I hope today and this evening are better and kind to you my friend 
Maybe there is something in this yearās spring air as I have been feeling and thinking on this same road with my addiction.
We can get through this, it will pass.
Il be thinking of you today and this evening and will check in later to see how you are 
You have been doing well in therapy and itās okay to feel different about it somdays even when it feels uncomfortable. Iām here for you 
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Slept well! 
And I liked the movie, I have never saw so many liters āketchupā flowingā¦
You have to have a good stomache to watch this horror movie 
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Day 
Yesss. Having same visitor time to time tooā¦ I am likeā¦
3DRule!s 
In-Case-You-Forgot-The-Rule-Itās-3D-Rule-D-D-D-Dont-Do-Drugs
Day 2 again no smoking cigarettes / Cigars smoked 1
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Sorry to hear Mark, but glad youāre hear!!
How comes?
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I think you are doing soooo good @anon74766472 
Look at you! You had doubts about going to France but I feel like itās bringing you a lot of growth/strenght. Even contacted a recruiter for maybe other opportunities when you are home again. Wow!
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@Binx I often feel like that too. like I have fewer problems or bad experiences, so donāt ādeserveā to be here. And I remember those early days well, checking my counter throughout the day to see the numbers creeping up to another day in the books. Hoping you get over the 5/6 day hump and then keep going.
@Catmama23 I can understand and relate. For me it wasnāt so much that I no longer enjoyed what I did when I was drinking, but that drinking and the hangovers, and the catching up with work from the time I was passed out, meant I just didnāt remember what I enjoyed because I had had no time to do anything. When I got sober I had all this time and didnāt know what to do with it. I did feel bored and restless, and had to remember, I like books, I like studying Japanese, I like swimming, etc. I also had to ask and still ask, what is important to me? What do I want? Before I was just surviving the latest hangover and didnāt have energy to think about anything else.
And for me the voice has certainly got quieter and less frequent. A few of its favorite tricks do just no longer work on me. The ājust oneā voice has bit the dust for me. I just know to my core that one will lead to blackout and breaking stuff.
@GenG Congrats!
@Mno I donāt know, but could it be connected? You make a breakthrough and subconsciously that is scary so you revert back to tried and tested coping mechanisms? Definitely good to ask about it in therapy, I think.
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#Day 1677 
Weekend!!!
Need one And even have a 3 days weekend.
So not complaining. Finished my spinner ring yesterday at class and proud of it.
Itās fun to create something yourself. Itās a simple design, but I made it all myself and never did such a thing before. I discovered I am good at this 
Itās strange to write it down, but I want to write it down. Iām always insecure about lotās of things in my life. Good in hiding those insecure feelings as well.
Itās such a good feeling to get compliments from the teacher and others that Iām doing so well.
Quit playing in a band and starting this class instead was a good choise.
New things are scary but can bring so much!
Today? Going to a triftshop with my daughter and lunch somewhere together.
Have a good day all
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Thank you! 
You actually have made a beautiful piece of jewellery and done a really good job 
you should feel proud
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Day 13 checking in hope everyone has a good day
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Day 98.
How absolutely bonkers is that? Me quitting drinking and about to hit 100 days. Thereās a lot going through my little blonde head, but for now, Iāll just leave it here and savour the day.
Iām off to the beach with my audiobook and some soda water and a couple of cokes. (The guy in the shop thinks itās weird I buy both coke AND waterā¦ like oneās for the taste, the otherās for the thirst and at least itās not a 7 am wine run 
)
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Itās the morning of day 203 alcohol free and day 11 social media free
The headache is still there, not as bad as yesterday but not gone either. I moved my mattress yesterday, that usually helps a little.
I know why my head hurts, I didnāt move as much as I used to so I have this tight back that leads to headache.
Time to walk some km per day again, thatās by the way the BEST for me to lose weight! Simple walking.
