Huge congratulations on entering the double digits!!! I think having a healthy fear of our disease of addiction is an okay thing. But recovery is also meant to be enjoyed (not to say we dont have our down moments and hard times too but overall i feel like recovery is a joyful thing). My suggestion is to live for today. Live in the moment and focus on the 24 hours ahead. As long as u do today what u need to do to stay clean and sober, tmrw will take care of itself 
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Day 271
Shits bleak.
I got some free food. I got a friend some free food. I get paid tomorrow. Will definitely buy brake pads and rotors. And send a box to my friend. And then I will go to the tea place and write.
Would be nice to have a beer or st but things dont work like that.
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Day 843
Sober life continues to be full of challenges, but grateful for the energy to face them sober. My son has needed picking up from school āsickā three times this week, no fever but feeling ābadā and then had a near panic attack before his karate belt test. I think it was all stress related and hope now it is over he can settle down. My daughter has had to quit her dance class because the company changed the day to a day we arenāt free. I was not impressed with this and my inner Karen may have come out a little. I got my first full on 90 degree bow from the teacher. We will try a different one at the weekend. Relations with the husband are their usual state, unsatisfactory for me, but unable to see a solution. It is impossible to get someone who sees no problem in their behaviour to change. And it is also impossible to get understanding from someone who sees my emotions as invalid.
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Well I was doing good staying caught up here reading yalls checkins for awhile until I wasnāt. @CATMANCAM I am convinced your ability to catch up reading is a super power. My brains like ānope thatās a whole lot of nope.ā So hereās hoping yall are doing well and sending lots of love! 
Day 855 for me. My dad had been sick since thanksgiving and yesterday he got home from work and couldnāt stop coughing. Like scary sounding coughing I was half expecting to see blood and itās freaking me out. Stubborn old man then still insisted on helping me finish shoveling the last stretch of the driveway instead of going inside and resting. So today he stayed home from work, I got him late breakfast, and heās been sleeping on and off all day since.
As much as I hate living in this small town it makes me really glad to have this time with my dad. And on the flip side of things I am not talking with my mother through the holidays. So much passive aggressive manipulative bs and overstepping boundaries, then acting all innocent. Over and over and overā¦.Iām done with it. Iāll send her a holiday card but Iām trying to release the feelings of guilt or obligation to send gifts or spend time with her. I would love to hear any advice, wisdom, etc from anyone that has cut out parents/close family and how you cope (especially around the holidays)!
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Days
52 no drugs
181 (in 3 hours, 182/6month milestone!!) No self harm
15 eating daily
Today has been a good day.
I was held close this morning for almost an hour before I had to get up i felt safe and cared for in that time and really set the tone for a peaceful day internally.
At work, it was a sort of long day (9 hours) and i felt a bit tired by the end, bit i was very productive, and smooth sailing. I think I am going to request that I am not scheduled longer than 8 hours in a day. I am not able to comfortably work longer per day anymore.
I let my kids stay home from school today because my little one stayed up till almost 5am and kept them from sleepingā¦
I came home and made dinner with my son. He chose macaroni , tuna, and peas. I had a bowl with the kids. And i am feeling good today. Just sleepyā¦ But itās not bedtime for the little one for another 2 hours so I must stay awake for at least a little bit longer
I hope everyone is having a good day today
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Day 1855.
Happy Worlds AIDS Day. Today is a day to not only remember those we lost but to celebrate those who have survived and the advancements we have made in treatment.
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I would love this 1000 times if I could 
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Congratulations!! Nice work 
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Checking in n ray 77. Great news todayā¦I got the job I wanted! All that interview prep paid off. New position starts in the new year and I canāt wait. Hope everyone is having a great day!
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Winding down Day 2, feeling good, no cravings. Kept busy, worked out, meal prepped and taking time for dinner with my fam. Looking forward to tomorrow, hopefully it goes just as smoothly!
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Hey all officially made it to one month sans alcohol and am going on 10 days no weed or cigarettes. Today was a tough day but Iām determined to make it through no matter what my mind is telling me.
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Congrats @Hollieberry on the new job!!
Congrats @Scorpn for 6 months sh free
Congrats @Player-1 on day 2ā¦ just hold on tight for that first week and it gets better
Congrats @JP123 on 10 days!!
And congrats @KarenKW for making it thru the week! Your symptons seem to get better after the first week. Keep fighting!!
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Checking in hereā¦back to day 3 unfortunately but when we fall we gotta get right back up!
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Congrats Mike! 6 months was pretty bad for me as far as milestone malady ( well they all are really), hopefully things start looking up again.
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Omg!!! Yes so happy for you!!!
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Always so proud of you girl!!! I love that ur listening to urself and what is comfortable for YOU! Also congratulations on ur 6 months of being SH free!!! Hugs lady!
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Evening Check In
Day 291
Day went really well. Other than a slow start this morning, I was able to do a leg workout and then complete my tasks for the day when it came to my cake thats due Sat first thing in the morning. Ill be decorating it tmrw as I will need a good chunk of the day to stack and frost the cake layers, color frosting and pipe diff designs, add sprinkles and finish off the unicorn cake topper, add a name plaque and a happy birthday banner to it. Lots of work still but will take photos afterwards. Hoping for good results! Made a good supper and played games with my boy. Took care of some phone calls today with regards to his procedures this coming Tue. Everything seems to be in place. Now just continue to stay healthy. Hope everyone is having a good day/night!
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tonight will be day 275 of no self harm.
my grandpa is a little more coherent today from what Iāve heard. ever since they found him yesterday heās been leaning to the left in no matter what they do he just keeps slipping back to the left. they did a CAT scan yesterday and there were no signs of a stroke and he was able to do the strength tests so he wasnāt weak on any side of his body. however today he had a physical therapy consult and there are signs that he may have had a mini stroke. when they ask him to touch his nose with his right hand heās fine, but when he is asked to touch his nose with his left hand heās just slightly off. they asked him to move his hands at the same time and he has to really focus on moving the left one. they asked him to tilt his feet toward him as far as he can and the left one is just a little bit lower than the right. itās nothing that would really impact his living quality but itās definitely concerning. they are trying to decide if they want to send him home with in-home physical therapy or put him in a rehab facility for a week or so. he is still too weak to get out of bed, he got out of bed once and then slept the entire day because he was so exhausted. they keep wanting to send him home but nobody in my family can lift him.
Iām supposed to go see him tomorrow because we found out that you can actually have pairs of people visiting him instead of just one. so Iām supposed to go with my mom tomorrow. however my aunt just text me saying that theyāre supposed to be wind gusts up to 85 mph where the hospital is. I really really really hope that weāre able to go see him because I really canāt calm down until I see him myself
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I am so glad that you are getting used to eat your meals. I hope your body enjoys that you take care of it and give him the micros and macros he needs 
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Day 52. Babysitting my 5 yo niece for the night. Kids are so fun and I enjoy her so much more and have so much more patience and energy now that Iām not drunk every time we hang out.
Also feels really good knowing my brother and his wife trust me overnight with her and they are seeing huge improvements too. I almost royally fucked that up a few months ago by offering to pick her up from school once after day drinking all day.
They ended up not needing me to grab her but found out later that I would have been drunk if I had.
That was the day before my birthday and the last day I drank.
Really bums me out that I was so careless and that alcohol turned me into a person who didnāt care about the most important people in my life.
Grateful grateful grateful for change, and earning back trust and the little moments in between.
Sleep tight yāall.
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