Checking in daily to maintain focus #51

@KellyKelly congrats on 300! :raised_hands:

Checking in day 27

I have my dr appt scheduled on my one day off next week. They finished putting down the subfloors in the 2nd bedroom. Now I have plenty of work mudding, sanding, caulking and painting. The previous worker didn’t level the floors correctly in my living room, so I am going to have to have that fixed. I’m going to wait until I find out about my surgery and those costs. The only positive thing is at least taxes are almost back. So that will help with my worries of being out of work for awhile.
I have actually been doing better than I thought I would be. No major cravings lately. Sleep is still off a bit, but that could just be from rotating day shift and closing shifts at work. I hope you all have a blessed day.

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Wishing u absolutely all the best with this new therapist. Love the picture of the ducks :slight_smile: you live in such a beautiful place!

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Checking in day 41. Have great day kids.

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Glad to see that things are slowly beginning to get better for u. Hope u have a great day :heartpulse:

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@KellyKelly huge congratulations on 300 days!!! Way to go :slight_smile:
@onthewagon31 congratulations to you on 9 months!!! Really proud of you for getting here! :star_struck:

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Day 108

I feel myself crawling back into a self isolating hole. Not sure of my emotions and just feeling kind of numb. I am not going to relapse, but I think I’m feeling overexposed in a way… Maybe sharing too much. I don’t really know how to articulate this feeling really. But figured this is the best place to try to explain. I hope y’all are having a good day :two_hearts:

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AF6D2EEC-CD72-4271-A3CF-0710CEF03256
Congratulations​:clap::clap::tada::tada:

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Checking in on day 25. Had counselling today and coffee and cake with my sister. I had a new friend reach out today who iv been putting off seeing because alcohol made me believe I wasn’t good enough and I couldnt maintain a friendship. We’re going for a hike and coffee Sunday. :heart: Up yours alcohol.

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So excited for your 9 months!!!

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Really proud of myself for not having anything last night. The Alcohol cravings are pretty much gone- I’m not chasing that feeling anymore it’s been 148 days and I’m so excited, however, the replacement of the THC drink that I started using after going without anything for a while has been spiraling and the longest I made it in the last few months was 5 days without any substance at all, (and that was just a few days ago)… But I’m determined to cut it out completely and today is day 2 no THC.
I wrote a little something:
Sit with it. The anxiety, the restlessness the emptiness, the darkness the worry the anger and the wonder of what do with it all. What if we just sit with all of it, and let those emotions rise and fall. Because they will. They will settle and they will pass and you will be ok. The substances just fuck with it all. For a glimpse of a moment, a drink or a pill or a toke might take it all away, but then the wave comes crashing down ten fold.
All the excuses in the world, the rationization, the glorification, of what and why we use… It’s all the addict voice taking over. Close your ears and open your heart. Let yourself hurt, because that’s the only way to heal.

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Day 65 :muscle: chilling almost at the end of season 2 on game of thrones

Happy sober Thursday everyone

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Day 467 AF

@SoberWalker Sorry for your loss. :disappointed:
@Lorelai Congrats on 40 months!
@onthewagon31 Congrats on 9 months, bro.
@CATMANCAM Almost 900 days and a year without a cocaine. Good work. :muscle:
@KellyKelly Congrats on 300 days :clap:

And congrats to everyone else. Hope everyone’s doing well.

Been spending time with my mom and the fam. My grandpa passed away a couple of days ago😢. We couldn’t make the trip to Mexico to say our last farewell. She got to see him for the holidays, but feels bad for not making it to the funeral. She has a fear of heights and doesn’t like taking the plane. It takes about 3 days to get there on the bus. She would’ve not made it on time.
.
I haven’t thought about drinking. Sobriety feels normal now. No matter how rough days are.Gotta keep pushing forward. Gotta be strong for the fam and the kids.

Have a great day, fam. Stay strong.

