Hey all, checking in on day 1,005. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 1,007 clean and sober today. Have a great day, love you guys! 
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Sobriety is a gift! Thank you for inspiring us this morning. Hiking is one of my favorite things to do as well.
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Congrats on the healthy grandbaby! @Ravikamor
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Itās just not possible for you to be a grandmother. Congrats to you, my California friend!
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day 378 of no self harm
still doing pretty terribly after quitting my job. itās been 3 days and Iāve probably slept no more than 8 hours that entire time. Tonight I got 2 hours of sleep.
yesterday I applied for a new daycare job (the website said the application was submitted but Iāve gotten a confirmation email from every single job Iāve applied for online except this one so Iām not sure it went through. if I donāt hear anything Iāll try again Monday and then Iāll call if I need to ) I also registered for college classes, I start may 30th
today was probably the hardest. I forced myself out of bed and went for an hour walk and ended up crying most of it. had to force myself to refill my medication organizer for the week, seriously just wanted to stop my meds all together. I feel so hopeless. my parents keep nagging me to clean my room (it is a disaster) now that Iām not working but Iām barely even eating enough. the room was already overwhelming when I was doing good, itās far too much to imagine cleaning now.
later today I pick up some equipment for an at home sleep study. doctor wants to rule out sleep issues before we start testing for more chronic illness that would cause my fatigue.
since I quit so unexpectedly I had scheduled to see my therapist every 3 weeks, if I donāt get accepted into this new job(itās the only other daycare nearby and I still donāt have my license so i need my parents to agree to take me and they donāt want more than a 10 minute drive) Iām probably gonna have to make an appointment for sooner
this post is all jumbled Iām not sure if it makes any sense Iām so tired
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A brand new shiny day 3. I am trying to chase the negativity away by congratulating myself on little things. I made good decisions yesterday. Itās rare to feel good about them all at the end of the day, but I even woke up today feeling good then, especially 1. Part of the reason I had a relapse was opportunity. My husband keeps bottles just right in the kitchen, visible, right there in the open, just screaming at me. He made a joke about me being a drunk, not realizing how devastated I currently am because I hide everything. Instead of just letting the sting sink in and add to my shame, I walked up to him and told him that if there was a substance I knew of out in the world that could cause him so much physical and emotional harm, I would ban it from our home, block it with my own body, do whatever I could to keep him safe. It made me sad that he didnāt think to do the same for me. By the end of the day, the bottles were gone. Maybe a small victory.
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Iām so glad you had that convo with your husband. Well done!
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Congratulations Granny 
Iām so happy for ya.
Enjoy your tears of happiness. Such a beautiful thing. 
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Day 12 no alcohol fam 
Every time I tell booze to F off I get that much stronger. Dropped the doggos off at daycare & just had a nice sweaty run on my treadmill (still too much snow to run outside). I have my morning Tempest meeting in about an hour, looking forward to it. Iām starting to cement new habits that will support my sobriety like running, meetings, meditation and watching a video or two from the Tempest library. Thank you all for being here, it really helps.
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So great to see you checking in Roland. And with 8 months!!!
Iām so happy for you.
Keep enjoying that hiking. I bet youāll kick that nicotine soon and be free to just hike. Then youāll just be you and your HP. Nothing holding you back sir.
Iām just so happy for ya.
Thanks for the update. Youāve been missed. Keep doing what your doing.
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Oh @Ravikamor that is the happiest news to wake up and read! Congratulations! Nothing better than a baby to put life in perspective 
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Day 12 and going well. Feel this is it this time. So happy. Just need to keep on keeping on. Hope everyone good.
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Iām on day 12 too Mark, congratulations to us 
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@TryingJoy im so glad u spoke ur truth to ur husband. I wish he would have really absorbed what u said and took that into consideration. Its so important that we are not silent about the things that hurt/bother us. It just hurts us more when we hold onto that anger and resentment. Im proud of u!
@SadMemeQueen sounds like alot is going on 
its good that u keep on trying to find new work. Sounds like it was really beneficial for u. Hoping something comes from all ur hard efforts. Sending positive energy ur way 
@ShadowFax Roland! It is SO good to hear from u! Im so happy about ur recovery time and all the wonderful things uv mentioned in ur post. Thats extremely exciting about that hike! Im glad ur back 
@Twizzlers way to go on the workout! Makes me wish i got up this morning to workout haha enjoy ur day friend!
@ravikamor yay!!! Congratulations on the arrival of ur beautiful grandbaby! 
@misokatsu what a hurtful thing for ur husband to say im so sorry that u have to be subjected to this. This isnt okay. Way to go tho on the c25k program! I stopped i think at 1 week in haha i give u props for trying again
@zzz congratulations on double digits!!
@mno gorgeous pic! I love all of your photos. You live in such a beautiful area have a great day!
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Day 166
I slept long, cleaned the kitchen while having my first coffee. Yesterday I had a bad headache and slept mostly. Today the head is better, my period is on full bitch mode haha BUT the mood is becoming better.
Iām on my way back up 
I think on Saturday Iāll feel 100% like me again. I know this cycle already.
I hope youāre having a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 12 and hating how drinking:using is constantly on my mind. I know this is a process and eventually it will get easier but feeling tired and frustrated with the struggle at this moment. Hate that I wake up thinking about drinking/using. Needed to vent now going to hit a meeting and do some reading to hopefully get passed this moment.
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5 days is big! Keep connected !
Withdrawal sucks but it will end. Staying connected here and with my sponsor helped me tremendously during that period and everyday since. Glad you are here!
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37 days AF
I have been doing well with this community along with reading the big book and talking with my sponsor. Have totally changed my diet to include intermittent fasting between 12 and 16 hours.
Smaller portions for any meal and trying to have one or two Arbonne protein shakes during my time to eat.
Been doing great for about a month and lost like 13 lbs but yesterday I lost it and ate two huge cinnamon rolls in the morning, boneless chicken wings at lunch, and other calorie packed food early evening and I blew my calorie limit off the chartā¦ā¦
But I stayed sober! 
Going to get back on track with my diet today.
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