About to make an amends to my sister…super nervous
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Day 70. AF AF still. Days go by where I don’t even think once about alcohol now. I guess that’s progress. Haha. I have lost almost all desire to drink and now when I think about it, my mind instantly goes to how much worse I would feel the next day compared to how I feel now. I think I had to force myself into that thinking at first but now it’s second nature. I can only assume that me trying to train to run a marathon probably plays a big part in that as well. The difference of motivation to better myself from now and 72 days ago is stark to say the least. I really appreciate this forum and everyone on here who encouraged me. I don’t get on here nearly as much as I used to but in the beginning this place was one of my main crutches. Thank y’all. God bless.
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Day 21
Feeling good
Thanksgiving went amazing
Today me and the wifey are babysitting
I’m thinking of my past and I remember the crazy things I’d do to get high or drunk. Not today
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It’s one of my all time favourite van Gogh paintings as well. I think it’s wild and beautiful, embracing life. Takes me right back to the freedom of childhood summers. Thank you for sharing @Mno
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Day 18. Special evening.
I am alone at home and I have chosen to be alone. After the manicure - btw my nails are shining and beautiful - I was knitting. Almost 3 weeks ago this has not been possible. I already would have baught wine and would be drunken before 7 pm. That’s the truth. I wouldn’t have knit, no manicure and for sure no gym late in the evening.
I would have had to go to bed very early, only to wake up at 3 a.m. Most of the times I had terrible nightmares. I suffered. Next morning I just tried to survive. Coping my suffering.
No energy for anything else than work as good as possible.
Now my working days are easy. I even have energy right after work. I ride my bike home with power, I go to the gym, I knitt, I talk to people, I even can get calls.
And now it’s time to go to the gym.
Thank you all for being here, you are very precious for me 
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Congratulations on 2 months!!!
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Congratulations on 3 weeks 
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Don’t give up. Remember that you’re not missing out on anything by choosing to break Free from P and MB and lust. They have no value. Millions upon millions of non-users go through each day completely content and happy without any of these things. There’s no reason why it cannot be the same for us
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@Nordique thank you 
@sigurdurerik congrats on 200 days 
@Juli1 congrats on 4 months AF glad you treated yourself There is one really tiny cubicle in the corner of the changing room but I feel too awkward to go in there because I get anxiety about walking past people on the way and what they will think or assume, but maybe I will try it if it’s free next time I go 
@Jftself congrats on your week
@Sabrina80 I’m glad you got some answers about your health, I hope the therapy is a success 
@Dtizz sorry about the loneliness 
but congrats on 90 days
@Hollieberry congrats on 70 days
@Pallbearer congrats on your month I hope the interviews go well 
@Twizzlers I hope you can get a good sleep tonight 
@Mno sorry about the disappointment friend, sending love
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@KarenKW welcome back have you thought about asking for help with your withdrawal symptoms and the depression from a medical professional?
@Brl81 congrats on 60 days
@Bomdhil congrats on 2 weeks sending strength
@Cjp I hope the amends is/was met with forgiveness
@Benwa10 congrats on 70 days
@Noshame congrats on 3 weeks
837 days no alcohol.
302 days no cocaine.
70 days no takeaways.
Missed my check-in for yesterday. It was therapy day so I spent the day travelling to and from a hospital in Cambridge, for a 50min session, it is worth it though, yesterday felt like one of the most important sessions out of the previous 36! It seems my subconscious, and part of me, has regressed to my 15 year old self. Looking for external things to get love from/fill the void, but I am learning that what that self needs, is love from adult Cam, me, and it starts with having boundaries, with other people, and with myself. I am making progress, and today I even managed to set a boundary about not wanting to be around alcohol, without feeling guilty about the boundary itself or taking responsibility for how the other person would feel about it. That’s a huge win, I’ll take it.
Today I have rested as I am exhausted from the day of travelling yesterday. I have pains in weird places, from swimming I think, but hopefully my body will get stronger the more I go, so I’ll use that as motivation.
I intend to have my last cigarillo at around 22:30 tonight, so that is just over 4hrs from now. Writing it here for accountability. I’m so embarrassed to be smoking again, especially after 1.5 years of not doing so (I was vaping instead, but managed to only use 0mg nicotine in the vape for over a month, and then stop completely just 10 days before I picked up the cigarillos). 
I have NRT products, so I will lean on them and focus on my health goals.
I hope that everyone who celebrates, had a joy-filled Thanksgiving.
I am wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
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1965 was nog net wat beter! 
Always good to see you Lady. Great numbers!
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Bro, be excited. A year is a big deal. Looking back on mine I wish I would have been more excited than I was. Because eventually they years do turn into just another day. Go to a meeting (if that’s your thing) and proudly announce it’s your one year. People in the rooms love that shit
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I didn’t go anywhere 
I could’ve but I was lazy. I had enough food here and I still can pick up my stuff from the postal office tomorrow.
The only thing I did today was cleaning the apartment in ultra slow speed.
For dinner I had chicken breast, potatoes and salad. I wanted it to be extra yummy so I put dried cranberries into the gravy.
I wasn’t really hungry (because of the meds) but as soon as I started eating I totally lost it, it was so good 
I ate 2 plates and 2 tiny bowls of salad. I’m so full I hope I don’t explode haha!
Now medicine again and some episodes of Castle
@CATMANCAM I hope so too, I’m optimistic. Years ago I had the same problems and after 2 weeks I was as good as new
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Checking in day 82! Limited myself to one work call today. We just decorated for Christmas already 
have a dinner with friends later- so nice to have a few days in a row with hardly any work!
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Day 265
Still sober.
Just tidied for 30 min before watching La Reina Del Sud. Offset a few days this week where I havent done it. Last night I did deal with dishes and my bathroom. But I can feel myself slipping.
Need to send emails and delete apps. Need to write but shit isnt coming out fast enough. I hope to have a break and then really make my room nice for the weekend/next week.
Its all too much.
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241 days 
Hey everyone. My Saturday is starting really early today. I couldn’t sleep, going into a bit of a disturbed sleep pattern again but trying not to freak out about it. I’m going to try back at the gym for the first time since I got covid just about two weeks ago. Will take it easy and ease into my weights.
I’ve also cut caffeine out, as the covid headaches were crazy and I’ve been enjoying the break from the excessive caffeine I was consuming. It’s been just over a week. I got a stimulant free pre workout I’m going to try. Then a half day at work finishing up some duties, I have a few days left of training new staff at the old job and I’m done. Getting exciting now.
Take care friends 
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Day 853 drugs and alcohol
Day 1 sugar
Had a great day yesterday! After spending last thanksgiving super alone it felt soooo good to spend it with family (even though I did eat at the kids table lol) anyway…
I’ve been battling my sugar addiction! I started trying the week before Halloween and even then on a good day was consuming 35 grams of added sugar! I got stressed out and relapsed 4 days after Halloween. I felt such a high from stuffing my face with candy that I was instantly hooked again. Then I gave up and my goal was after thanksgiving yada yada so here I am, except I already reset twice today!! I am pretty sure I ODed on sugar last night I feel awful today. Couldn’t sleep and so I’m super tired today. But just drank coffee, it’s 3 pm but my kid has a bday party to go to so….sugar is a beast but it’s killin me so to be continued.
@Pallbearer right there with ya on the sugar!! Congrats on your 30 days!
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