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:high_brightness: Morning Check In :high_brightness:
Day 347 substance free
Morning!! Busy, busy day ahead of me. Just getting my son on the bus for school and then off right away to walmart for groceries. I normally would never leave at 9am for a huge grocery shop but i have to be home btwn 11-1 for our internet technician to get here. Weve been having probalems again with our wifi and cable. Then once they leave im going to go for a workout before i have to pick up my son from the bus. All n all today should be good!! Have a great addiction free day everyone!
:butterfly:

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Day 117
I’m on my way to the dentist, 2 teeth need a new filling. The old ones got leaky. I’m a grown woman but I’m still afraid of this, a dentist appointment.
Only because one dentist did lie to me when I was a kid. He said “It won’t hurt”. Guess. It did hurt bad. Since that day I had panic when my parents told me we have to go to the dentist. Of course it got worse with time.
I know nothing bad will happen, if I want I get an injection that numbs everything (I always want!).
I try to accept that I have this fear, but that won’t make it go away.
Luckily I’m sober, drinking maximizes fear and makes it worse. I’m more in control now.
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day friends and stay strong :muscle::kissing_heart:

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Aw, man. I hate the dentist. I got some deep cleaning done not too long ago. The dentist put a cotton swab in my mouth and I thought it was a needle. I was pretty embarrassed about it. She was like, “it’s just a cotton swab.” Hope all is well.

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I’m sorry that you made this experience :slightly_frowning_face:
I trust my dentist 100%, she is specialized in patients with fear and she’s simply gorgeous. All of her assistants too. I told them before they started that my fear has increased and that I even had panic attacs not long ago.
I got a tiny stress ball to squeeze and she explained every step she made :heart:
And I knew it’s okay if I want to stop, all of that relaxed me enough to push through.
And we only fixed one tooth, the worst one :sweat_smile: The other one is going to be fixed in April.

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I’m sorry to hear about your grandpa :people_hugging: thinking of you and your family during this time.

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@Hazy I hope you got some sleep :sleeping:
@Mno so that’s where the geese have disappeared to, since the lakes I walk round have frozen over, it’s been so strange not seeing them! I hope meeting the new therapist went well. :blush:
@onthewagon31 congrats on 9 months :tada:
@KellyKelly congrats on 300 days :tada:
@GOKU2019 thanks for noticing :blush: one day closer now. I’m sorry for your loss :mending_heart::people_hugging:
@Sabrina80 yikes! I’m terrified of the dentist too, I can smell it just from reading your post, I always hope that I don’t need any work done :grimacing: my next check-up is in Feb, aaargh! I’m glad your experience today went okay, you got through it, well done :people_hugging::star2:

899 days no alcohol.
364 days no cocaine.

Double milestones tomorrow…don’t I know it! These urges to binge-eat or buy some disposable vapes are putting a capital C in Cravings, and capital Ms in Milestone Malady!!

I went to the shopping centre and got my dad some aftershave and socks for his bday next week, also a card and wrapping paper. No more stressing and scrolling wondering what to get him.

Got home, and stood, frozen, leaning over my kitchen side for 3 hours fighting urges, it took everything I had to get myself out for my lake walk, and not to the shops for binge foods and disposable vapes. I really had to listen to all the little and loud voices running through my mind. I know a few disposables and some crisps and sweets would be far better than alcohol or cocaine, but I don’t want them either, I hate this feeling of needing something to take the edge off. So I reminded myself that a walk, a meditation, and then, coming here is, something and without a second thought, that’s exactly what I’ve done. I can’t say the urges have gone, and I won’t know I’m safe until both shops close at 10pm, so 3.5 hours from now, but I’m proud of myself, for now, anyway!

:blue_heart:

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I’m re watching penny dreadful, think I was in active drinking at the time I seen it, just started session 1, ep.1 now.
Iv never seen game of thrones.
Hope your doing okay :slightly_smiling_face:

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That’s a good watch still in a lot of pain waiting for pain clinic still

Still watching on the dietitian

But at least still sober this time thanks for asking

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