Iām making plans what to eat and what to do this weekend. Green asparagus will be involved hehe, I love this stuff. Even if it stinks when you pee after eating it.
Iāll stay in bed a little longer today itās so cozy
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 9 no weed
Day 169 no alcohol
Today Iām up early
Iām not sure why but when I get up early I have thoughts of picking up weed. Maybe because itās quiet, or I have spare time, or Iām just crazy (obsessed)
I feel good
Very rested
The misses is also up ,playing video games.
I know all the gross ars secrets to get high. I remember picking up roaches off the ground outside yukkkkkkkkk; dangerous and mad gross.
The worst luck seemed like good luck when I picked up a laced roach and after tumbling into trash cans then flipping on my roommates. Day turned to night in seconds. I remember yelling why is it so quiet at my roommates thinking it was the end of the world. That happened 3 years ago and I never found out exactly what it was.
Wow that sucked
Iām also lucky I didnāt get some sort of illness from doing those kind of things
I had a check up a year ago and they said I was completely fine as Iām dodging bullets beyond my control
Iām very lucky to be safe and healthy right now because picking up roaches are very very yucky. My life could have turned for the worse all over a tiny yucky roach of pot
So stay safe and say no to drugs and alcohol
It could be the difference of being healthy and very sick
Iām not happy about those times but it feels good to let it out and know how fortunate I am. With drugs and alcohol addiction, I think we are all fortunate to be alive. Every second sober is a miracle
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Hi Menno, Iām so sorry you had such a rough night. We want healing to be a straight line upwards, but it so much messier than that. I know what itās like to feel alone and like everything is hopeless. Iām glad you reached out here. You are never alone.
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Checking in on day 254 or something like that. As I shared elsewhere, I had a dream that I drank last night. All I remember is the feelings of disappointment and guilt. I was relieved when I woke up, but it feels like my mind is trying to betray me, and itās unsettling.
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Iām sorry to read about your taste.
I wish you a quick regaining!
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,042. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hi Mark! Im so glad ur back friend 
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Checking in
Day 433
Feeling a little off this morning. I had yet another using dream. For the past 6 months or so they happen on an average of about 3-4x a week so ive slightly gotten used to them but last nights was disturbing. I remember fighting SO hard to resist the urge to use and then i caved. The scenerio would replay over n over until i woke up. Woke up feeling sooo much guilt and shame. It took me a few min of me telling myself that it was only a dream to sort of pull out of it. Im sooo tired of these dreams. I thought i had to up my recovery related stuff bcuz maybe i wasnt doing as much work on my recovery as I should have been, but for awhile now ive really put in the effort and these dreams are still there. When do these go away? And what is the purpose of this dreams? To remind me of whats it like? Idk Anyway, have a great Saturday everyone
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@CATMANCAM i have found a lot of value in meditation too. I find myself rarely wanting to do it but Iām always glad I did (like broccoli for the brain). I will have to try saying ānoā out loud to the voice too! Thank you!
@LeeHawk if there was a class on āallowing the journey to unfold at its own paceā Iād probably be failing 
so itās good to remind myself of this. I want to translate impatience into āexcitement for the possibilitiesā as youāve beautifully phrased thisā¦ and that recovery is not the same as not drinking. Thank you
@Misokatsu i too need to explore whatās important to me, and remembering what I like. Maybe I just embrace the 12 year old me who wasnāt yet worried about being perfect or escaping her life and pick up from where I left off. I appreciate your wisdom 
@zzz any Office gif brings me joy, so thank you! Right on with that!!
60 days AF. I have so much gratitude to be sober and to have found this forum. I did wake up last night with my first ever panic attack. I felt like something heavy was sitting on my chest, I couldnāt catch my breath, I was dizzy and my arms and face were cold and tingly. It was terrifying. It passed after about 15 minutes. Today Iām wiped out from that. Going to walk and go to a meeting and then take it easy. Happy sober Saturday everyone! 
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