Checking in daily to maintain focus #52

Why go to places like that? You make it too hard for yourself by doing that. Make it as easy as possible and avoid every alcohol related event, people and places for a while. So no pub, restaurant, wine section supermarket, drinkingbuddies, festival, party, wedding, whatever. When you have more sober days and are stronger you can do such things again and enjoying them sober.

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302, checking in.

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Everyone there was new at some point, and they are very happy to see a new person come in!

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Day 269 :heart:
Been feeling very emotional past few days. I have little tears. I cried on Saturday because I just canā€™t believe everything that Iā€™ve survived. I thought about all the people who didnā€™t survive. I feel very grateful but so emotional.
Today Iā€™ve been feeling more guilty about things Iā€™ve messed up or missed so a bit different.
Anybody else get this around the 9 months mark?
Keep on keeping on x

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Hey :wave: we have all been in your situation. Hungover and cursing ourself for not being able to stick to sobriety.
I totally know what you mean about drinking being the only thing adults do to socialise. Itā€™s really hard in the beginning when you feel like your missing out. I had to really baby myself in the first few months and stay well clear of all of the triggering places that made me miss drinking or feel like I was missing out. But once I made it to a place where I felt good, and strong in my sobriety which was around 6 months, I slowly started socialising again. Weddings, dinners, bars. And I donā€™t feel like Iā€™m missing out anymore. I can still go and enjoy a nice drink, my pocket feels a lot better the next day and itā€™s such a relief to be free of hangovers.
But it takes time, steer clear and take care of yourself a while. Prioritise getting sober again, you wonā€™t regret it :heartpulse:

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Thank you
Iā€™m finally out. I go back Friday

Today was crazy
I think I did ok actually lol :laughing:
I put out over 30 boxes for both departments which is over 60 in 2 hours
I took heat but maturely moved forward

Iā€™m sick now though
Iā€™ll be back to it in 3 days so itā€™s a good time to get over my cold

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I see you. It sounds like you are working so damn hard, you should be really proud of yourself for the work you are putting in.
Our brains can be such assholes. Alcohol as a treat is the stupidest idea that pops into my brain from time to time too. But I know that just once is never just once, and the slope of moderation is a steep and dangerous one.
Take some time to remember how far you have come. Some days feel tough, but you have come so far and youā€™re doing a great job :people_hugging:

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342 days sober today.
Back to work, Iā€™m looking forward to it. Itā€™s been hard being at home this long weekend in the funk Iā€™ve been in. The rest has been nice but being expected to be in a wonderful ā€˜holidayā€™ mood while Iā€™ve not been :100: is a bit hard.
At work I have something to focus on, and as long as Iā€™m being productive no one expects a huge amount from me socially haha. Thatā€™s a weird mindset to be in but itā€™s where Iā€™m at rn :sweat_smile:
I had a decent weekend though, enjoyed a nice kid free lunch at a bar on the weekend with my hubby, working on socialising our new pup who is an absolute drama queen around other dogs. Prepared some healthy lunches for myself yesterday.
Just feels a bit tougher mentally lately, but the clouds will part Iā€™m sure.
Have a wonderful day all :heartpulse:

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Day 58. Tired. Still not sleeping well. Work was okay, but still struggling to focus. Nothing planned for the evening. Hanging out with the cats watching TV.

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Today was extremely hard because I absolutely hate my job and have not been able to get even a first round interview anywhere. I know life doesnā€™t owe me anything and I should be grateful to have a job, but Iā€™m so stressed out and people are so rude. My job is the biggest threat to my sobriety. I can feel my heart rate increase with stress and anxiety as soon as I sit down at my computer. Iā€™ve told management that I need help but they just did layoffs so no help is coming. Feeling defeated and hopeless. Sometimes I wonder why Iā€™m working so hard to be sober just so I can feel all of this stress and anxiety raw.

