Checking in daily to maintain focus #51

Thanks! Sorry things feel off. I hate that feeling. Hopefully you find peace.

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Congratulations on your ten months Minatasha
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Sorry your in a rough spot and not feeling well.
But ten months is amazing. Great job. Hope you feel better soon.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Day 13, been playing Magic with my friends and been focused on avoiding being alone which helps

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Tonight was really stressful at work. Lots of “there goes dry January” and “you deserve a stiff drink” talks. Never once did I think that drinking would help my scenario. I’m home with good food and relaxing TV. Day 324. My sober muscles are getting stronger. :muscle:t3:

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I’m sorry work was like that today :pensive:

I’m so happy for you to be in a spot that you don’t even want to drink.
Your sober muscles are strong :muscle::muscle: and amazing, just like you. :blush:

I hope tomorrow is better :two_hearts:

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I have faith that it will be. It didn’t even occur to me until I got home that I never even considered drinking about my problem. I used to, it never helped. Happy sober night to you @Scorpn. Thanks for the kind words. :blush:

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Trauma comes from experiences in childhood (or horrific events later in life but let’s stick with childhood for now) that are not understood at the time or too big and painful to be absorbed into the system and directed to outlets that won’t harm the person. like say as an adult in pain/anguish you can express yourself to others, you can direct your pain into art or community service, you can govern your own thoughts to an extent so you can tell yourself: that grannie died at her age was a natural part of life, I can be sad now but I will be ok. Thereby giving yourself some comfort. All these options we don’t really have as children (and often not perfectly as adults either, we need to learn these things). Often the shock of pain floods the system of a child and gets stuck, leaves deep wounds. or the inability to understand what happens in the world of adults around the child leads to beliefs about the self that are misguided and harmful later in life. Guilt, responsibility, flawedness, shame or helplessness come to mind.
All these examples and so many more can be called trauma and can show up in symptoms years later. That’s why depression and anxiety are such widely known phenomena.
With your childhood background it is to be assumed that you were exposed to things as a child that harmed you in this way, were too painful for you or you could not understand at the time. It would make sense to assume that your anxiety and physical symptoms are related to this.
It’s also normal to doubt this, as you are doing, to avoid getting exposed again to the thoughts and experiences that caused the initial wounds. This is called resistance. It’s part of the process. That’s why ppl doubt all the time if their experience was “bad enough” or if they really are depessed or just lazy.
Just know that when you re-encounter these old feelings and thoughts in a safe setting with a therapist, they will be less shocking and hard to endure. As an adult, it feels different.

Keep thinking about it and acknowledge and explore your feelings. See where it takes you.

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Congratulations to 90 sober days!:tada::confetti_ball::tada:

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I can relate to all of that. Today is my fifth day also, I know in my heart that I won’t drink today & that’s all I need for today. I sat on the couch last night with a herbal tea & became conscious that I hadn’t felt as relaxed in a very long time. My anxiety has already reduced so much. I take nothing for granted though, I’m just happy the dragon is sleeping at the moment. Well done you, I wish you a good day today.

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Wow! Congratulations to 3 awesome years of soberness!:tada::confetti_ball::tada:

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Checking in day 540
Grateful to be sober and alive : )
Stay on the path friends , together

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Day 1 - free from alcohol
Day 0 - free from toxic relationships
Day 0 - imperfect regular eating

Didn’t drink yesterday…
And so, I won’t drink today. :panda_face:

The back in contact thing went lightly toxic again yesterday. Constant text messaging / bombing and making me a guilty conscience because I don’t want intimacy anymore.

Had a binge late-night yesterday. Okay I had a nearly 1000cal swim workout before, but after eating a soup with some extra protein I began snacking dates and goat cheese… Until it was a little binge.

Everything comes together… And everything regulates together. That’s it.

Sending love, peace and ease! :two_hearts:

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1309
Have as good a day as you can all. Love.

Off today. Work tomorrow. Both will be sober and clean. Keep going friends. It’s so worth it.

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2 months and few days - No online shopping!

That was a very stress reducing challenge!
I made some orders the last 2 days, for things I really need and listed few weeks before.

If these orders are proceeded I will reset the timer again and do a new challenge again until end of March. Medical things and hypoallergic cosmetics are excluded or if it’s a technical thing or something that broke before and has to be replaced.

Reducing online shopping and do it focused if needed, reeeeeealy helps my mind not to get monkeyish and to get lost in scrolling and giving myself a wrong illusional treat.

Things I ordered:

  • Swim googles
  • Fins
  • Yoga Leggings (4),
    wearing 24/7 despite of office days
  • Yoga mat (Lululemon, i am excited :heart_eyes:)
  • Book to help with alcoholism
  • Safety zero waste razor

Funny it’s all about sports, health, body :rofl:

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3 whole months! Awesome!
They say you need at least 3 months to change a habit, so you are doing great! :facepunch::tada::+1:

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#Day 1572 :walking_woman:
I made a big decision yesterday. Decided to quit a hobby I did for 8 years but wasn’t giving me the energy it used to give.
I quit the band I played in :see_no_evil:
Mixed feelings about it but overall relieved so I guess it’s the right decision.
So now I have a lot of free time to fill in. No weekly rehersal and no performances in the evenings ore weekends. Hope I’m not going to miss it though.
But they said I can come back if I do :blush:
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Today? Shopevent with my best friend :tada:
See you around TS people! It’s good to have a place like this!
Have a good day all of you wherever you are!
:de::switzerland::brazil::uk::us_outlying_islands::jp::canada:etc.

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day 110

Just a quick check in, im good as can be at the moment just on a massive job currently trying to get through the week into next and hoping its not going to end up 10 straight days in a row, been some long days at the moment will be nice if we can turn next weekend into a 4 day one on.

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It is amazing how much my alcohol consumption fueled my anxiety. Congrats on a great decision. It does keep getting better.

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Hey all, checking in on day 937. I hope everybody has a good one!

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My reality…

Also… Someone will die today because of their addiction.

Grateful to all of you for being here.

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