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checking in D583 nic D 7 alc
Hi sober fam, happy Sunday to you!
Happy to report attended Refuge rRecovery yesterday, all was good just a quite a bit bigger group that used to (more love right ?) The Emotions Anon meetings usually had max 4 ppl a lot of times just the 2 of us.
Group unity comes first before personal recovery -EA love this one : )
I felt the love in the room at RR and enjoyed (cold weather temp) walk after as well.
I know where Iām spending time at Sat afternoons And grateful for this and for you all here. I know I am blessed and will give back to the fellowship.
Safe travels and Happy trails friends 
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Day 618 check in. Took the kids skiing yesterday. Today will try to complete some chores around the house. Living on the edge, you see 
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Day 5. Still night sweats/chills and crazy dreams. But determined to start exercising today. Hopefully will help me to detox a bit.
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Checking in day 18. SA meetings are helping not only at the meetings but with the network of recovery friends I can call. Feeling conscious and grounded, and constructive.
Today about an hour after getting up I remembered a dream I had last night (it floated up into my consciousness as I was making breakfast). It was a using dream. I remember it now, not so much the details but the thinking, the relapse steps, I remember in the dream choosing to give in. Iāve done that hundreds of times before. But when I realized this morning that it had been a dream, a wave of relief swept over me.
This is the first dream of this type Iāve had, and the first wave of relief like that. Iām not sure what this means but I think it is significant.
About to go out ice fishing. Itās a community event. Looking forward to it!
Take care friends. Be present today and use your recovery connections, here or elsewhere. You will find what you need.
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Hi Juli, Iām just so glad you keep trying because thatās all we are all doing really. Each day we are trying.
We donāt all get it the first time, for most of us it takes a few fails and lessons learnt. Some to hit rock bottom.
For me I thought I got rock bottom than found another rock under that one, things were bad if I didnāt stop ā¦ Well Id rather not think about the damage.
You havent got yourself into serious trouble or damaged things in your life so bad so you can turn this around, I know you can 
These thoughts I get them all the time, I try really hard not to let them grow as that is me mentally relapsing which happens way before the physical relapse.
I learnt this the hard way, I think we all do .
I have to stop the thoughts growing inside my head, the seed will always be in my head trying to grow so I must not water it with thoughts, I know itās not easy.
I just want you to know you are not alone with these thoughts and they are so hard.
Iām proud of you for coming here and trying again, thatās all you can do and your time will get longer, Even though you relapsed you are growing as a person each time and learning more strategies.
I know if I even touch Alcohol the rest of the problems I indulges in will follow. Iām well behaved sober, if I get a drink in me I feel like Iv turnt into super woman and then I have risky behaviours. Iām safe sober I have to remind myself this everyday.
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The tree still stands?!
Nature is freaking amazing.
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Hello all,
Checking in to start a new week soberā¦
Thanks!
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Used to. I thought the human contact of meetings would be good for me since all of my friends are also an alcoholic and I need to meet new people. But about half the time, Iād leave a meeting wanting to drink more than when I went in, so I kind of drifted away.
One counselor told me āyou should have some kind of structured program, even if itās not AA.ā She may have a point.
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Did you find that some of the people at the meetings just used it as a free venting session for their mental health issues and drinking wasnāt even their main issue in life?
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@Juli1 donāt listen to the thoughts, you are stronger 
also, changing your number would stop the calls and end the toxic ex nonsenseā¦just seen your next post, welcome back 
congrats on your honesty, now get that number changed and focus on your healthy self 
Changing mine has been so peaceful. I wish Iād done it sooner.
@2JTravNZ congrats on 5 months 
@Luna2022 congrats on 50 days
@Bear21 welcome back 
@anon74766472 congrats on 3 weeks no caffeine
@SoberWalker woah! I didnāt know Beavers did so much damage! Feel better soon
@Jasty2 welcome back congrats on your honesty 
hereās to stacking days
@Nowenbrace congrats on your week
923 days no alcohol.
388 days no cocaine.
11 days no crisps.
10 days no vape.
2 days no binge-eating.