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I spend time outside, reading, playing my guitar or fiddle, cutting up two trees that fell
In this windstorm that has me with no power stillā€¦ā€¦

I am slowly getting energy back. Lost almost 10 lbs this past 27 days sober.

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Good job cueball. Im at 28 daysā€¦energy is slowly coming back for me too. Very slowly in my caseā€¦but waking up sober is worth it. Better health is worth it.

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Knowing sobriety is worth itā€¦is goodā€¦but i am struggling. Im not giving upā€¦but my depression keeps me from doing much. Im taking some medsā€¦but even taking a shower is hard work for me. I try to walk my dog and read. Day 28 sober is something i am proud of.

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28 days is amazing. Take baby steps and try to have some compassion for your body and mind

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Thank you so much for that! I feel much less alone because of your encouragement

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Checking in
Day 386
Not feeling the greatest right now. Today definitly was hard. Just nothing was going smoothly today. Everything from people parking in the wheelchair spot so my sons wheelchair cab struggled to pick us up, to the Vision Clinic cancelling our appt last month without telling me (had to argue my way to get him seen, which they allowed thankfully), to someone stealing 2 of my sons formula boxes (theres a formula shortage of this particular brand and these 2 boxes were to bridge us until the issue was resolved. I had to contact the dietician to try and get them replaced). Thankfully the cab drivers there and back were sooo nice and helpful. But ill be honestā€¦ i dont feel good about how i handled everything today. I feel bad honestly. I could have handled these situations so much better. I acted out in ā€œold waysā€ and idk i kind of realized that theres so much more to recovery than just not using/drinking. For example being honest is a characteristic of recovery and dishonesty isnt. I have to respond to everyday life problems from a recovery stand point. Anyway, i came home feeling just awful and then binge ate (which i havent done in awhile) which wasnt good. Just trying to show myself some forgiveness here bcuz today was hard overall. Doing my best to live life on lifes terms.
:butterfly:

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Hey gal! This was me at one point. Make it a focus to get out. I had to quit my job to get sober, but that was just how bad I got. Hang in there.

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Thank you :pray:

These are some magic words in your postā€¦

You are right, when we are living by our own will nothing goes right. If you are anything like me your will alone is not strong enough to beat this beast called addiction. It took me a long time to reach a place of acceptance around just how strong addiction is. It took a lot of courage for me to take a hard look at my life while i was in active addiction and I had to be brutally honest with myself. The strength of the hold that addiction had over me was stronger than the love I have for my child. Now that was a very hard truth for me to accept but it was one that I couldnā€™t deny as I drank before driving her to school, in the school parking lot while I waited to pick her up and left her home alone to go get more. I couldnā€™t stop myself from driving with open alcohol in the car when my baby girl was in the back seat not because I didnā€™t love her, not because I wouldnā€™t jump in front of a train for her or take a bullet for her. I did all of those things because I didnā€™t have a choice. The disease of addiction had robbed me of my choices in life and being able to be the best mom I could be was one of those.

It sounds like you might be exactly like me.

What I didnā€™t do in the first year of my recovery was go to wine bars. What I did do was surround myself with other people who wanted to be sober. Thatā€™s whatā€™s been working for me for the last three years, I highly suggest trying it out. Being sober feels amazing! :heart:

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Thank you. This is what I needed to hear- not condemnation, I do enough of that to myself.

Going to a wine bar is stupid, I am fully aware, but I justified it because I have no social life. I have a career, Iā€™m in college, I have a family- a 19 year old daughter that just moved back in- a husband who drinks and smokes weed daily. The rare social occassion I can make time for always involves cocktails or a bottle of wine. I seriuosly cannot socially isolate myself any more than what I have been.

What other things worked for you?
Did you go to meetings? Did you go alone?
Did you have a supportive partner?
Did you use medication?
How long do the crappy feelings last?
What can I expect??

I appreciate your response today. Thank you for your transparency, it means a lot.

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