Lol your welcome and funnier thing is, is that it has been raining 
since last night 11-7-22 and down pouring this morning non stop 11-8-22ā:rofl:
@ReeBee28 the motivation definitely helped, zi have completed all my jobs now and it feels so nice. I wish I could establish a better routine so it stays nice, I got completely out of sync while I was in a bad depression for 7 years and zive never been able to get in a routine since, I find Iām only able to blitz it when I have people coming round. Stranger Things was so good! Iāve finished that now too 
Iām so sorry to hear about your friend and yohr step-daughter, and I am hoping everything works out okay 
@Misokatsu sending strength 
I hope today was better
@HBT congrats on double digits 
@Tyland congrats on your week
@KarenKW I hope your appointment goes/went well
@Rockstar24777 sending strength the camping trip sounds like a much needed break, Iām excited for you
@KrispyMac sending strength I hope things balance out for you ASAP
@Sirluca congrats on your week
820 days no alcohol.
285 days no cocaine.
I finished Stranger Things today, it was pretty epic and left it wiiiide open for another season sometime in 2024, I would have preferred a better ending but trying to be excited for another season.
I also completed the rest of my jobs and Iām proud of that.
Hoping to get back to swimming tomorrow now that the cleaning is all done. The man is coming to try to deal with my candlewax stain first thing tomorrow morning, I know my cats and I will be super anxious whilst heās here, but Iām really hoping he can remove the stain and Iāll be so grateful if he does 
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Thank you for your mention! I am so happy I could help! I got myself a big white board and I plan what I have to do each day and tick it off as I do it. Gives me a visual representation of how much I have achieved. It has helped me so much!
Things are stressful right now but I know I can face them better sober so thats what my biggest achievement will be today. To stay sober 
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Speaking of Stranger Things, a lot of this last season was filmed in my hometown in Georgia! The Creel House is about 5 mins from my house and Iāve been to countless weddings there over the years. It was super cool seeing it in the show!
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Oh My Godā¦ its crazy how small this is!!! Great job! The detail is soo cool! Im super impressed! Whats ur next piece?
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Checking in. Day 32
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Day 5
A more positive day today. I felt more like myself.
When I realised that today it made me stop and think how far Iāve come since I joined this community back in May of this year. Before I would probably have seen the good days as rare moments of sunshine between dark clouds that I couldnāt understand what they were. Now Iāve had enough time (whilst sporadic) to see what I could be.
Itās not easy and I am still getting triggered but each day is another day of freedom.
As @Matt pointed out earlier in this thread, I feel like I have a lot of energy. Today Iāve used some of it but I am also making a conscious choice to stop a couple of hours before bed and just rest, wind down and see this day though.
Looking forward to tomorrow and what it brings.
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Afternoon of day 5. Gave up on work early. Feeling stuck and depressed. Headache came back too. The craving to drink is really strong. Iām tired of everything and want an escape. Everything just feels awful right now and for the past few weeks. I donāt feel strong enough to tough it out. On the outside my life looks fine without any major problems. But my mind is so clouded with depression. It darkens every second of every day. I donāt have much of a support network. I donāt want to bother people. I feel like Iām whiny and needy and donāt like that. I probably wonāt drink tonight. I changed into my pjs so Iām less tempted to leave the house. Itās only 4pm and I donāt know how to get through the next few hours until I can sleep. I try reading or watching tv but have no focus. And my head hurts too much to really do any exercise. I guess I am just whiny. Iām sorry.
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6 months AF today, checking in.
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Im sorry its bad. Keep checking in here.
The sad thing is alcohol is only deceiving you into an escape. It doesnt do anything for depression after a timeā¦what hurts you underneath it always comes through.
The last months of using were Hell for me because id keep using more anxiously and never was able to relax. So the cravings lie to you.
Something i did when i felt like you are was comment on other peoples posts struggling with relapse or temptation and encourage them. Easier to find the words for them than for myself. Id also just hide in my room, wait for time to pass, and tell myself i deserve only 2 weeks/30 days alcohol free just to see what its like.
Id also eat and drink, and go to movies. What are your favorite things to eat and drink, if that helps? Id always have something i like to drink around, in the beginning it was pots and pots of coffee.
Best of luck, Karen, I see you fighting. 
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Congrats 
on your 6 months
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Day 29ā¦.made it to town, the grocery store and the hardware store without buying any alcohol, home safe and painting for the evening :). I set up a plan in the parking lot that allowed me to shop the aisle closest to the liquor section first and move away from it quickly. By the time I was done with my list I would have had to go all the way back across the store to impulsively buy! I didnāt really have the urge to buy, let alone drink but I know if I set myself up for success I am more likely to succeed 
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Thanks for your response. It means a lot.
