Day 866. Was up again at 2:30am and wide awake again. Not sure what I’m doing wrong. Work has been intense and highly stressful for me and I’ve been completely exhausted mentally. I’ve been very foggy mentally with a weird pressure in my head and very very agitated by people which is unlike me. I have no idea what’s going on with me but it’s crazy. Today is my Friday so that means I’m trail bound first thing in the morning. I hope you all have a great day today, love you guys!!! 
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Checking in with 32 days sober. I feel good this morning. I have been taking care of tasks that I put off for a long time. It feels good to be productive. 
Have a blessed day everyone!
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Day 96 AF
Day 76 toxfree
Day 13 regular eating
AF: sober of cause
I passed yesterday’s difficult emotions of feeling dirty and ashamed …
Just let them be there for a while, napped a while, got myself ready to go out for group therapy. I was wearing lipstick again since… I don’t know, very long time, in a dark chocolate tone. Was talking about my emotions and in group therapy for a while and it totally passed.
Toxfree: of cause…
All channels blocked…
Everything is silent.
Being aware of who I am in contact with…
Have a date for swimming again on Saturday, but that’s just a very slow flirty thing and it’s okay how it is and cultivates. It’s constant contact and no drama, and that is very healing.
Eating regulary: not bad but imperfect, and that’s okay, not putting big drama in it, just eating and sometimes not eating if I don’t want to.
Found a very cool YouTube short about body types over the centuries today that totally catched me! Recomandable for everybody struggling with body picture… 
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Maybe nature is just what u need to reset and “fill ur cup” again 
hope ur day is slightly better at work
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You have 9 days sober!!! Thats something positive!! The first week is the hardest and you did it!! You’re awesome!
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no not really. I just always have yarn in my hands. I can’t sit still so I just crochet all the time so my hands have something to do
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Day 62- and I had my first drinking dream. In the dream I had a drink with dinner with a friend and nothing crazy happened but it also wasnt that spectacular and then I had to check in today at a day one and THAT felt terrible. Just confirms that the struggle is worth it.
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Well done triple triple digits! 
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Im not sure of the exact situation but if u feel there was injustice and u stood up to that. I am very proud of you! That says alot about who u are as a person. Way to go!
Huge congratulations great work!!!
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I know its weird to be buying xmas gifts so early lol we havent even done halloween yet lol but bcuz i dont work very much (only weekends), i dint have the funds to buy everyone their gifts last minute. So i sort of plug away at it overtime and then that way its not a huge financial strain either. I got my hisband 1 thing and our son 2 things so far. I also have my xmas cards that i have to write out and send off in december. I love xmas i excited to spoil people!
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I always crochet while I watch tv, whether it’s sports, shows, movies. All my friends are getting blankets!
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I love that!! They are so lucky!!
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Most of the times I buy gifts during Black Friday on Amazon, because the 60 % discounts. It’s not about being cheap. I do this, because then I can afford gift, which I normally couldn’t.
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I like that! Its true. Things can be sooo expensive. And ultimately… the holidays is for spending time with family and friends and enjoying each others company (although family gatherings can always be stressful too).
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Morning Check In
Day 255
So I think taking my previous med has been okay so far. They started me at a low dose for 1 week and then will work my way up. I had some minor side effects but i dont feel as ill like I used to. Maybe my meds were interacting with the drugs in my system back then… idk. But now that my body is completely clean and sober, maybe the medication can work like it should.
I wasnt feeling well in my head last night. Very scattered thoughts and more sensitive than usual. I opened up to my husband once our son went to bed and we actually chatted and he was soo supportive. Gave me a hug and gave me some helpful tips to get thru it. I loved it honestly bcuz back in the day, his idea of “helping” me was telling me to stop feeling this way. Very cold and abrupt. I always felt like i didnt matter to him and that he couldnt be bothered with me. And recovery has given us the ability to drop our selfishness and care about each other more and communicate better.
My sleep has been horrible for like 4 days. Im not liking this 
I feel really tired today but will continue on with my usual activities. Workout, good food, and a walk outside later i think. My son has school pictures today so im excited about that!
Will probably work on my dreamcatcher today also.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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I am so proud of you for going to a detox facility! You will be medically supervised and safe while detoxing. So important! They can help set up your next course of action that’s best for you….inpatient, outpatient, therapy sessions, whatever.
“Playing the tape back” can be a VERY useful tool for staying sober. Just remember what this feels like. And know that you never have to feel like this again! Good luck to you 
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Checking in for day 30.
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,552. Feeling lots of positive energy today. Thinking about how sobriety is something we have to make happen for our own selves…Bitching, whining or holding anyone to account other than our own selves is a fools errand.
God Bless!
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