Checking in:
Day 42 drink free
Day 22 smoke free
Really struggling with reality again this morning and have to go into the office for work today. Anxiety is high. Hoping I don’t have a meltdown. Going to remember deep breathing and try to have a positive outlook. Wishing everyone here a good day xx
Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,600. I wonder if I would have made it past 200 days if I wasn’t here. I have to be in Downtown Chicago the next two days for meetings and then dinner. Anyone who asks me to drink will find out I kicked that shit to the curb years ago.
Having to hobnob with all these bigshots makes me want to barf sometimes, but I will call upon my acting skills to make due. I’d rather be on the Fox River chasing Smallmouth Bass in the warming May sun…
God Bless!
Thank you so much 
30 months clean and sober today.
TW: Suicidal thoughts…
Hi everyone I’m really sorry to have worried you all. I found myself in a very very dark place where I didn’t feel like I could reach out. I did however keep in daily contact with another friend here and it pulled me through.
I found myself rocking Corey in my arms at night before I would go to bed and just having his ashes here with me was much more devastating then I had imagined it would be, a constant reminder that he was dead. That being said, all I had been wanting to do is go be with him wherever that may be or even if there is no where I just wanted the ache to stop. It was reality fucked up to say the least. As some of you know I struggle with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis even when things are “good” in my life and I make a choice everyday to stay. This was just overwhelmingly dark and I had to ride it out.
I used to reach out on the mental health thread when things would get harder for me but felt like I talked about it to much in the past and didn’t want to bring anyone down as we’re all recovering and people don’t need or want to hear that shit all the time.
I’m starting to feel better and I appreciate your concern for me and again I apologize for not letting you all know what was happening, for some reason I couldn’t. Anyway, have an amazing day I love you guys 
I’m sorry @Nordique, @Dazercat, @mx_elle, @DLS and @TrustyBird for worrying you all. Thank you for the love and concern I love you guys too
Hey! So glad you’re okay! We missed you
I’m sorry to hear that you had such a painful few days but I’m proud of you for pulling through. We are all always here for you and you never have to feel like you are bringing us down.
I’m also checking in on day 912 and I hope everybody has a good one!
Love you more than you know! You can never reach out “too much” that’s what we’re all here for. I’m glad you’re here now. Been missin ya!
Congratulations friend ln 1600 days!!! What a number!!! Hope everything goes well in Chicago. Your statement
Reminds of the part in the Big Book where it states: We will recoil from it like a hot flame. Idk if you read the Big Book, but this is what it reminds me of. Im sooo proud of you!
Thank you bro very much, super proud of you!
@Rockstar24777 im glad ur checking in 
Hope everything is okay.
Awwww thank you @pdebs that means a lot to me! 
Morning Check In
Day 303
Im beyond grateful! Another month under my belt and a new one begins!
). I couldnt even get 3 days for the longest time and now its 10 months! Yay!!
Awwww thank you very much @mx_elle i care a lot about you too! Thank you for sharing the link I will look into it after work today. Love you and thanks again for your support 
Holy f**king crap Dana you have come so far!!! So happy to see this and I’m so freaking proud of you!!! YAY YOU!!!
Im just reading this now. I feel awful that i didnt read this sooner to help give support. But grateful that others were on here to do that. Im sooo sorry u have to go thru this. I just cant imagine the emotions and pain that u feel. But im also grateful thar ur here and ur sober and ur managing the best u can. Ur so loved and cared for here. Im glad that u can open up and share with us anything thats on ur mind. Hugs my friend
Thank you sooo much Rob! Feels very surreal lol I almost feel in shock some days over it lol
Congrats on 10 months!! That’s amazing!
Day 6. I can’t remember the last time I’ve gone this long without a sip.
I’m off today. I’m starting to feel a lot of emotions creeping up on me. I think before I was so used to numbing everything. I had planned on getting a lot done today. But my gut is telling me I need to sit and feel these emotions and work through them. I have a ton of healing to do and that can’t be rushed.
Everyone have a beautiful and blessed day. 
Your doing amazing. Your posts remind me of my first days. A lot of emotions for sure and yes you absolutely sometimes just need to let everything else go and focus on healing and moving through those emotions. It’s a lot of up and down, but you have to just ride those waves and when the storm becomes rough, remember there is always a calm after. I’m glad your are here♥️
I can’t even imagine. I’m just glad you shared and I know for myself that no post in here will ever bring me down because if I start to read something and it’s not something I can read in that moment, I can choose to stop. I hope that you can feel comfortable sharing when you need too. You need to be able to have a safe place to let it all go.
Sending love and strength.