I havenāt felt at all up to cooking. I do have homemade cookies that my friend brought and am eating a few too many. I usually have dark chocolate around as a treat. I enjoy my morning coffee but have to limit it due to my anxiety. Itās mostly water for me all day. Maybe I need something more interesting.
Iām definitely just hiding in my room waiting for time to pass and going to bed around 7pm.
Thanks again for your kind words.
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Sounds like a tough situation where you want the best for her but could end up looking like the bad guy just trying to help without the support from her dad being on the same page together.
I do get a sense and i could be totally wrong but it sounds like maybe she is struggling alot more than any one thinks, maybe falling behind at school and this has led her to feel she is too behind and is overwhelmed and also worried about her mum and you mention its a big change and it is for all of you at the moment and maybe it is more of her struggling thats affecting her.
I only say this is i have done alot of mental health courses for children and it would make sense maybe she is struggling and worried.
I think your doing the right thing bringing it up and trying to help, maybe she could do with a chat one on one with you maybe not about school work maybe have a girls day together 
I dont know if my advice fits your situation properly its just from what i read here.
You care alot and it shows i hope things smooth out for you all and that her mum gets better too.
Your doing so well with your sobriety and trying to support her and sometimes as parents we just want the best and sometimes that is tough love too.
Wow your mini furniture is so cute, are you making your own mini house to go with it ? Like a doll house. That actually looks like so much fun.
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Hey Karen! Can you go to rehab? It would give you a great way to kick these withdrawals and get in firmer ground. I had to go twice. I have a career and it was hard, but it saved my life and Iām working at same level again.
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Not whiny, 5 days into abstinence. The first 10 days are the hardest so try to give yourself a break. Youre doing a great job, looking forward to your check in tomorrow.
Congrats on making good choices like getting into your jammies.
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Evening Check In
Day 268
Honestly tonight has been hard. Ive taken tylenol bcuz my head is pounding. Every piece of technology is on like full blast (my husband works with loud machinery all day doing construction so i swear his hearing is shot), my son is also struggling to listen tonight, not using nice words and slamming the door on me thinking its a joke. I chose not to feed into it. I dont have the energy. I did chat with him about his language and what other options he can use when hes mad. I told him theres a time and place for playing and that when mommy says no, she means it. Im not one to scream outright but inside in my head i am! And its giving me a headache. I need my downtime. Every single night is loud and busy and exhausting. Either im getting old and hate everything loud now or this is a sign that i need better self care. I get time during the day just for me but i end up being busy doing a million things. I have to start incorporating meditation again or something to calm my head. The more I meditate and make it a daily practiceā¦ the more it begins to work and i start seeing its effectiveness even when i am not currently doing meditation. It just helps me manage my emotions. I have to admit thoā¦ im proud of myself for how i handled things today. But im ready to burst into tears honestly bcuz im emotionally at my limit. Thanks for letting me vent TS fam
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Time will definitely pass! Another sober day, that is amazing.
Its definitely worth making sure you have some food and hydration beyond cookies. ( though homemade ones are A+!) Having something interesting to sip on that isnt alcohol was honestly so helpful and distracting. It makes bad moments a little happier.
For you and anyone who may be interested, i feel like typing a list of nice drinks. Maybe seeing something here will inspire.
Soda: 2L fountain beverages are inexpensive: coke, dr pepper, orange soda, mountain dew,
Root beer
Fancy craft soda in a nice bottle
Seltzer, many flavors
Fruit juice
Combination of fruit juices
Ginger ale or seltzer + fruit juice
Soy, almond, oat, milk
Apple cider
Hot apple cider with orange juice and cloves
Tea - green tea, herbal tea, chai tea, fruit tea
Arnold palmers
Hot cocoa! Different recipes or plain swiss miss
Water with chopped cucumber+mint, or chopped lemon, or oranges, or limes
Vitamin C packets
Gatorade+vitamin water
Kombucha
Energy drinks
Apple juice is good for bad stomachs or at least personally when i am sick.
If im at the store and even a little tempted, i decide to get a nice non alcoholic beverage, it still feels like a Treat so thats nice.
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Is there any type of detox program where you live? That would at least get you through the withdrawals. I had terrible trouble concentrating in the beginning. Podcasts helped me tremendouslyā¦.specifically ones about people struggling with alcohol and sobriety. Just a suggestion.
I know this is hard as hell. But I promise you it gets a little better every day. Just hang in there!
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Day 248
Excited to be on time for work tomorrow. Weird feeling. Early early early. Didnt get everything i wanted to done but i did set the timer and tidy random things for 15 min. Got an annoying patch of shit on my desk and some random trash. Worth it.
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