So magical
I hope your son is feeling better today Dana 
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Day 7
The first week is on the horizon!
Started work at 5:45 am. Then psychologist. Now Iām at my dadās. In hindsight I probably shouldnāt have gone to him so soon since we mostly watch TV when Iām thereā¦
But I brought the first game of thrones book and Iāve got plenty of crosswords with me as well, so Iāve got healthy alternatives.
I do notice some obsessive behaviour on my phone, so Iām going to have to think of some clear boundaries so the addiction canāt creep in.
Iām thinking of allowing TS, WhatsApp and 30 minutes of news each day. Or only sticking to my news app and not reading news on the internet.
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@Ptrnjna welcome 
@Jasty2 welcome back sorry to hear youāve been struggling, but pleased you are taking action for your recovery 
congrats on your week 
@Wolf182 congrats on 40 days
865 days no alcohol.
330 days no cocaine.
Battling hard today with my eating disorder. Disappointed in myself for recently giving in to binges, and the resulting weight gain. I need to do better. Holding on to the fact that itās day 98 without a takeaway, and if I can do that, I should be able to cope without the rest of the stuff Iāve been eating. Just need to stay out of the shops.
I havenāt heard back from the therapist I reached out to yet, but maybe heās on a break for Xmas and didnāt set an out of office. I will wait.
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I just happened to see this ā nice round number so I thought it was worth a capture. Have a nice sober day everyone!
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Checking in at day 49
I messed up communicating my sober number the other day. I thought my trimmer meant 37 when itās actually 47
Day 49 today streight through
Iām feeling strong
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Iām checking in. Day 77
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Checking in
Day 313
This morning i completed a workout and then had my green tea. Im trying to eat better today since the past couple days have been pretty bad.
My son appears to be doing a bit better. Still higher temp but hes getting mad and frustrated with his ipad game, and as much as i hate it when he gets upset over n over with an ipad game, at least i know he has the energy to get mad. Hes on the right path to good health!
Trying my best to not worry right now about overnight care for my son. Our full time nurse is working her 4 shifts in a row. She had to take a cab last night bcuz her vehicle still isnt working. It literally cost her $110 to come to and from work. Thats alot. Then theres the fact that she doesnt want to work christmas. Asked for it off early but wasnt approved bcuz there wasnt a replacement staff. The past 3 years i have done the overnight shift on christmas eve and asked the schedular if we can please have staff this year as doing the overnights kill me and then i struggle on christmas day to really enjoy the celebration. So hopefully she shows up for the remaining 3 shifts. Basically, im trying not to worry about things that havent happened yet.
Nothing else going on. Hope everyone has an addiction free day
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Hey guys 
Checking in with 269 days this warm Christmas Eve. It was the hottest day on record for Christmas Day here in my hometown last year (42C/109F), wondering what tomorrow will bringā¦ hopefully nothing that hot haha!
Christmas at home for us this year, weāve decided to relax and cook at home, spend some time swimming and cooking and maybe visiting our local beaches.
Not putting myself in other peoples homes watching them get drunk this year, Iām a bit over feeling on the outside watching all the drinking tbh.
Christmas work parties, all the pubs and bars are over flowing with people drinking. I donāt miss it but itās just super annoying that itās all people do.
My new work place conversations are just full of drunk stories, stories of the best places for happy hour, stories of their favourite alcohol and itās just super boring. I canāt relate anymore. Anyone else feel outside like this, like bored by how obsessed people are with booze?
Anyway, Iāve got some time off from work as well and Iām very excited for the rest. Wishing you all a fabulous Christmas Eve 
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Checking in @ Day 5
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229, checking in.
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Today I reached a milestone. 3 months sober!!!
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Congratulations on your 3 months sober Cynthia.
Thatās amazing!
Great way to start the Holidays.
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449 Days
I hope every one is doing well 
I hadnāt been myself the past week or two, but feeling more like me now, the new me. I guess Somedays that still takes a bit of getting used to.
Iām really proud of myself today, I could have just stayed in bed, nothing really needed doing but I wanted to change a few things and just go over everything so it feels fresh for the Xmas holiday.
I know this will help me in so many ways feel more relaxed and comfortable especially if things get a bit tough.
I got up and got on with it, the whole day doing lots of bits.
Iām still looking around thinking wow great job !
