Oh, I heard many times, that every disorder which affects the pancreas is extremely painful. So I wish you all the best!
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It was a horrible day 
No cooking today, Iāll order some chinese goodies and have a nice relaxing evening.
God, sometimes I hate people 
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I dont actually. I use my cold brew container and just lift the grind container out. And its left with whatever coffee it made. I do add creamer to it tho lol am i supposed to dilute it? I never have haha
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Day 688
Emotional day, little bit triggered by movie. Therapy is hitting the core, which literally makes some chakraās pop-open. Started crying, for a short while uncontrolled then I just let it go when it needed. Glad I could do it again. Things seems to start flowing again. Although the tears are mostly linked to the feeling of what I missed out due my addiction and emotional neglect. Feel like Iām soften and more and more let go of tensions.
Found back my bracelet I was given by my son 5-6 years ago or even longer. Couldnāt find it for a few weeks. Somehow that needed to be, to make me realize I need to walk beside him and not force myself on him. The past is the past, Iām there for him unconditionally and Iām there for him now and he knowsā¦
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Sending you some love and healing hugs 
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@Bomdhil i am super happy to hear youāre still on the path. Congrats!! This is awesome. Iām sorry I didnāt respond sooner, I have not been on this app in a couple days. I am only day 52 myself now but I can tell you, at least for me, it gets easier as you get stronger everyday. Every temptation you overcome makes you a little stronger. I am proud of you. Keep it up!!!
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Day 52, still here. Everyday has gotten easier. I wouldnāt be here without you all or this place. Truly. Thank you all and God bless.
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Haha nevermind. I brew mine for 20 hours. 12 hours is fine without dilution 
but 20 hour brew has to be. Hmm. Now Iām gonna look into why mine says to dilute and yours doesnāt ( Iām a coffee nerd 
)
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Please let me know! I mever tried a 20 hour coffee brew 
Im tempted now haha
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I hope the rest of the day turns around for you.
Sending you love and healing hugs
I know we hear it all the time āone day at a timeā
And ājust for todayā it took a while for it to click in my mind how that works but now i use it for lots of stuff daily in my life, especially my mental health i tell my self its ājust for todayā and it helps to look at just the day in front of me.
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No I didnāt drink, but the day was still horrible.
Now Iām home, time for me, to eat and relax.
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Coming back home from work by bike. I enjoyed the fresh air after this long day. I am getting mad of my boss, I asked for more money more than 1 week ago and no reply yet. I am hoping, that this isnāt a bad sign.
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Hard one today just dont want to be here it went from summer to winter fast wish we could recover that fast lol
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I found this online and admittedly I do usually keep it going a full 24 hours but the brewer I bought suggested 20 hoursā¦
Iām gonna go look at 12 hour brewers vs 24 hour ones and see if thereās a difference in the grind or something
This is what I found on Google
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For me itās like finding a piece of puzzle I wasnāt even looking for.
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Wow thatz crazy! I know mine dose suggest a courser ground coffee but i dont always use that bcuz its more expensive. The fine grind is okay but its bitter i find. Thanks for the info! Im going to try for a 20 hour steep 
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Struggling hardcore today.
Need to leave my job and find something that doesnāt trigger me to want to smoke.
I reset my 30 days this weekend but proud I made it that far. Any little bit is progress.
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I have so much free coffee itās crazy. I get a free pound every week and i drink as much as I want while I work so I donāt go through the coffee i have at home anywhere near fast enough. French press grind is best for cold brew so grinds donāt make their way into your cup but itās not the worst thing to use a fine grind
I sent you a message. Forgot to ask first 
sorry
Exactly! And your message reminded me of that 
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Ok I made the dayā¦
But have to reset the timer for
āimperfect regular eatingā to day 0!
After this night of destroying thoughts,
morning with tears and hopelessness,
I hurried to work and made my job!
I dissociated during work because of my boss doing too much bullshit decisions and nonsense. No more feeling my body in the afternoon ā¦
I binged (outing):
1 package of fat reduced chips
1 package of haribo vampires
Breakfast and lunch was a protein porridge with banana each. Not too bad, but I will reset because there is a direct line between my emotional setting, dissociation and binging.
After allā¦ Still sober. 
Will have a swim against 8 pm with funny equipment of cause and maybe a little Omlette as post workout dinner. 
Hugs 
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