Evening day 3. Logged out of work and immediately broke down crying. I’ve had to be “on” all day training new people and attending meetings. Normally I don’t have to deal with other people and it’s exhausting. I feel like I’ve used up all my strength and ability to cope just getting through the workday.
I’m mad at myself and the world that I can’t unwind with a drink. It’s just not fair.
All I can do now is curl up under a blanket and cry.
Checking in. Day 38
I can understand the not fair feeling esspesally when people are drinking around you.
Just remember that your sobriety is for you
A journey just for you
It’s very good your going through the day without relapsing
I had to even learn how to walk normal in my past sobriety attempts. Literally walking felt different
Try to treat yourself to treats or gifts for you
It gets better i know this
Day 11
Thanks to @Mno and @CATMANCAM for the kind words.
I’m very tired today. It’s a busy time and I’m feeling like I’m being pulled in multiple directions. This is usually a trigger to dive back into my DoC. I haven’t though. I just concentrated on today. It was busy but I spent some time with the kids after work (which I always cherish especially as I don’t get to see my step daughter much anymore) and I met up with friends for a regular game night.
Tomorrow I am going to focus on just taking things one thing at a time. This is going to be a tiring week but I’m just going to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
Sending all the positivity I can to everyone on the forum. You are stronger than you know.
@Charlie_C Congratulations 
Such a great achievement!
@Twizzlers Sorry to hear about your uncle. I hope there is positive news about the next step soon.
@CATMANCAM I hear you about binging making you feel mentally and physically rubbish. Sending good vibes to get you in the pool tomorrow to get those endorphins pumping!
@ReeBee28 Recovery is not always sunshine. Thanks for sharing.
@Newlife5 That is the first step. Looking back, feeling just done was the start of my recovery.
@KarenKW Hugs
Day 254
a hard day. A lot has happened.
Last night was a lot too. I did do my 15 minutes of tidying before bed, even after the sunday blues initiative i took. It made a difference.
I was on time to work as well. Im going to keep up the tidying tonight.
It’s been a couple of years, one month and twenty-five days since I’ve had anything more mind bending than tea to drink and the only white crystals I’ve had is sugar.
Things are going well, or at least on the upswing. I woke up this morning feeling mostly normal after a good night of rest. I actually thought briefly, “I’m normal again. I don’t have to do all that stuff I was talking about yesterday.”
And then I realized that’s been my problem: lassitude. When I was stuck at the homeless shelter, I was a go-getter. I’d get up at 4am and walk 2 miles to the day labor place. After a few months, I’d get into my own place and just get complacent.
So my new morning routine: 1) Get up at the same time even if you aren’t doing anything that day.
2) Make your bed and take a shower, even if you’re not going anywhere
3) Eat something even if you’re not hungry
4) Pray or meditate @Butterflymoonwoman made the awesome suggestion to just pray like you’re talking to a friend. I figure the HP I’m supposed to have will reveal themselves if I’m sincere about this.
Anyway, today I got a call to reschedule the appointment I missed. Which is good because they’re going to evaluate my breathing. And my job advisor is going to go with me to talk to my boss about getting my job back. Don’t know what to tell him, but it’s worth taking a chance.
Hope everybody is having a great evening! 
P.S. Congratulations to @Charlie_C Two years is fantastic!
Checking in on day 60. Had some work travel last week and happy to be at home in my little routine right now. Have a great day everyone 
Sooo happy for you Mark! From last night’s post to todays, there is a HUGE difference! Im so glad that ur making these changes and realizing what will work for you! Really happy to hear such a big change in such a short amount of time!
Thanks! I also need to find some kind of physical activity that won’t wear me out. When I just sit here, I feel myself slipping into the old self pitying thought patterns even though today was great. I feel like that will change in time.
BTW, I’m back on my patches so I had my last (hopefully) cigarette. 
Evening Check In
Day 274
Today has been pretty busy. Workout and grocery shop. No time for Bible Study bcuz i needed to get these things done before my son got hone from school. I shouldve probably gone to that tho and made time. Next Monday i will for sure.
I recieved a nice compliment today from a cashier who sees me ALL the time. She said my face has slimmed down! Nice to know that my exercise efforts are showing i guess 
Felt good! It was either that or because i contoured my face with makeup today (she never sees me with makeup on). I mean ill take the compliment either way lol
Tmrw I work a 3 hour shift. Will be nice to make a littke extra money. Hope all goes well tmrw. Will have to wake up at 530am to get a workout in though. Hopefully i can wake up in time.
Other than that everything has gone well today. Some very small brief thoughts about using. Not sure why they popped up but everythings fine. Have a great night everyone!
I understand this. When I was still working as a PT I went to work, smiling and understanding and listening face on and as soon as I opened the door to my apartment I fell apart. And I drowned that exhaustion with wine every single night. Which stole my sleep and rest and contributed to my exhaustion as well. I cannot even say what was so hard. It was just a global, neverending heaviness. I have this picture of a Duracell bunny in my head. In the end battery was low.
Keep on going, one day at a time. I might have forgotten what stands against a IOP or another therapy.
Day 45
I’m awake since 3 am with a migraine. Now it’s almost 6.
Had to tell my colleagues that I won’t make it today.
When having too much stress, no matter if it’s a whole day or only 1 hour, my body freaks out and bam: migraine.
But only if I’m on my period or when my period is due the next days.
Sometimes it doesn’t help to do calming stuff like I did yesterday. The damage already happened.
So I’ll stay in bed and rest.
I hope you’re having a better day as I do? 
Checking in 127 days AF 
Been feeling good…i think. So many ups and downs just trying to find the balance in life. I have been feeling a little less depressed 
Therapy seems to be helping!
Day 2 checking in. Feeling super grateful to not be hungover… it’s been a while.
Every morning for months my first thoughts have been nothing but negative and dread, not today! I’m not letting myself do that anymore.
This morning I drink coffee and exercise before work. Happy sobering everyone
Still on day 8. Though I couldn’t sleep well, I am clear in my mind and peaceful in my thoughts. My mood swings are getting better.
Congratulations @Charlie_C Super proud of you. ODAAT you’re doing it. Lot’s said on that coin.
Yes I do…!
But I am also very afraid of a new job.
It’s also challenging to check in to a new environment.
But at least, I have to do it, time is ready.
Whole application process is stressing me.
But i will keep going.
Hi Mark,
establishing a new morning routine sounds nice. I am happy to read your report and glad to hear from you by daily checkin. 