. Good on you for such a beautifully productive day of doing such lovely things for yourself. I know that doing those things will make you happier in yourself and in turn be reflected in the mother that your son sees when he gets home. Much love 
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Day 246
I woke up crying. Im so tired. I cried in the kitchen. Im eating potatoes, brownies, more air fryer potatoes. Im excited to go to work so I can just not be in my mind. Had the thought I really wanted a drink but ofc cant do that.
I clocked in on time 100% of the days last week. I can do that next week too. Going to eat an early dinner, go to bed early, and get up early.
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I too struggle with cleaning and household chores sober. I used to use amphetamines to do it and then when I got off the speed I stuck with alcohol to get me through it. Not as fast mind you but I got it done lol. Speed made me crave to be busy and then drinking took the boredom out of it. After I became sober it took me all of my strength to find the motivation to just walk to the toilet let alone do any chores. I just do one job a day now and spread it out. My house is actually cleaner now because I dont go on a cleaning frenzy that I then have to recover from for days and then it returns to mess during the recovery. I now manage to keep on top of it instead of having to do it all at once. I never really thought about it til now.
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Checking in 189 days free from weed and alcohol
My sense of wellbeing and joy is so high today. Maybe its getting things done on the weekend and not just sleeping off the hangovers. Maybe its a culmination of recovery work i continue to do. So fucking greatful i keep saying no to that first drink.
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For all the worrying ive done about how my drinking might of affected my 5 year old daughter emotionallyâŚlast night at bed time she looks at me with her big brown eyesâŚâmammaâŚyou the best mamma in the worldâŚi love you to the moon and backâ made everything so worth while
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I keep having this press feeling in my chest, solar plexus? And it feels not good. Last nigth before sleeping I thougt of my father, wondering what went trough his mind when he realised what was going on in his body when alcohol was killing him, the moment when he knew now Im dying, when he started bleeding from places, understanding this is the start of the end. Then I suddenly feelt intense press in chest and felt an overwelming feeling of sorrow. The feeling was so intense, I cried feeling so sad. And I promissed my father I would never do as him. I Wonder if the intense feeling of sorrow I feelt, was his? Maybe it sound wierd, but we allways had a spesial bond. Maybe this was a way for me to get a answer on what I always wondered, what he feelt in that moment.
Sorry for the long post. Im still sober, one day at a time, soon 11 months.
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Hey my fellow Aussie 
Yeah, to be honest, I kinda kept away from social interactions and places that triggered me too hard in my first few months. All I wanted to do was go back to the pub, join the contagious Sunday sesh vibes. But after a few months, Iâm talking more like 6, Iâm feeling more able to be able to go enjoy food and soft drinks out in nice settings that I used to drink in⌠with plenty of money and dignity in tact. It was this time last year I relapsed after 6 months of sobriety because I thought I could enjoy one or two during summer and Christmas and it just spiralled into full blown drinking, blowing money, guilt and bad choices. Iâm looking forward to actually enjoying this summer, swimming at all our beautiful beaches and swimming holes, hiking n nice family days out.
Donât be scared to turn down going out to places that trigger you to drink and going out in nature instead, over time your want to drink wonât so bad, and sobriety will feel so much better than the instant but ultimately toxic embrace of booze.
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222 days 
Good morning everyone. Have a wonderful day
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I would have your reply but I am out of quota for another couple of hours due to too much 
I am only at 42 days after relasping exactly the same way after being sober for months. I stupidly thought i was "cured " and stopped doing everything that had up until that moment kept me sober and I fell badly. I had to go through detox week all over again and felt absolutely heartbroken and so ashamed. I am just not ready for social outings that include drinking or the possibility of me being able to get access to alcohol and drink it in secret. I am hopeful though that time will come. But right now i am back to one day at a time and thats ok for now 
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Day 18, ending the day. Itâs the first time in months that I enjoy this amount of days being sober. Super grateful
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@Alycia congratulations!!! A very nice number
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Nice number!!! Ur doing amazing!!!
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once I have the money saved up Iâm probably going to have to find a roommate. I canât imagine Iâll ever be able to afford to live on my own.
my parents wonât let me cook because they say itâs a waste of their resources even if itâs food I bought with my own money. they say itâs their stove and their pans.
I want to learn to drive but itâs incredible scary to me and when I get to stressed I get really sleep and that happens every time I drive. I want to pay for a driving instructor but itâs super expensive and I donât have my own car. however my grandpa is looking into giving up his license and if he does I might ask if I can buy his car. I wouldnât be surprised if he just gave it to me honestly.
the previous teacher is actually the closing manager I work with and she is so much help. sheâs been giving me ideas and she actually took the time to teach me how to lesson plan. I may ask her for some example lesson plans I never thought of that.
I really gotta start getting help for the way I eat. I donât know how because in therapy I just donât follow what is asked. and i have no one to hold me accountable irl, my only friend is an online friend and I just lie to him. clinics arenât an option because Iâm overweight so no one thinks Iâm sick, theyâre so expensive, and I couldnât take the time off work since theyâre indefinite stays
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@KarenKW The first few days suck, no escaping it. But get thru them and stay clean and you never have to do them again. 
@C_8 Whoo hoo 
@Bomdhil Well done!
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Yaaaaaa lovely numbers!
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Well thatâs not very nice of them! I would totally buy you a cookware set! Idk if Iâm allowed to say that here but 
I think life skills are important especially in young adults. Maybe buying a car from your grandparents would be good for you. Youâre familiar with it (more so than buying from a stranger) so it would be less stressful in a sense.
Are there any big parking lots that have wide open spaces? Maybe you can practice driving there until youâre more comfortable behind the wheel. It helped me 
I was dxâd with an ED while overweightâŚitâs not as common, but I was inpatient so they actually saw my eating habits. If you feel like you have disordered eating then you do. No matter what the scale says. Just (try) to get something in your body to keep you from feeling sick or lightheaded.
Iâm not sure if my replies are helpful to you, but I hope they are. Youâre an amazing young lady and you deserve to be treated with kindness. Especially from yourself. Sending hugs
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your replies are always super helpful. thereâs a family large school parking lot not too far from me. my dad used to take me when I was like 16 and he was actually trying to teach me. chances are I have an ED and my therapist has said i have âdisordered eatingâ but I never really talk about how bad it gets. it was really really bad in middle school and itâs been better but Iâve been losing a fair bit of weight recently. I just donât want to add more diagnoses to the list. I know itâs not but in my brain it feels like the more diagnosed I have the more hopeless I get
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No. Donât look for a diagnosis, especially if itâs only going to stress you more. Look for a way to feel better about your relationship with food. I had to see it as a tool to maintain my body. Like a car needs fuel or a plant needs sun.
Because i am fine with not eating for days at a time. My weight fluctuates a lot still but i am trying to have a better relationship with food. No food is inherently good or bad. Itâs just fuel for our bodies.
The previews at the movies are almost over, so Iâll be offline for a few hours. Hope youâre evening is going better than the other day.
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