Hi guys, sorry I haven’t been around lately but life has been so hectic for me. Hurricane Ian, a nine day trip to Maine, my trip to DC with Honor Flight and now another major storm getting ready to hit Florida. I feel like I’ve gone through so many experiences and emotions in the last month but it’s been mainly wonderful.
I got a wild hair and booked a cruise for January for four nights headed to Bermuda. My first cruise and going with my granddaughter. I got awesome news tonight and I’m so excited and happy that I can’t sleep. Some of you might remember me sharing about finding a half brother when I did a dna test. We talk all the time but he’s in TXand I’m in FL. Tonight he booked a cabin just down the hall from mine. He is going on the cruise with us. I get to meet my brother in real life!! My heart is so full of love, joy and excitement right now.
I will try to catch up reading tomorrow since we can’t do anything but shelter in place and watch for flooding. I hope all of you have a blessed night.
Omg lady!!! I am so excited for you mtg ir half brother! I absolutely do remember u menrioning that! I cant wait for u to share all about that (if u choose to). Im glad uv been safe with all those storms. I bet thays scary to experience. Im glad to see u posting. Huge hugs!
I hope you see the progress you’re making especially when you feel like you do now. You have a job, you’re making money , you are not self harming even when you feel like you might want to. These are big strides forward for you. You get an A+.
As you go forward it will often be three steps forward and one or two backwards ….
I can’t even believe your parents snd their attitude about the kitchen. You realize that’s toxic.
I’m proud of you. Big hugs for when the bad stuff seems to be taking over. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
@Butterflymoonwoman I can understand your fears. But you have learnt so much thru your own struggles, you can now be a great guide to your son. You can be the break in the chain. And the fact you are thinking of this now means that you can intervene and be procactive if issues start to arise so he doesn’t follow the same path.
@SadMemeQueen Deep breaths. Although your life up until now feels long, you have longer ahead of you. Who knows what changes and improvements will come. It is not impossible. I remember feeling trapped and hopeless at home with my toxic mother. It may take time but you can get out. And it is ok to feel sad or angry just because you feel it. You don’t need to justify it.
Grace is a beautiful thing. straighten your crown queen/king. And let God keep working on you. It’s a wonderful (sometimes painful) process. But the person you’re becoming is worth meeting.
So relieved to read you began to feel better! I am so sorry you were so overwhelmed and felt so close to caving. I am so proud of you for working through all that stress without harming yourself, contacting that toxic arshole or getting drunk. Hugs to you
You are doing everything you can to break the cycle and are a wonderful role model for your son. He is being a typical kid and testing his boundaries. Just keep reminding him of your expectations regarding his behaviour and giving him a consequence when he behaves in a way that is not acceptable. None of us as parents are perfect but you are putting in a huge effort and that is enough. Hugs
Checkin in day 197 af. Had a few relaxing snow days and got a bunch of shit taken care of at the house. Nack to work tomorrow evening. Been doing good about my intermitten fasting and getting some excercise. Still sitting around 225. Goal is to be by down to 210 by the new year. Havent been below 220 since i was 18. Im akmost 33. Turns out 15 years of black out drinking doesnt help ya cut weight much… hope you all are having success and making leaps forward in your recovery. Much love yall!
@Juli1 I am seeing posts saying glad your feeling better, i cant find the post where you werent okay but i am glad your feeling better and hope everything is okay.
@onthewagon31 congratulations on your 197 days thats amazing! I am still trying to keep an exercise routine and eat as healthy as possible but i can remember for like 7 months trying to lose weight and the scakes literally didnt budge no matter what i did. I made lifestyle changes instead and its dropping off finally !!
@Mno Just imagining myself walking across or even jogging across that beach is lifting my spirits Good morning congratulations on your 1251 days.
@SassyBoomer Its great to read your update and im glad your okay.
Wow this is amazing news about you brother how exciting and lovely that your all going on the cruise together i bet your all really looking forward to sharing quality time together.
Stay safe through the next storm and its great to see you post
@Minatasha 249 days is amazing !! Almost the big 250 congratulations your doing so well
@SadMemeQueen your the same age as my son wow i feel old (im 37) my son is 20 too.
You are a strong lady, you may not feel it so im telling you you are loved and cared about, you have come so far, myself and all of us here have watched you grow and blossom into a beatifull flower, your still so young and its great you have ambition and want more from life and you deserve it along with a happy life and happy loving people in it to share with. Your so young and things will change and get better you are on the right path to be able to one day walk away and just visit and leave when you want.
What your doing right now with your job your promotion is laying down the foundations for your self. Your doing amazing i dont like to see you sad or doubt any part of yourself because i know im the other side of the world but i have watched the change in you with your confidence and building a life for yourself and i see how amazing your doing i hope you can have moments where you see this for yourself too
@Butterflymoonwoman I understand your worry, but i believe this is just him growing up and learning about himself and alot of boys go through this stage, it is healthy in some ways i guess as he is learning through it.
Your an amazing Mum, and kids act out and do silly things sometimes and it doesnt mean there bad or your bad and your there with him to guide him through so dont be hard on yourself.
And OMG 269 days!!! Wow im so damn proud of you !!
Great list! You have some real gems in there. Thank you for kindly sharing and being open. I love the honesty with it. I find with alcohol I lie to myself and tell myself it’s ok when it’s not. So this list has inspired me to be more honest
111 days free from alcohol
92 days free from toxic relationships
2 days imperfect regular eating
My mood is much better today.
I will restart my daily journaling with writing positive thoughts or counter thoughts in the morning. (missed that for about 2 weeks)
Just starting a new notebook today.
Will have a second round job interview in the afternoon and my 90 minute yoga class in the evening.
Thank you so much Twizzle. It was just overwhelming yesterday and I felt hard pressure to do any toxic behavior… (like contacting tox ex guy, self-harm, destroying things or even drinking) any kind of kick out of these feelings.
It was too much for me that day.
Toxic ex thing triggering as he is still trying to contact me (message from the blocklist) and I met a girl that is living in one of the appartements were he is living too.
But NO… WON’T get back in contact.
Focus back on healing, selflove and just some calming void!
It can be hard with him calling and then meeting someone who lives in his block but your doing so well, and you will meet someone, someone who is good for you and its great your staying on track here as one meeting with this guy coukd ruin everything especially if he can make you not feel good about yourself thats a relapse situation- for me it would be.
Just by swimming, yoga going to the cinema and doing these things you enjoy you will meet someone with similar interests. I know its lonely and boring but it is worth it im so proud of you
Im so glad today you feel better and that you came here to let it out instead of sitting with the feelings or even acting one them.
Ohhhh Twizzle… These warming words!
Just had some tears running down my face, no sadness tears, just releasing tears because of feeling so much understood!
straighten your crown queen/king. And let God keep working on you. It’s a wonderful (sometimes painful) process. But the person you’re becoming is worth meeting. 
(im 37) my son is 20 too.
