Thank you everyone for the love and support. Sorry I fell into a little funk and vanished the last couple days. Feeling back on track today. Much love
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Same 
I first had to learn to love and accept myself.
In my 30ies I was drunk most of the time so I wasnāt interested (or able) to find a man.
Now something like 15 (or more?) years have passed. Still rocking the Single life and I can pretty good live with myself now.
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Congratulations to the tripple digits! 
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Day 2 checking in
- free from alcohol
- keeping me toxfree
- imperfect regular eating without drama
Triggerwarning cravings and depressed
Cravings to A.
Feeling need to drink.
Very tired physically.
Feeling silent dangour that this contact will fire and wire the wrong hormones again.
Ate regular, but feel too full and guilty.
Depression this morning.
Cried and felt desperate.
Bought some spanish pills to calm down. (pasiflora and so on)
Happy to travel back tomorrow after 3 weeks.
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Have a safe trip home Julia. Plz make it a sober trip. Itās tough to see you crave and suffer and see it get progressively worse with every slip or relapse or whatever to call it. Tough but not as tough by far as it must be for you I know. Please fight to get out of this spiral. Stay in contact with the sober world and with the sober you. Thinking of you. Hugs.
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120 days of being sober. Now returning to work, I have passed a wonderful holidays sober. I have enjoyed monuments, food and free time. My mood has definitely changed. Still learning a lot in AA meetings, mainly how to dominate myself and try not to be angry no matter the reason.
Very happy of having given up the booze, I hope and I will try forever.
Best regards!
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day one checking in
have covid but not feeling too badā¦
having a hard time finding good distractions.
so far I doodled a little but I feel like I have to start all over learning art which is frustrating.
about to do some pilates to see if that helps
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Thank you!!!
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Thank you!!
I did it with the help of my higher power. When I feel like drinking I rewind the picture of my last drink when I got in a fight and got a black eye that still hasnāt healed completely. I drove home drunk and hit a curb (I think) and got a flat tire. I drove home on three tires and a rim. When I got home I got in a huge argument with my son in front of his friends. I KNOW so many things could have happened far worse than the black eye and flat tire. I believe the next time I drink I wonāt be walking away like I did this time. And that scares me.
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Thank you so much Menno!
And thanks for reminder!
Safe home, having coffee and finishing things here in the airbnb.
The addictive devil letās me think,
I am suffering the most because
I am not able to drink.
The truth is, I was so happy and deeply calmed
a while ago. 
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Checking in Day 4 AF
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Youāre awesome Dana thank you 
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I hear you, it is awesome being single in a lot of ways and I too am really getting to know myself more. Just get sad sometimes but it is what it is
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Yeah I know the sadness.
Youāre right, it is what it is 
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F***. Broke down completely this afternoon trying to work. Sobbing, hyperventilating. Glad I work from home. I just feel completely unable to function. Desperately wish I could take something or drink to ease the emotional pain. Iām waiting to hear back from the 2nd IOP. Not sure how Iāll manage to do that and work, but Iām not really functioning at work right now anyway. Wondering if I need to take leave. It would have to be unpaid and donāt know if I can afford that. I feel desperate for help. To clarify. Im not at all suicidal, but struggling to function more that basic survival mode. Meaning I take my meds and manage to eat, but thatās about it. None of this is helped by the fact I slept like crap last night and had horrible violent and gruesome nightmares. So now Iām trying to breathe deeply and get through 5 minutes at a time. Iāll try not to worry about the work Iām currently not getting done. Thanks for listening to be rant.
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I just caught up on this thread and hope everyone hung on through the holidays. Iām ready for some regular normal days. After reading quite a bit on here last night the phrase āevery binge is a form of self harmā was my first thought when I woke up today. I canāt remember who said it but thank you to whoever did. I think Iāll make it todays mantra to reflect on. Happy sober day peeps. 321 alcohol free days for me.
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Maybe you are done working for the day if that is possible? Tell someone you need the rest of the day off and give yourself some time. It sounds overwhelming at the moment. Sending you a hug.
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I probably could take the rest of the workday off. Iām at least taking a break. Donāt want to get further behind. I have a hard time setting boundaries with work despite my boss repeatedly saying Iām more important that the job.
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Checking in for the first time in a few months. Today Iām 4 months 6 days sober from my daily cannabis habit.
Been going through some depression and difficult times and last night I dreamed I was at a party and got high. I woke up so mad at myself until I realized it was only a dream. 
In good news to reportā¦ Iāve used the money I saved not buying weed to treat myself to a new car. My old car was a 1993 model. My new car is a 2023. Iāve never in my life had a brand new car before. 
Happy New Year, everyone!
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