Hi everyone! Checkin in after a few days away, day 77! Wow wow! 
I am so grateful for this app but really realized the past few weeks that I have been spending way too much time on my phone. Going to be taking a break for a bit, from this app, plus I deactivated my social media accounts.
Iāll check in every once and a while, hope you are all doing well.
Big hugs 
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Itās been a minute since Iāve posted here but Day 2.
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So sorry to hear your son is in the hospital again. I hope he is better soon Dana.
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IV noticed this for me too, its been like poison ivy growing over the past few weeks poisining my thoughts.
Breaking the peace.
A few weeks back i held a bottle in the shop the turnt it around to check the%. This felt like dangerous behaviour to me and I had made plans to buy it for Xmas day but I didnāt, talking my self in and out of the situation for weeksā¦ telling myself itās for fun not to drown my sorrows. Iām glad I havenāt.
I know itās not what I really want.
It feels we are in dangerous places in our minds atm.
We can get through this, I think yes call your sponsor Iām going to reach out today to try to get one.
We know these thoughts were having have turnt into small actions which is dangerous for us we are lucky we recognise this, I believe we donāt really want a drink I believe we can get through this.
Iām here for you if you need to reach out.
I may watch a few documentarys today about how alcohol kills. I need to remember why I stopped and how bad It really got before I quit.
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Look at your numbers girl!
You got something 
Big hug 
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1298
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Commuted by
to work yesterday. It felt like a much longer ride than before because of the time I didnāt do it. Thereās an analogy to sobriety and recovery there somewhereā¦
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Iām sorry youāre having such a hard time @DryIn785!!! Proud of you for staying strong through this!!! 
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All the best for your son!
Iām sorry to hear you have to stay at the hospital and wish you, that the illnes will be gone soon!
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Day 928 clean and sober today. Mountains were beautiful yesterday now back to mundane life. Not a fan of where my life is right now but unsure what direction to go yet. I will figure it out. Have a wonderful day everyone, love you guys
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Hey all, checking in on day 926. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 2 free from alcohol
Day 139 free from toxic relationships
Day 49 imperfect regular eating
Thoughts / status
Sober but depressed and anxious.
Foggy mind.
Romanticizing ex guys with toxic behaviors, thinking about them all night long.
Scared of future regarding job.
Counter thoughts:
- Ok depression is pushing in now, but next hours it can change back to normal.
Anxiety is a clear symptom of the 4 days of drinkingā¦it will reduce soon. - Mind will clear up after a swim, as regular!
- There are millions of other guys out there. Work on your patterns. Donāt get back to drama.
- I am professional and I have privileges. Itās easy to describe what I want - and i will get it next year!
Love 
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Big congrats on your sober days and be well! One day at a time always. Hugs and love x
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Day 6. I have a long day of travel ahead of me to get back home. 2 hour drive to airport then 2 flights. Iāll leave my Momās about 10am and not get home til about 8pm. I hope all goes smoothly. Iām really looking forward to being back home with my cats. Headache was bad all day yesterday but so far itās better today. Anxiety is the issue right now. But that has a lot to do with all the travel. Im worried about maintaining my sobriety when I get home. I held myself accountable to my sister while I was here, and that helped. If itās just me alone, I stop caring about the consequences. I do need to look into the intensive outpatient program. My addictive voice has been telling me im not that bad and donāt need to quit drinking. At least I have a therapy appointment tomorrow.
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I hope you try something different to help you get past the beginning days.
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AA meetings and a sponsor will help with that. get going, Karen, you can do this.
save travels today! check out meetings in your area on your drive and get home with a plan in place. you got some good momentum going rn. best of luck!
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@Twizzlers thank you 
sorry youāve been struggling, hereās a hug sending strength 
did you ever write a list of why you wanted to stop drinking or what you wanted from sobriety? It may help to read it if you have one.
