You won the day! Congrats on getting the job. Really like your attitude in recovery.
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Iām sorry youāre hurting, you are such a sweetheart. The weather is so crazy a crossed most of the country that thereās going to be a lot of people staying at home over the holiday. Will be binging a lot of movies.
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It would make it all worse 
Iām sorry you feel like this, although Its totally understandable.
I wish I was able to give you a real big squishy hug in real life and have as coffee with you.
You are a strong woman, a caring and thoughtful kind person. I know you feel rejected inside or maybe like you donāt matter but you do matter very much, try hard not let those around you make you feel less than who you are.
You are cared about very much.
Donāt lose your sobriety, especially over people who are not really thinking of you and your feelings, they are not worth losing your sobriety over.
Edit: The phone actually changed squishy to sweaty 
lucky I noticed in time.
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Had nearly the same problem and also a lot of people around me. I hadnāt the experience like breathing the first time right, but other people had it.
All the best for your surgery! If itās possible, chose a technique without temponade.
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I will never forget when I was quite new around here (still am in a way) and I was having the worst day, hurtful things were said to me by my mum and I felt so un supported and also it fitted so well with my ongoing sad situation anyway without going into the silly details of what happened, I came on here and you had typed this and it hit me what it meant, it helped me stay sober that day. Iāll never forget that day, thankyou The release of pain I was feeling and blaming of myself your words, these words took that away that day Thank you for that day and everyday your are here
Iām sorry to hear you feel empty inside 
Try not to blame yourself for causing your own problems, life is just tough. Some days are worse than others and some are just great but it isnāt your fault.
You have been making allot of presents and cakes for everyone else, maybe if itās possible you can do something for you? You can just do you and think about yourself, I know it sounds selfish but it really isnāt, if you are not okay and donāt put yourself first you will burn out and wonāt be able to function and look after those you care so much about
Sending you lots of love and hugs
I have your son in my prayers always
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Day 923 clean and sober. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys 
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,609.
God Bless!
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Your NOT fat, ugly or pathetic, turn those negative thoughts into positive ones, you are worth it as are we all
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Hey all, checking in on day 921. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Well, I am definitely a bit plump, average looking, and having a big ol pity party for myself at the moment. But even with that, yes, worth the same shot at life as everyone else.
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Im so sorry about the delayed response to ur message. Im so sorry ur feeling this way. Uv been thru alot emotionally lately 
but im so glad that u remember that alcohol wont make things any better. Do u ever a chance to do things for you? To show urself love and compassion? When i used to feel very unloved from people close me i had to give myself what i wasnt been given from others. Dont get me wrongā¦ it absolutely sucks and is sooo hurtful when those u love, dont show it very well. But what i could control was how i treated myself, showing myself love and compassion and patience. Bcuz i do have full control over that. As do u 
u deserve all things and more my friend. Big hugs
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I have put on weight but so what, i can deal with that after xmas, the problem for me i never ate when drinking so now i am making up for it
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Good morning checking in day 39, God bless you all
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Wow! Thatās so great to hear that you made it through that party with everyone arround you being under the influence.
I felt very similar at my husband staff Christmas party. Not a nice feeling when youāre there, but itās the BEST feeling when you make it through soberā:heart:
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Iām sorry you were/are feeling this way. You are strong and I know that doesnāt make it easier, but I believe in you. These awful feelings of being fat and ugly are ways of internalizing our feelings. Youāre are not fat and ugly. You are hurt and I am sending you a hug and Iām sooooo sorry there isnāt more I can do. But if there is, please let me knowā„ļø I will keep scrolling and hope you are feeling a bit better nowš¤
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Day 6
morning check-in
Same old, same old.
Woke up around 5 am, so decided to go to work at 7 am. Got my shit done within 2 hours, but my assistant store manager asked me to stay until noon.
Iām doing fuck all at home, so guess Iām staying until 5 pm. Can use the money.
Also discovered that my store manager might be replaced. She has forgotten to send in my resignation, so if she is going to be replaced Iām maybe not going anywhere just yet.
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Thank you my friend for your beautifully written words and for ur support always. I think uv nailed it on the head with whats going on. I have been giving alot in a variety of ways. I havent reallt thought about myself in quite some time and ur absolutely right tho, if i dont take care of me i wont be of use to myself or others. I do burn out alot just with everyday stuff. I love my son sooo much! More than anything in this world! When hes home all day and not in school, my focus is strictly on him bcuz he needs that extra medical support. It does wear on me. Hes been home for over a month due to this respiratory flu going around and then his surgeries and recover time there and then was in school for 2 days this week and got sick. And its alot of work with a sick child with a tracheostomy. Its tough. My time for me is the gym at 530am and if i dont get that in (which i didnt end up doing yesterday) then i have no time for me until 10pm when i can shower. Ive been so busy that im not praying, not doing my recovery stuff, and this is the time i need to be doing it the most. I HAVE to make time for it bcuz this is my life line. My daily reprieve from drugs. I havent felt that empty or hollow in a loooong time. Felt scary actually. Thankfully i didnt think of using last night altho the thought did pop up earlier yesterday during the day.
Also thank u for what u said i remember that day when you werent feeling the greatest im glad ehat i said helped. U have helped me sooo many times also. Truly appreciate ur friendship 
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Morning Check In
Day 312
Morning TS fam! This morning, I managed to do a light workout for some self care. Also prayed and connected to my HP. Drinking my green tea now until 11 when i can eat my lunch. Feeling a bit better than yesterday. Realizing that i need to look after me better. Im a very giving person and at times i give from my cup but dont refill my cup for myself.
My son is very sick right now. I spoke to the complex airway nurse and asked about a general antibiotic for my son. So hopefully the dr will approve this. Waiting to hear back.
Plans for the day are to eat well and nourish my body. Clean up the apartment. And obviously continue to take care of my son. Thats about it i guess.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day
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Day 82
Work done, only one more day 
Now heading to therapy for my neck, wich is still painless 
Trains are packed, I hope I make it there on time. After that Iāll go home, grab my big backpack to shop enough groceries that I donāt need to leave my apartment until next week 
Itās not recommended to shop tomorrow or even Saturday, people go crazy before a holiday. They shop like the world ends and a Zombie apocalypse starts 
My colleague got a pay raise too, we talked about our plans on how to invest this money. Itās not much but it almost covers my study costs.
She has similar plans, to study for something she really loves. A job should feel like a hobby not like a punishment.
Still not tempted to drink, although this usually is a hard time. Christmas markets everywhere and the Germans really love their GlĆ¼hwein.
Weāll see how I handle it when Iām home for some days. Always prepared 
Okay folks, I hope youāre having a beautiful sober day. Stay strong 
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Your cupcakes also look amazing !! Wish I could taste one or two 
I had lots of little stuff to do today, didnāt do them but had to tell myself thatās okay and not feel bad about it.
Too be fair is not much is more just ticking stuff off in my head and keeping busy but I am determined to do them Tomo so Xmas Eve I can just relax.
I feel lazy and a bit disappointed as I do feel I could of just done the jobs but I didnāt and Iām trying to be kind to myself. So took it easy today knowing Iāll have more energy tomorrow to do the stuff.
Iv also not been myself the past week but pushed on just putting one foot in front of the other and it worksā¦ Slowly but it works.
Canāt believe itās Xmas already too!!
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