Whilst I have a different drug of choice I think the first few days are the toughest. Your body is going through the chemical withdrawal as well as the mental side of things.
You have done superbly to get this far. Celebrate each day as an achievement. You’ve got this.
107 days free from alcohol
88 days free from toxic relationships
24 imperfect regular eating
Had a nice cozy Sunday at my family. 
Back home now.
Right now I am feeling a bit like I don’t know…
Having real baaaaad thoughts about bodyweight, figure and feeling very tired.
Think I need to focus more, make my body smaller to be more beautiful!!! My stomach and tight have suffered from the years of high weight gain and high weight loss (both several times and in short time) due to the eating disorder.
Currently I am well trained, muscular, athletic, flexible but… Not skinny. I am a curvy trained, very fit and healthy girl. So what! Fuck all that thoughts! Really fuck that! I am eating healthy most of the times and I am no more restricting, measuring, counting and all that things I will drive to perfection in short time again… I just want to live!
And I just learned a better name for curvy:
JUICY 
Sorry for spitting out my feelings once more so freely here… Thanks for having this place!
Will nap a bit, hang around and
scroll through TS 
Hugs 
Day 3
I felt better today. I was a bit unfocused and irritable this morning but I set myself some things to do and did them. I have:
Bought a daylight lamp so that I can paint in the winter. I have come to realise how relaxing painting is and it feels like a big part of my recovery strategy. A way to be at home and relaxed without being triggered.
Painted for a few hours
Went for a walk (which really helped with the restlessness)
Spoke to my parents
Got some ideas down for a book I have been writing. Planning to do some actual writing this evening.
Listened to some podcasts.
So it’s been a productive day full of things I enjoy and things that will benefit me long term. I used to find the weekends without my son the most difficult. Slowly I am learning to use this time on self reflection and recovery.
Ahhh, thanks for explanation 
So I am very happy for you
Thank you so much for sharing…
That sounds wonderful
Sounds cool and reflected but still feeling wrong 
@CATMANCAM thank you so much for your words of support and encouragement! My shift went so well and it was great to experience it absolutely hangover free! As the day went on my mood lifted and I looked back at my thoughts versus my actions at the shower as an achievement instead of a failure. I could have chosen to take a bottle of wine and secretly drank it but i chose not to. And for that I am proud. I have no doubt that being a part of this community has contributed to my continued sobriety and better insight into my feelings surrounding this journey. It is posts like yours and others that give me the encouragement to keep going. Thank you so much 
The anticipation!
I too used to find my time without my children (when they were staying with their dad) the most difficult time. On one hand I could relax and they didnt see me drinking. And on the other I missed them so much it made me drink more to numb the feeling. Now when they are at their dad’s I fill in my time with alcohol free activities that make me feel better about myself. I do yoga, therapy, craft, catch up with friends, study, work and most of all rest. Good on you for such a beautifully productive day of doing such lovely things for yourself. I know that doing those things will make you happier in yourself and in turn be reflected in the mother that your son sees when he gets home. Much love
Day 246
I woke up crying. Im so tired. I cried in the kitchen. Im eating potatoes, brownies, more air fryer potatoes. Im excited to go to work so I can just not be in my mind. Had the thought I really wanted a drink but ofc cant do that.
I clocked in on time 100% of the days last week. I can do that next week too. Going to eat an early dinner, go to bed early, and get up early.
I too struggle with cleaning and household chores sober. I used to use amphetamines to do it and then when I got off the speed I stuck with alcohol to get me through it. Not as fast mind you but I got it done lol. Speed made me crave to be busy and then drinking took the boredom out of it. After I became sober it took me all of my strength to find the motivation to just walk to the toilet let alone do any chores. I just do one job a day now and spread it out. My house is actually cleaner now because I dont go on a cleaning frenzy that I then have to recover from for days and then it returns to mess during the recovery. I now manage to keep on top of it instead of having to do it all at once. I never really thought about it til now.
Checking in 189 days free from weed and alcohol
My sense of wellbeing and joy is so high today. Maybe its getting things done on the weekend and not just sleeping off the hangovers. Maybe its a culmination of recovery work i continue to do. So fucking greatful i keep saying no to that first drink.
For all the worrying ive done about how my drinking might of affected my 5 year old daughter emotionally…last night at bed time she looks at me with her big brown eyes…‘mamma…you the best mamma in the world…i love you to the moon and back’ made everything so worth while
I keep having this press feeling in my chest, solar plexus? And it feels not good. Last nigth before sleeping I thougt of my father, wondering what went trough his mind when he realised what was going on in his body when alcohol was killing him, the moment when he knew now Im dying, when he started bleeding from places, understanding this is the start of the end. Then I suddenly feelt intense press in chest and felt an overwelming feeling of sorrow. The feeling was so intense, I cried feeling so sad. And I promissed my father I would never do as him. I Wonder if the intense feeling of sorrow I feelt, was his? Maybe it sound wierd, but we allways had a spesial bond. Maybe this was a way for me to get a answer on what I always wondered, what he feelt in that moment.
Sorry for the long post. Im still sober, one day at a time, soon 11 months.
Hey my fellow Aussie 
Yeah, to be honest, I kinda kept away from social interactions and places that triggered me too hard in my first few months. All I wanted to do was go back to the pub, join the contagious Sunday sesh vibes. But after a few months, I’m talking more like 6, I’m feeling more able to be able to go enjoy food and soft drinks out in nice settings that I used to drink in… with plenty of money and dignity in tact. It was this time last year I relapsed after 6 months of sobriety because I thought I could enjoy one or two during summer and Christmas and it just spiralled into full blown drinking, blowing money, guilt and bad choices. I’m looking forward to actually enjoying this summer, swimming at all our beautiful beaches and swimming holes, hiking n nice family days out.
Don’t be scared to turn down going out to places that trigger you to drink and going out in nature instead, over time your want to drink won’t so bad, and sobriety will feel so much better than the instant but ultimately toxic embrace of booze.
222 days 
Good morning everyone. Have a wonderful day
I would have your reply but I am out of quota for another couple of hours due to too much I am only at 42 days after relasping exactly the same way after being sober for months. I stupidly thought i was "cured " and stopped doing everything that had up until that moment kept me sober and I fell badly. I had to go through detox week all over again and felt absolutely heartbroken and so ashamed. I am just not ready for social outings that include drinking or the possibility of me being able to get access to alcohol and drink it in secret. I am hopeful though that time will come. But right now i am back to one day at a time and thats ok for now 
Day 18, ending the day. It’s the first time in months that I enjoy this amount of days being sober. Super grateful