@DryIn785 welcome back glad to see you trying again 
@Intothesun congrats on your month 
@Alycia sending strength I start to lose my sense of self when I canāt keep to my routines, I didnāt even feel like a real person when I got home last night. I hope youāll start to feel better when youāre back in your routines 
@Rockstar24777 sending you strength, love, and hugs glad you spent your time off in the healing mountains, I bet the stars look amazing from there
@Jasty2 congrats on double digits
@LabLover222 congrats on your year 
@KevinesKay congrats on 80 days
@Soberbilly congrats on 8 months
@Bear21 welcome back
868 days no alcohol.
333 days no cocaine.
Checking in for yesterday as I was depleted and exhausted by the time I got home last night (I was having lifts to my dad and back so had no control over what time I left my dads).
My brother and my niece picked me up early, 9:30am. We went to the supermarket and I bought flowers for my Mumās grave, and some coffee for my dad and his wife as I noticed they were low yesterday. We then went to pick my brotherās wife up as she had been at home getting ready.
We then went to visit our Mumās grave, which looks very pretty atm. But also Sadness.
Then we went to my dadās. My brother and niece stayed in their extension playing and chatting, my SIL and I went to the kitchen to help my dadās wife cook another roast dinner. After a while, my SIL opened the oven door and commented on how things were burning on top but not cooking throughout, and then I noticed the grill filament in the top of the oven was red which meant the grill was on rather than the oven! My dadās wife blamed my dad for that. Anyway we persevered and moved things around and did get it all done and 9 of us ate together. I couldnāt eat much of mine, it was different than the day before, but nvm.
I felt like an outsider yesterday. I didnāt feel involved or included in any conversations. I also didnāt have any nicotine from 9am until I got home at 8pm. When I am around a lot of people I absorb their energies and lose my sense of self, so I didnāt feel like a real person by the time I got home. Had some nicotine, fed my cats, had a shake, took my meds, put a meditation on, and fell asleep. Woke up loads during the night as usual.
The day was very different than the day before, everyone was drinking alcohol all day, and I despair at how many times Iām offered it, even 3 times in one go by my dad. Iām glad I am responsible for my own sobriety and take it seriously, as no one else seems to.
Having a very restful day with my cats today. Iām also having a migraine but otherwise Iām okay.
Will check in properly for today later on.
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298 days no booze. No need to stop reality from happening.
Stay sober.
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Iām the same way; maybe not a year or two, but definately a month or two. Or until my savings run out. Hope youāre feeling better!
Congratulations to @soberbilly for 8 months and @LabLover222 for a whole year!
Thatās usually the thought that goes through my head right before something bad happens. 
@CATMANCAM Sounds like you had a full day. Keep up the good work.
@Butterflymoonwoman How are you and kiddo doing today?
Got an early start. I realized after tossing and turning that I wasnāt sleepy; i was staying in bed to avoid reality. So I got up and did some prayer and meditation. Then I had to get down to business. You see, when I get on a bender, everything is neglected. Yesterday I got the dishes done, but the crock pot had some food left in it which has been rotting for almost 3 weeks. Considered just throwing it away, but I bit the bullet and emptied it. 
My next step for the morning was to eat breakfast; I donāt think I can now.
Not sure what to do today. Cold outside, but not as bad as the past week. Brian, the only Valeo person still talking to me, agreed to meet at 1pm even though we usually do Mon & Sat. Says I donāt sound like myself and heās worried.
Hope everyone has a great sober day! 
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Prayers for your son Dana. I hope heās doing better.
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Iām so sorry youāre struggling. Youāre always so helpful to everyone on here. Iām trying to think of something to say that may be helpfulā¦. I struggled a bit last week also. You may already know this and I canāt remember if I read it on here or heard it in Recovery Dharma but I force myself to remember my ālast drunkā. That usually leads to other memories of me being drunk which leads to me remembering every reason why I never want to drink again. This has definitely helped pull me out of it a few times. I hope youāre doing better today.
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