It wasnāt so much about it needed doing, because it was okay, but itās because I set myself the task and knew I had to go through with it otherwise Iām letting myself down and gradually that will become a thing.
A thing that would eventually slowly turn me back into that old person I hardly know anymore, getting used to the new me means doing things I say Iām going to do, doing things I know I will benefit greatly from even if they donāt need to be done or I donāt want to do them.
Iām very tired and very proud as I had felt I was quickly becoming my old self, until I realised I have a choice to keep walking this path Iām on so I will do anything that helps me feel safe and comfortable as after all those feelings keep me sober.
I donāt want to drink, but today I prevented a thought or more of a behaviour pattern that would eventually lead to that. I noticed it, I put in the action and I am stronger than I think. We all are.
Wishing you all a safe sober Xmas 
I know it isnāt an easy time of year for many off us and for many different reasons.
Iām proud of every single one of us 
thank you everyone for helping me become this person that trys hard to get over hurdles, I appreciate each and every one of you. 
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Checking in day 110! Still slowly feeling better- got to work from home today which has been good so far. Been a bit of a stressful week between being sick, and now my partner admitting to relapse after I set boundaries with him. Heās going into detox tomorrow and then set up for a 30 day programā wishing him well, but itās also his last chance for me to stick around. Just focusing on my sobriety and wellbeing right now.
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Day 197 And Iām going to have a bit of a rant as it goes.
So, today I have cleaned all my house. Iāve been getting up at 4.30-5 am as I have changed meds so just getting up and getting on with things. I bought a ticket to watch A Christmas Carol at a theatre this evening. Great, needed to get out so happy about that. Went to my local pub on way home for a bit of socialising. Cool, saw some good people. Then I saw this knobhead who is really starting to irritate me and Iām getting pure vexed about it.
In April this lad broke my leg by falling on me and snapping my bones through my skin. It was an accident but it was pretty bad. I saw him about a month ago for the first time and he said, I kid you not, āitās probably been worse for meā
I just brushed it off and thought what a knob.
I saw him again tonight and he said the same thing. I said I donāt think so. Then he was saying that he heard my leg snap and he couldnāt forget it. I said it werenāt about him and told him to stop going on about it and shut up.
I was in hospital for 3 weeks, couldnāt walk. Was in a wheelchair for a while, then a walking frame then crutches. I was supposed to start a new full time job 2 days after this incident. I couldnāt do that. I had to be washed, toileted for weeks and weeks. This idiot didnāt even send me a get well card. Then he got the nerve to tell me, with his corpse breath if you donāt mind, that itās worse for him while heās been sitting in the boozer, selling his shitty little deals and basically thinking of nobody but himself! Well, Iāve ruminated on this and Iām fairly wound up about it now and if he says anything to me again Iām telling him not to chat pure f**king shite to me and I might have to stick the nut on him. Cheeky little scruff 
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Day 21.
Winding down and off work. Today is a struggle. Probably the first real struggle bus of a day with the addiction voice talking me into going a getting a few drinks. I have the next three days off and secured this job and my body and mind are craving to release. Im baffled every time I even try to talk myself into itā¦ knowing how quickly evil it becomes. It is without a doubt the worst decision I could possibly make in this moment. And yet here I am reminding myself that 1 drink will equal 1000 drinks and I wonāt get another chance to break free for who knows how long because I will fall hard and fast. I was going to take a break today from the gym for the first time since I started but with how I am right now thatās exactly where Iām going to go. Happy holidays much love.
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tonight will be day 297 of no self harm.
Iām doing okay. i had today off work. i got to see one of my cousins I havenāt seen in at least 3 years along with her mom. theyāre the only people besides my grandpa in my family that that me like a decent person. i think they talked with me more in the hour that they were there than my family does the entire weekend. it was nice. i got my cousins number and I hope Iāll see her more, but she always says that when she comes over and then itās several years before she reaches out again. Iām going to try to keep contact and hope she starts coming around more.
Iām not ready for Christmas or new years. all the family time. i was helping cook at my grandpaās today (Christmas eve is my grandpaās birthday) and I was completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Iām exhausted. and then Iāll have 2 days of that in a row.
Iāll push through I always do. it just always seems impossible.
something positive: I ate two full meals. i havenāt done that in months
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Day 560. Feeling tired and run down today. The darkness and constant howling wind is getting me down.
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267 days AFā¦the last night before Xmas Merry Christmas everyone
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