I have woken a little later today (still 6am lol) after a very restful sleep. I have noticed that my quality of sleep has improved so much in the past weeks. I used to pass out at 9pm til 2am and then wake every hour til I decided to get up, feeling exhausted. Then when I first got sober I couldn’t sleep at all, then it was trouble getting to sleep then just sleep for a few hours then wake then go back to sleep for a few hours and wake again still feeling tired. Now I go to bed and fall asleep straight away and wake once to use the bathroom but go straight back to sleep until I wake to start the day. I feel like the sleep i get is better quality. The dark circles under my eyes are gone too!
Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend I had not seen in a few months and she was blown away by how different I looked and how happy I appeared to be. She knew about my struggles with alcohol and that I had decided to get sober but hadnt seen me since before my sober date. She was so proud of my progress and truly happy for me. There were tears of sadness from us both as I explained how bad things got but then tears of joy when I shared how different things were now. She also shared with me that after 12 years of being single after being cheated on by her ex husband, she had met someone she really liked and she had been on a date with him. It was such a lovely afternoon and something we are going to try to do once a month. We both put a date into our calender for next month while we were there to avoid forgetting or letting time to get away from us and not doing it lol.
My Drug & Alcohol Therapist Sally comes to my house every Monday afternoon so that happened yesterday too after lunch. We worked through how I felt during the baby shower on the weekend. I told her how tempted and distracted I was by the alcohol and I explained how strong my desire to drink still was when alcohol was anywhere near me. She acknowledged that I was not ready to attend social events where alcohol was present and how powerful my addiction was. Due to the fact that I take 2 different meds for my addiction and all the other tools I have put in my life to stay sober like therapy, AA, TS community, yoga, less work hours etc, she suggested trying hypnotherapy and see if that helps my uncontrollable reaction to being exposed to the presence of alcohol (just driving past a bottle shop makes me sweat and shake). I am going to get an appointment somewhere as soon as I find a hypotherapist.
My best friend who is expecting a baby has been admitted to hospital with broken ribs after a fall. She is 32 weeks pregnant and has a heart condition so may have fallen due to that. More tests will be done today. Her little one is doing fine through it all as she had an ultrasound to confirm this. I will spend the day with her today while her husband is at work and looking after his two children (from a previous marriage). She has been admitted to the hospital where we both work so I will be able to check on her tomorrow too when I am at work. I am trying to remain calm for her but I am terrified for her. This has not been an easy pregnancy from difficulties falling pregnant to her heart problems, painful pelvic symphasis separation (where your pubic bone literally splits in two) and now broked ribs. This is her first baby at the age of 40. Something she has dreamed of her entire life. I pray he is delivered safely and that she recovers physically and mentally from this. I am so grateful that I am sober and am able to be there for her in the way she needs me to be.
I will continue to take it ODAAT and wish you all a happy sober day.
I love ur craft idea!!! Ive never done miniatures before. I think it would really test my patience lol but i bet the end result is fabulous!!
I am doing dreamcatchers and christmas themed cupcakes this year for my sons school teacher, EAs, and other school staff, nurses, and bus transportation staff. They are sooo good to him and i really wanted to give presents to them. I didnt have enough money to buy them something so thought of making/baking stuff. The money i do have for presents is going to family, my husband, and son for xmas. But he has alot of support so there is too many people to buy for. Anyway, this is my project so far. Its a mini dreamcatcher for our pharmacists son. We have a really good relationship with our pharmacist lol she is such a sweet woman and always so helpful to us. She has a 1 year old son and i wanted to make something for her son. Its not done yet but the webbing is. Its literally 2" in diameter. Very small. Will be adding feathers next.
Today has been full of triggers. But triggers I couldn’t understand. I felt the symptoms of being triggered but I couldn’t work out the cause.
Having finally sat down for the day I think it’s because I’ve been trying to juggle to much mentally again. Getting back into my writing has been really good but trying to work out a knotty problem with the plot in my head whilst working and trying to juggle all the other things isn’t a healthy way to look at problems. I realise after today I need to focus on one thing at a time. My mind does not deal well with juggling multiple things at the same time.
I find when I do that that my mind seems to go into hyper mode. As if it’s working really fast with lots of rushing thoughts but I don’t get anywhere with the stuff I am thinking about. Like a car stuck in the mud, spinning it’s wheels and getting even more stuck. I have to back off at that point but I find it really hard as I get stuck in my own head.
A cold shower really helped when I got in.
I’m glad I’ve got to the end of a day filled with triggering feelings without giving in to them. I’ve been giving my willpower a good work out today. Time to be thankful for another clean day and recouperate.
Thanks @CATMANCAM I’m feeling a little worse for wear thats for sure, but will get there.
Woke up with a sore throat this morning trying to stay as chill as possible for the next week is going to be hard as I’m usually active all day at work.
Happy as I’ve made it this far!! Feeling very positive about my recovery this time around for sure.
Afternoon of Day 4. After a really rough morning of anxiety and panic, I was able to settle down a bit this afternoon and get some work done. Not as much as I would have liked, but it was better than nothing. Still feeling really anxious but it’s not at the level of full panic. Worried it’ll get that way again.
Oh Dana! That is absolutely beautiful! And so much detail for such a small creation. Well done! And what a great idea to give something from the heart that is affordable too. You are truly gifted my friend
You are such a blessing to have here!! Thank you all your advice, suggestions and recommendations have truly helped! Thank you for your support and helping me through.
Day 41. Longish day at work, so I’m beat. Two months ago, I might have stayed up late drinking, but the idea doesn’t appeal to me now. Now, I look forward to the morning coffee, and I actually enjoy it more. Happy sober days to all and to all a good night.
Thank u so much! That is one of my simplier designs but the tiniest one i have done so far. My all time favorite was this one i did for my son for his 1st bday. Its 20" in diameter fox themed as his spirit name is fox.
Checking in on day 28. feeling incredible today. Had the energy to start making a real feasible plan for all the debt my addict self racked up it’s a big number, but so much more doable now that I am running those numbers with a clear mind. Plus, knowing I am saving HUNDREDS a week on booze/drgzzzz I feel confident in my abilities to stick it out.
Proud of everyone for making it another day with me.
fox themed as his spirit name is fox.