Today I managed to hoover for the first time in a month, I also burned some incense. It feels nice in here again.
Did my walks, meditated, chilled with the cats.
I also impulsively had most of my hair cut off, to try to prevent the āis that a woman or a man?ā comments/questions. Itās shorter than I wanted it, but I just wanted it done, so I went to the barbershop closest to me. I will go back to the one in my hometown going forward.
Now, more meditation, then TV time.
I hope youāve all had wonderful sober weekends.
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Absolutely. One guy was notorious for that; you could go to literally any meeting in Topeka and mention his name, eyes would start rolling. Heād go on for 30-45 minutes about living with his mother and sister, and occasionally mention drinking.
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Yep, up to the the fifth step. I was in group therapy at the time, and there was a spiritual advisor there -I think he was a pastor at a local church- he would help people with 4th/5th steps if they didnāt have a sponsor or someone they could talk to.
Once I finished group, and left to my own, my stepwork dwindled down.
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Day 141
I was laaaazy all day and you know what? I enjoyed it. No work tomorrow because of the Carnival parades that happen everywhere (called Rosenmontag) and basically everyone is partying tomorrow. Except me, Iāll watch those crazies from a distance 
Some days ago I set up a profile on a dating app and yeahā¦I donāt know what to say
I matched with a man, sounds really nice, musician, has a cute dog, no kids, all good. We chat 2 days, plan to meet after he cured his cold (basically everyone is sick rn) and then he asks if I could remove his stitches when we meet.
He cut his finger last week and he doesnāt want to wait until his appointment with his Dr.
It wasnāt a joke, he was dead serious.
I removed the match. I hope the next one doesnāt text me strange stuff.
Iāll munch more banana bread now, have a beautiful sober day friends and stay strong 
@Juli1 youāre sitting on the driverās seat. Itās your life. What you give power to has power over you if you allow it.
Donāt allow anyone to control your life. Donāt give him power over you.
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We are also fleeing Rosenmontag, too many drunk people around. On Thursday (āAltweiberā) I saw a guy stumbling around and was afraid he might have a seizure but then remembered which day it was 
. So good this wonāt happen to me this carnival and hopefully this will stay this way. Good decision to have a lazy day and good luck with your next date, that itās not going to be another crazy one 
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Checking in on day 55. Today was good, we went to an exposition in a former industrial gas storage silo, showing earth with all its wonders and what we are doing to it in a beautiful manner. The top chamber contains an inflatable globe, around 20 meters in diameter, showing interactive weather, oceanic flows, flight and ship data protections on it. Perfect as an alternative to carnival parties.
Have a good and sober evening!
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Oh my God hahahahaha
I must jump to the grocery store tomorrow bc I forgot something. I really hope and pray that I donāt see shit drunk folks.
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Thank you all for your words and support
@Planipennia @CATMANCAM @Twizzlers @Scorpn @Sabrina80 @LeeHawk @BushPig @Alycia @Deelzebub @TrustyBird and everyone else paying attention.
I am not used to so much support, but here in this digital it feels realy good.
As I know you, a question on the point.
I have to reflectā¦
Being with him, drinking and him using cocaine was always a way to step a bit out of this world.
Before my last relaps he called soo many times. The relaps on alcohol finally made me open the door and unblock him and finally ended in a super drunken relaps to a night with him.
But what feelings are there, that I want to evoke under that ā¦ Maybe its loneliness and feeling life is not exciting enough this moment. But I will have think about it.
As i donāt want to change my mobile phone, that blocks the calls, but leaves the messages in a type of junk calls mailbox ā¦
I will organise changing my mobile number tomorrow!
And end this chapter with him in my life. Finally! Sometimes the key has to be locked not only twice!!! 
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Checking in with 327 days.
Wfh today, going to head to the gym first. Not feeling awesome, the weekend was a bit stressful. Hopefully a quiet day home at work helps me to reset.
Have a wonderful day guys 
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Man, you might want to give it a go again. Groups change. With all thatās going on for you, and donāt see how it could hurt. You might make some connections for jobs as well. Try different groups.
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