Yep, up to the the fifth step. I was in group therapy at the time, and there was a spiritual advisor there -I think he was a pastor at a local church- he would help people with 4th/5th steps if they didn’t have a sponsor or someone they could talk to.
Once I finished group, and left to my own, my stepwork dwindled down.
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Day 141
I was laaaazy all day and you know what? I enjoyed it. No work tomorrow because of the Carnival parades that happen everywhere (called Rosenmontag) and basically everyone is partying tomorrow. Except me, I’ll watch those crazies from a distance 
Some days ago I set up a profile on a dating app and yeah…I don’t know what to say
I matched with a man, sounds really nice, musician, has a cute dog, no kids, all good. We chat 2 days, plan to meet after he cured his cold (basically everyone is sick rn) and then he asks if I could remove his stitches when we meet.
He cut his finger last week and he doesn’t want to wait until his appointment with his Dr.
It wasn’t a joke, he was dead serious.
I removed the match. I hope the next one doesn’t text me strange stuff.
I’ll munch more banana bread now, have a beautiful sober day friends and stay strong 
@Juli1 you’re sitting on the driver’s seat. It’s your life. What you give power to has power over you if you allow it.
Don’t allow anyone to control your life. Don’t give him power over you.
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We are also fleeing Rosenmontag, too many drunk people around. On Thursday (“Altweiber”) I saw a guy stumbling around and was afraid he might have a seizure but then remembered which day it was 
. So good this won’t happen to me this carnival and hopefully this will stay this way. Good decision to have a lazy day and good luck with your next date, that it’s not going to be another crazy one 
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Checking in on day 55. Today was good, we went to an exposition in a former industrial gas storage silo, showing earth with all its wonders and what we are doing to it in a beautiful manner. The top chamber contains an inflatable globe, around 20 meters in diameter, showing interactive weather, oceanic flows, flight and ship data protections on it. Perfect as an alternative to carnival parties.
Have a good and sober evening!
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Oh my God hahahahaha
I must jump to the grocery store tomorrow bc I forgot something. I really hope and pray that I don’t see shit drunk folks.
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Thank you all for your words and support
@Planipennia @CATMANCAM @Twizzlers @Scorpn @Sabrina80 @LeeHawk @BushPig @Alycia @Deelzebub @TrustyBird and everyone else paying attention.
I am not used to so much support, but here in this digital it feels realy good.
As I know you, a question on the point.
I have to reflect…
Being with him, drinking and him using cocaine was always a way to step a bit out of this world.
Before my last relaps he called soo many times. The relaps on alcohol finally made me open the door and unblock him and finally ended in a super drunken relaps to a night with him.
But what feelings are there, that I want to evoke under that … Maybe its loneliness and feeling life is not exciting enough this moment. But I will have think about it.
As i don’t want to change my mobile phone, that blocks the calls, but leaves the messages in a type of junk calls mailbox …
I will organise changing my mobile number tomorrow!
And end this chapter with him in my life. Finally! Sometimes the key has to be locked not only twice!!! 
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Checking in with 327 days.
Wfh today, going to head to the gym first. Not feeling awesome, the weekend was a bit stressful. Hopefully a quiet day home at work helps me to reset.
Have a wonderful day guys 
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Man, you might want to give it a go again. Groups change. With all that’s going on for you, and don’t see how it could hurt. You might make some connections for jobs as well. Try different groups.
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That just sounds perfects.
No special effects needed!
Big hug 
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Thank you very much 
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Checking in
Day 371
I got up at 620am for work only to find that my little guy did catch this flu from me n hubby 
he hasnt thrown up yet thankfully, which is my biggest fear as he aspirates (hence why he is gtube fed). I decided to stay home with him to make sure he didnt end up having to go to the hospital. I lowered the volume and feed rate on his feed pump to make sure it was a much more gentle rate that his formula went into his belly.
This afternoon I went grocery shopping since he has been doing fairly well. Him and hubby stayed home and relaxed playing videogames. On the way to the train i started getting using thoughts. I never feed into the thoughts anymore but instead come at it from an inquisitive point of view. Kind of like… “why are you coming at me now?” Lol I realized that with being sick and not having much energy for anything, i havent done much recovery related stuff either. I have prayed but not nearly as much as im used to. No meditation, no exercise, nothing. I have been sick but those addictive sneaky thoughts come at any time, they dont care. So back to the recovery routine i go. Glad to be feeling better. Juat praying that my son doesnt get worse 
Hope everyone has been doing well. I will have to try and go back and read abit. Ive missed alot.
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Hugs to your boy,
And you too,
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Day 43. Not much to say.
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Day 13 of no narcotics
Irritation levels-very high 
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Day 264. Have been saving my money for a bike and we’ll I baught a lottery ticket which I know is not great, but I don’t buy them to often, anyways I won 100 dollars so I had 200 dollars for a bike. But I was excited and was impulsively scavenging the market place trying to find a bike. I was torn between two bikes or saving my money for something I really wanted. Why I felt I need a bike right now idk, but I ended up buying this. It’s a nice older style Gary Fisher, it’s a 2001 and I do like it, but it’s just not exactly my style I should of looked it over better and realized that it’s only 26 in wheels when I really need 29s. idk so I kind of have a regret for buying this when I should of saved my money and tried to find something I really want, but also part of me says well I didn’t need to save up and get me a top of the line bike for 1,000 dollars again anyways. Idk anyways here’s a pic of the new bike I got, It is super light and has some good qualities as well… just trying to fix this impulsive behavior because it can be dangerous, I’m glad I see it tho and acknowledge it.
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Nice find, Mike… I think it’ll be a good ride!
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You’re absolutely right, but in the short term I have to find a job immediately. I could probably make an afternoon meeting.
Day 0 
Not a whole lot to say. Just being really anxious about the future. Wanted to check in and say hello.
Hello! 
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You can’t change the past which kinda sucks cuz if I did I’d I’d be sober longer
Relapses so hurt but this is progress over perfection
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Dude that is an awesome bike! I have a 2000 trek which is similar i even have a manitou fork like that one. And it looks like it has my all time favorite tires - panaracer fire xc! Forgive me i have been mountain biking for decades I couldnt help myself!
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12 days sober today!
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